(I finally got that damned fruit-fly, as I defenestrate a piece of watermelon....)
*confused? http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/08/d-feeted.html (this might help. LOL)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Economics 606
rule number 1: Don't buy what one cannot afford. (PERIOD)
it's a basic rule, and I, myself, have been guilty of it.
I mean, I had been a broke college student that would go an indulge on some steak house even though I couldn't afford to do it. I am not talking about those kind of indulgence.
I am talking about those things that would put one into debt. SERIOUS debt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tech shares and sales have jumped within this bad economy. Does that mean that while the economy is bad, we are actually out there buying gidgets and gadgets? I think it's true.
Intel, Dell, Apple ™, Research in Motion (blueberries ™, wait, raspberries, ummmm, dingleberries?? anyways, the one the President of the U.S uses) are all expecting good reports (and a couple of them DID have good reports this past week)
While the sales of the companies such as Bestbuy, Circuit city, and others have slumped, the tech part that they are selling are doing pretty good.
The video games, the puters, the mini-puters, cell phones, I-Pod, and Ur-foot ®, have all gained shares in sales and are reporting profits
It seems the trend is true to human psychology. When the economy and the money goes bad, we buy thing to make ourselves better.
Things that we often don't need, though...
now, it's different if it was something small, like a cup of $8.66 Crappucino ® @ Crapdoes, or paying $4.50 for a scoop of Chocolate/Mango/Garlic ice cream mixed with Gummy Bears ® and peas and carrots.
I am talking about $200 for an Ur-Foot™ Phone or $175 for a Dingleberry™ and then paying $75 a month service charge just so one can twitter. (I am referring to those that often says, "I am broke" but are out buying and paying for these things folks)
I've been keeping a close eye on the market reports, the 10/20/30 year bonds, the European Market, the Asian Market, Market in Dubai, and here in the U.S
our economy remains "BAD" amongst the big boys and girls.
Japan and Europe have declared that they are out of a recession(whether you believe it or not, it's in the reports, I always am cautious with the "reports" but for the arguments sake, let's just believe it's true)
The U.S economy remains unhopeful.
Unemployment is high, might reach 10% in a couple of month.
consumer sales index is low.
YET, the financials are making profits (think about this for a minute, if a company starts from ZERO (or about 1% debt and is 99% debt free, they ARE going to see profits!)
But the financial profit is a QUASI one (Yes, I am making a bold prediction here while I am not one of those talking heads on CNBC, I DO USE COMMONSENSE).
The banks are NOT loaning money, they've raised every charges they can think of that they can get away with legally: late fees, interest fees, and NEW fees that are unheard of in the past.
Every other day, we'd get a notice from one of our credit card companies saying this rate has increased, that rate has increased, there is a new charge for if you do this and/or that...and in the meanwhile, it's getting harder and harder to get loans for anyone including BIG businesses.
And we still haven't seen a true commercial property narket crash yet (hold on tight to your seats, folks, I can smell it coming). I believe it is coming.
most bankers and realtors I talk to believe it is coming.
Yes, there are sales of existing homes on the rise. But has anyone drove by one of those "model-home" open subdivisions? They are deader than a doorknob and they take up a big chunk of the housing market, which is related to the credit market, which is related to the consumer index, which is related to fear.
People are losing their homes and their jobs.
But nobody wants to loan, nobody wants to help. (well, they are not really nobodies, I am talking about the financing giants, Citi™, PeePee Morgan© ® ™ , "Anyone, anyone® ™")
Instead, charges are getting higher and higher and new inventive charges are coming out of the bamboo shoots.
If one goes to a hotel, check everything listed and you might be able to save $10.00 on unnecessary charges.
Airplane tickets? Make sure you read the fine prints about luggages and even your children that used to ride free. They might charge you a toe and a finger for your child (but arms and legs are coming, my friends!)
In a way, maybe it's a wake up call we desparately need...
my friends that are serving 3 years in Europe wrote me earlier that they have truly seen how we have been pampered and greedy and gluttonous here.
I love this country, but it's true....
In the past 20 years, buffet have been popping up everywhere, all you can eat and all you can waste. (before you say, Chinese Buffet is to blame, yes, it needs to take 50% of the blame, as well as Ryan's, Golden Corral, and others)
We have had an influx of "overnight" millionaires demanding over the top uses and priviledges in airlines and hotels (I worked in the hotel industry for close to two years) as well as buidling outrageously huge houses that has 6 bedroom when only two people live in it.
We've become a "me nation" everything is about "me, me, me, me, and me..."
Wait, NO, not EVERYBODY is that way. I have wonderful wonderful friends that saved every penny, pinched everything that they can.
BUT, THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW...
they are the ONES that have lost EVERYTHING, and I HURT for them....
then, there are those that continue to waste, spend, buy, and abuse drugs and alcohol when they are complaining about how broke they are. And they are on the rise....
They'll come to my door, asking me to do a simple job, then want me to pay them $20.00 for a shoddy job. But they're the ones that'll sell me a sad story, about how their mother isn't doing well or that their kids need to be fed.
these are the people that I also see at Best Buy later, buying those new gadgets; at the local grocery store, buying the 6-pack or the 20 pack.
btw, did I mentioned that all gambling stocks are doing quite well also?
Apparently, people go gamble during economic hard times when they claim that they have NO money, but will go and spend $500.00 one night on roulette wheel.
I have no problem with people that want to gamble. I like to gamble myself...but gamble with the money that one does not have never made any sense to me. Yet, it is those that are hopeful that they ARE the ones that will hit the jackpot that CLAIM that they are broke, that often frequent the casinos...
and the casinos ARE greedy. They don't care if one has no money to gamble. They will entice one with more credits than they'll ever be able to payback intheir life time, then stuck them with outrageous charges until they suck it all in...
oh, did I "Digest" again?? More like "indigestion" and I need some Pepe-le-peu Pistmal.
Back to the tech stuff....
I love the I-PODS, and I am a techno-phile...
'til this day...I still haven't plunged and gotten an I-pod yet...
I don't have problems with people wanting I-Pods. My problem remains that I'll hear these folks that own the newest games, playstation 3, Wii, X-Box 360,the newest I-phone, the blackberries, and the newest computer and then tell me how broke that they are...and I look at them and I'd look at their brand new game console in their entertainment center and their newest gadget that is hanging around their waist and I want to smack them and go, "WASSA da matta wif you!!!!!"
I don't have a problem with the "DREAM". Free enterprises and free markets and such. I don't want to tell people not to build bigger houses or have bigger yards. I encourage freedom and free thoughts. But, when I look around, and I see people suffering and hungry and are broke. The ones that have worked hard all their lives only to have their savings sucked into a blackhole, it makes me angry....
and I want to take out my ugly stick and go and whoop me some (_!_)'s<---------"THE" end....
it's a basic rule, and I, myself, have been guilty of it.
I mean, I had been a broke college student that would go an indulge on some steak house even though I couldn't afford to do it. I am not talking about those kind of indulgence.
I am talking about those things that would put one into debt. SERIOUS debt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tech shares and sales have jumped within this bad economy. Does that mean that while the economy is bad, we are actually out there buying gidgets and gadgets? I think it's true.
Intel, Dell, Apple ™, Research in Motion (blueberries ™, wait, raspberries, ummmm, dingleberries?? anyways, the one the President of the U.S uses) are all expecting good reports (and a couple of them DID have good reports this past week)
While the sales of the companies such as Bestbuy, Circuit city, and others have slumped, the tech part that they are selling are doing pretty good.
The video games, the puters, the mini-puters, cell phones, I-Pod, and Ur-foot ®, have all gained shares in sales and are reporting profits
It seems the trend is true to human psychology. When the economy and the money goes bad, we buy thing to make ourselves better.
Things that we often don't need, though...
now, it's different if it was something small, like a cup of $8.66 Crappucino ® @ Crapdoes, or paying $4.50 for a scoop of Chocolate/Mango/Garlic ice cream mixed with Gummy Bears ® and peas and carrots.
I am talking about $200 for an Ur-Foot™ Phone or $175 for a Dingleberry™ and then paying $75 a month service charge just so one can twitter. (I am referring to those that often says, "I am broke" but are out buying and paying for these things folks)
I've been keeping a close eye on the market reports, the 10/20/30 year bonds, the European Market, the Asian Market, Market in Dubai, and here in the U.S
our economy remains "BAD" amongst the big boys and girls.
Japan and Europe have declared that they are out of a recession(whether you believe it or not, it's in the reports, I always am cautious with the "reports" but for the arguments sake, let's just believe it's true)
The U.S economy remains unhopeful.
Unemployment is high, might reach 10% in a couple of month.
consumer sales index is low.
YET, the financials are making profits (think about this for a minute, if a company starts from ZERO (or about 1% debt and is 99% debt free, they ARE going to see profits!)
But the financial profit is a QUASI one (Yes, I am making a bold prediction here while I am not one of those talking heads on CNBC, I DO USE COMMONSENSE).
The banks are NOT loaning money, they've raised every charges they can think of that they can get away with legally: late fees, interest fees, and NEW fees that are unheard of in the past.
Every other day, we'd get a notice from one of our credit card companies saying this rate has increased, that rate has increased, there is a new charge for if you do this and/or that...and in the meanwhile, it's getting harder and harder to get loans for anyone including BIG businesses.
And we still haven't seen a true commercial property narket crash yet (hold on tight to your seats, folks, I can smell it coming). I believe it is coming.
most bankers and realtors I talk to believe it is coming.
Yes, there are sales of existing homes on the rise. But has anyone drove by one of those "model-home" open subdivisions? They are deader than a doorknob and they take up a big chunk of the housing market, which is related to the credit market, which is related to the consumer index, which is related to fear.
People are losing their homes and their jobs.
But nobody wants to loan, nobody wants to help. (well, they are not really nobodies, I am talking about the financing giants, Citi™, PeePee Morgan© ® ™ , "Anyone, anyone® ™")
Instead, charges are getting higher and higher and new inventive charges are coming out of the bamboo shoots.
If one goes to a hotel, check everything listed and you might be able to save $10.00 on unnecessary charges.
Airplane tickets? Make sure you read the fine prints about luggages and even your children that used to ride free. They might charge you a toe and a finger for your child (but arms and legs are coming, my friends!)
In a way, maybe it's a wake up call we desparately need...
my friends that are serving 3 years in Europe wrote me earlier that they have truly seen how we have been pampered and greedy and gluttonous here.
I love this country, but it's true....
In the past 20 years, buffet have been popping up everywhere, all you can eat and all you can waste. (before you say, Chinese Buffet is to blame, yes, it needs to take 50% of the blame, as well as Ryan's, Golden Corral, and others)
We have had an influx of "overnight" millionaires demanding over the top uses and priviledges in airlines and hotels (I worked in the hotel industry for close to two years) as well as buidling outrageously huge houses that has 6 bedroom when only two people live in it.
We've become a "me nation" everything is about "me, me, me, me, and me..."
Wait, NO, not EVERYBODY is that way. I have wonderful wonderful friends that saved every penny, pinched everything that they can.
BUT, THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW...
they are the ONES that have lost EVERYTHING, and I HURT for them....
then, there are those that continue to waste, spend, buy, and abuse drugs and alcohol when they are complaining about how broke they are. And they are on the rise....
They'll come to my door, asking me to do a simple job, then want me to pay them $20.00 for a shoddy job. But they're the ones that'll sell me a sad story, about how their mother isn't doing well or that their kids need to be fed.
these are the people that I also see at Best Buy later, buying those new gadgets; at the local grocery store, buying the 6-pack or the 20 pack.
btw, did I mentioned that all gambling stocks are doing quite well also?
Apparently, people go gamble during economic hard times when they claim that they have NO money, but will go and spend $500.00 one night on roulette wheel.
I have no problem with people that want to gamble. I like to gamble myself...but gamble with the money that one does not have never made any sense to me. Yet, it is those that are hopeful that they ARE the ones that will hit the jackpot that CLAIM that they are broke, that often frequent the casinos...
and the casinos ARE greedy. They don't care if one has no money to gamble. They will entice one with more credits than they'll ever be able to payback intheir life time, then stuck them with outrageous charges until they suck it all in...
oh, did I "Digest" again?? More like "indigestion" and I need some Pepe-le-peu Pistmal.
Back to the tech stuff....
I love the I-PODS, and I am a techno-phile...
'til this day...I still haven't plunged and gotten an I-pod yet...
I don't have problems with people wanting I-Pods. My problem remains that I'll hear these folks that own the newest games, playstation 3, Wii, X-Box 360,the newest I-phone, the blackberries, and the newest computer and then tell me how broke that they are...and I look at them and I'd look at their brand new game console in their entertainment center and their newest gadget that is hanging around their waist and I want to smack them and go, "WASSA da matta wif you!!!!!"
I don't have a problem with the "DREAM". Free enterprises and free markets and such. I don't want to tell people not to build bigger houses or have bigger yards. I encourage freedom and free thoughts. But, when I look around, and I see people suffering and hungry and are broke. The ones that have worked hard all their lives only to have their savings sucked into a blackhole, it makes me angry....
and I want to take out my ugly stick and go and whoop me some (_!_)'s<---------"THE" end....
opposisms
btw, I have found out the other day, that I often use "opposisms" also...
and while I find it funny, I am often met with blank stares by the kids.
like little dude and I were talking about toys the other day and it got on to the subject of Yo-Yo's...
and of course, it made me think of Yo-Yo Mar...
he did think that the name was funny and inquired as to who he was, I mimed it to him and made noise that I thought sounded like a cello but it sounded more like a washboard being played by Guitar Hero III ® wanna-bes...
but then, I started telling him that I knew Yo-Yo's brother, So-So Par...
he rolled his eyes side ways while he "grinned" a Mona Lisa's smile and then had one of those puzzled looks....
it's OK, I forgave him, I told him he'd get it in about 15 years and that one day, I would find myself awake in the middle of the night hearing him laugh because he would then, get my jokes....
I anxiously await that day....no, I can't wait for that day...wait, hmmmmmmm...well, that day might never come, because I am not sure if Yo-Yo Mar would still be around, but Yo-Yo's Son, might...
I wonder if his daugher would be Mimi Mar and his son would be He-He Mar...of course, let's not forget his cousin: Fifi Apr, and Gigi May.
(to be serious and In-sequitur for a moment, not sure if there is such a word as in-sequitur,but I depress, again. Yo Yo Mar, in So So Par's case, OK, slaps self, get serious....
Yo in Mar's case, means to swim. His last name, Mar, in his case, means Horse.
The chinese philosophy has a lot to do with the water. And horses were vital to their livelihoods and economy especially in ancient China, where cities and states and countries were taken by how good their horses and horsemen were.
So in Mar's case, his name means, "to swim, to swim, horse"
in Chinese, we say our last names, first.
So, it means: "horse(y), swim and swim!"
I cannot speak on Yo Yo's behalf or his parents behalf. But I think they named Yo Yo not because they wanted him to be a ball or two cylinders on a string. But that they wanted him to always swim upstream, like a horse: of course, of course....)
and while I find it funny, I am often met with blank stares by the kids.
like little dude and I were talking about toys the other day and it got on to the subject of Yo-Yo's...
and of course, it made me think of Yo-Yo Mar...
he did think that the name was funny and inquired as to who he was, I mimed it to him and made noise that I thought sounded like a cello but it sounded more like a washboard being played by Guitar Hero III ® wanna-bes...
but then, I started telling him that I knew Yo-Yo's brother, So-So Par...
he rolled his eyes side ways while he "grinned" a Mona Lisa's smile and then had one of those puzzled looks....
it's OK, I forgave him, I told him he'd get it in about 15 years and that one day, I would find myself awake in the middle of the night hearing him laugh because he would then, get my jokes....
I anxiously await that day....no, I can't wait for that day...wait, hmmmmmmm...well, that day might never come, because I am not sure if Yo-Yo Mar would still be around, but Yo-Yo's Son, might...
I wonder if his daugher would be Mimi Mar and his son would be He-He Mar...of course, let's not forget his cousin: Fifi Apr, and Gigi May.
(to be serious and In-sequitur for a moment, not sure if there is such a word as in-sequitur,but I depress, again. Yo Yo Mar, in So So Par's case, OK, slaps self, get serious....
Yo in Mar's case, means to swim. His last name, Mar, in his case, means Horse.
The chinese philosophy has a lot to do with the water. And horses were vital to their livelihoods and economy especially in ancient China, where cities and states and countries were taken by how good their horses and horsemen were.
So in Mar's case, his name means, "to swim, to swim, horse"
in Chinese, we say our last names, first.
So, it means: "horse(y), swim and swim!"
I cannot speak on Yo Yo's behalf or his parents behalf. But I think they named Yo Yo not because they wanted him to be a ball or two cylinders on a string. But that they wanted him to always swim upstream, like a horse: of course, of course....)
D Feeted
The one great thing about blogging I have come to find out, is that I can come and ramble and be personal and change my mime anytime he decides to change his routine (in case anyone is going, huh?? I am using malapropism: http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/08/speaking-of-square-pegs.html).
I have been writing the past couple of days, but mainly to myself and for myself because there ARE thoughts that SHOULD be personal. But it is always good to get it out on in one form or another. But I "digest"
This whole week, my body has finally had it with me. I have regressed.
I was quite proud of myself. After about 3 doctors have told me that I would basically be bedridden for 6-8 weeks after my surgery provided that I didn't ruin myself while I am in recovery with my tics and twitches (and then their other concern is that I would have permanent damage and then they'd have to re-cut me again) to that I was walking the next day after myself. I actually was told by da wife that I stood up and asked that my catheter be taken out the DAY of my surgery and that I went to the potty standing up(but I really don't have a good recollection of that one)
I felt quite triumphant and a bit "too" confident that I was ready to prove the world wrong.
I started doing a bit of my own rehab even though I was told to "take it easy for at least 6-8 weeks"....
now, I am NOT an idiot and I wasn't doing something crazy. But there ARE days that I would do stupid things like picking up the kids because I simply felt that good (that was the second week) to flipping the mattress because the shortfellow has had another "accident"
(right now, I am trying to kill a fruit fly infront of me because all the lights are off except for the puter screen and it is drawing this little sucker in and it is following my typing as I go and annoying the heckit outta me...and the whole house echoes of my hands clapping together to try to kill this little sucker...)
it isn't that I am an idiot, but it IS that I DO forget that I did have surgery sometimes, because I don't feel "that way"...
I stopped taking my pain medicines at the end of the second week and just decided to live with the pain. The pains were mostly referral pains although I am not sure who referred them to me. I wish they'd stop doing that. I'd rather have a hot blonde referred to me than the pain, ya know? (Just kidding, mon lovely wife[she reads here sometimes, *insert innocent smiling hubby graphic here])
but here I am, into the beginning of my fifth week, and this whole week has been crappy...
I think I've developed a "just out of surgery, extremely helpful in-laws just left, da wife is back at full time at work, back to school and two kids are driving me insane and making me dizzy and in daze" syndrome.
Let me explain (as one knows that I will already, HA!)
I didn't realize how much I'd miss my in-laws, they were here for a month. 1 week prior to my surgery and left this past Monday.
The kiddos started school last week and my mother in law has been a tremendous help in getting them ready, help picking them up (one gets out at 11:30am, the other at 3:15pm), cooking, cleaning, and a host of other things while I am told to just sit here and do nothing.
although I try to help some, I do have to admit that I DID took advantage of the fact that I DID have surgery and that the doctor DID tell me NOT to do anything (Even though I didn't listen too well) and that I DID get a bit lazy...
nothing prepared me for this past Monday's chaos.
I have been insomnic for almost two weeks now.
Now, I have always been insomnic, throughout my life. When the kids got here, I would end up going to bed early and rise early and we settled into a nice little routine, and I am NOT a man of routine. I like to eat when I want to and come and go as I please while imbruing my otherwise, very routine wife into the same free canonLESStic person that I am. I really am a bad influence, I know.
I had become a person of routine out of necessity, not wanting.
So, while my in-laws were here, I've became a man of wonton soup again...wait, I meant, wanton routine again (does anybody still use wanton? Or do they use texting like: WTS (for wonton soup for wanton?? I swear, some kid wrote an essay one time using wonton instead of wanton in one of my classes, it wasn't me, I swear!!).
My doctor's check up have given me the perfect excuse. They told me that insomnia is natural with my type of surgery.
HEY! COOL! MORE ALONE TIME TO DO WHATEVER I WANTED! WHICH IS NOTHING!!
So, there was this past Monday, August 24th, 2009, to be exact. Where I didn't slept well the night before, I got up to get the kids ready, and the next thing you know, there were milk and cereals everywhere, socks were flying and uniforms unimpressed. Shoes that didn't want to be tied and when the hair was asked to be brushed, it was used on the kitten instead...
Snots kept on coming out and won't stop and I didn't have to clue on how to stop it except to unroll a half of a whole roll of toilet tissue (we'd ran out of tissues) and stuffed it in his pocket and told him to take a couple (I even stuck out my fingers (two, to be exact) and showed him TWO sheets with my mime/stewardess impression)and blow into it when he needed.
I then asked him if he understood me which he nodded emphatically and assured me that he'd got it.
of course, he used the whole freaking half of a whole roll on our way to school in ONE blow and then told me to hold it for him as he handed me this big wad of nasty crumpled TP...then, he immediately sneezed again and before I could hand him back the "Paper, formerly known as the TP", he already wiped his nose with his elbow and then sneezed again and as I rushed to him to wipe his nose, he already used the bottom of his uniform...
ever seen sticky wiped snot on a blue navy uniform? It is VERY distinct. There was NO way to cover that, or clean that. The more I wiped on his shiny new blue navy uniform with the PFKATTP(Paper, formerly known as the TP, I just realized that the Acronym is harder than typing out the whole freakin' phrase), the worse the snots got. They got quite snooty with me....and decided to spread themselves...
not only did the snot snooted me. The TP themselves have now decided to leave a trail of "bits" around the uniform. Any kindergarten experts would take a look at his shirt and go, "yep, it's 'nother one of them daddys that wiped their kids' new blue navy uniform with toilet papers child...poor kid, he'll be scarred for life...we're gonna have to report his dad to social services now, this is considered child abuse..."
In the meanwhile, grand daughter is happily giggling picking up all the flowers on the road. And of course, she had to wear WHITE uniform that day and the red flowers left petal marks on her shirt.
Now, they are extremely cute children, and I am not bragging about that. They have faces of angels but demeanors of hellions (sometimes).
But now, they looked like a couple of children raised by the wolves(I swore I shaved that day and actually looked like a human being).
After I dropped them off, I was already extremely tired. My in laws then left and my body started to ache...
I haven't ached like that, not even since my surgery. All the referral pains decided to come a knocking. And they were referring more and more of their relatives...
and for the next few days, I slept even less/worse, got more pains, and even though my check up went well at the doctors, who assured me that my X-ray looked OK, that I am bound to have those bad days....
"Well, TOUGH SNOOTY SNOOTS!!!!!!"
I AM WHINING!!!
today, I finally came down with a fever....one that robbed me of my senses and left me as a headless horseman...yeah, I am now one of the four headless horsemen of Note Tray D' Arm"
every joint is super sensitive and every muscle aches to the touch...do the kids care?? Well, in a way, they really do....but as soon as I'd ask them to keep it down, somebody yells and screams...
as soon as I'd ask them to try and behave, they have to touch this and that...and today, of all days, I, against all rules of nature and well heeds and admonitions from da wife, stubbornly took them all to get their uniforms.
She tried putting her foot down, even her hands down and finally, the whole weight of her body
(hold on, I have to try to kill that stupid fruitfly again, it's back...)
but I wouldn't budge, because there was no chance tomorrow, it's a Sunday and most of the shops would be closed. And they really needed new uniforms...I hadn't told her about the snooty snots, yet. Nor the chocolate milk that had been spilled on a daily basis, but I have a feeling she's onto me, and the kids...but I think she just washes them without yelling at me, that's all...
so, the stubborn ole me and da wife, and two active hyper children, went shopping and it took a whole day...even da wife was exhausted, bless her heart...
then, I came home and whined and only to find out that I have had a fever all day....
and I AM COMPLAINING!!
HA!!!!
well, yeah...I am.....
because I am actually writing this out to MYSELF that I need to be more sensitive to others and that I am NOT proving anything...
I am also writing because I probably won't be able to remember what I am thinking about at the moment....and if I don't write this down, there would be no way to slap myself the next time that I come to read about myself...
but then again, each time that stupid fruitfly does a fly-by to distract me, I had already forgotten what I was going to write about, anyways....
OH!!!!!
I came to write about HOW defeated I have been feeling this whole week with my regression of my surgery/pain...
how did it ended up being about the kids again?????
I have been writing the past couple of days, but mainly to myself and for myself because there ARE thoughts that SHOULD be personal. But it is always good to get it out on in one form or another. But I "digest"
This whole week, my body has finally had it with me. I have regressed.
I was quite proud of myself. After about 3 doctors have told me that I would basically be bedridden for 6-8 weeks after my surgery provided that I didn't ruin myself while I am in recovery with my tics and twitches (and then their other concern is that I would have permanent damage and then they'd have to re-cut me again) to that I was walking the next day after myself. I actually was told by da wife that I stood up and asked that my catheter be taken out the DAY of my surgery and that I went to the potty standing up(but I really don't have a good recollection of that one)
I felt quite triumphant and a bit "too" confident that I was ready to prove the world wrong.
I started doing a bit of my own rehab even though I was told to "take it easy for at least 6-8 weeks"....
now, I am NOT an idiot and I wasn't doing something crazy. But there ARE days that I would do stupid things like picking up the kids because I simply felt that good (that was the second week) to flipping the mattress because the shortfellow has had another "accident"
(right now, I am trying to kill a fruit fly infront of me because all the lights are off except for the puter screen and it is drawing this little sucker in and it is following my typing as I go and annoying the heckit outta me...and the whole house echoes of my hands clapping together to try to kill this little sucker...)
it isn't that I am an idiot, but it IS that I DO forget that I did have surgery sometimes, because I don't feel "that way"...
I stopped taking my pain medicines at the end of the second week and just decided to live with the pain. The pains were mostly referral pains although I am not sure who referred them to me. I wish they'd stop doing that. I'd rather have a hot blonde referred to me than the pain, ya know? (Just kidding, mon lovely wife[she reads here sometimes, *insert innocent smiling hubby graphic here])
but here I am, into the beginning of my fifth week, and this whole week has been crappy...
I think I've developed a "just out of surgery, extremely helpful in-laws just left, da wife is back at full time at work, back to school and two kids are driving me insane and making me dizzy and in daze" syndrome.
Let me explain (as one knows that I will already, HA!)
I didn't realize how much I'd miss my in-laws, they were here for a month. 1 week prior to my surgery and left this past Monday.
The kiddos started school last week and my mother in law has been a tremendous help in getting them ready, help picking them up (one gets out at 11:30am, the other at 3:15pm), cooking, cleaning, and a host of other things while I am told to just sit here and do nothing.
although I try to help some, I do have to admit that I DID took advantage of the fact that I DID have surgery and that the doctor DID tell me NOT to do anything (Even though I didn't listen too well) and that I DID get a bit lazy...
nothing prepared me for this past Monday's chaos.
I have been insomnic for almost two weeks now.
Now, I have always been insomnic, throughout my life. When the kids got here, I would end up going to bed early and rise early and we settled into a nice little routine, and I am NOT a man of routine. I like to eat when I want to and come and go as I please while imbruing my otherwise, very routine wife into the same free canonLESStic person that I am. I really am a bad influence, I know.
I had become a person of routine out of necessity, not wanting.
So, while my in-laws were here, I've became a man of wonton soup again...wait, I meant, wanton routine again (does anybody still use wanton? Or do they use texting like: WTS (for wonton soup for wanton?? I swear, some kid wrote an essay one time using wonton instead of wanton in one of my classes, it wasn't me, I swear!!).
My doctor's check up have given me the perfect excuse. They told me that insomnia is natural with my type of surgery.
HEY! COOL! MORE ALONE TIME TO DO WHATEVER I WANTED! WHICH IS NOTHING!!
So, there was this past Monday, August 24th, 2009, to be exact. Where I didn't slept well the night before, I got up to get the kids ready, and the next thing you know, there were milk and cereals everywhere, socks were flying and uniforms unimpressed. Shoes that didn't want to be tied and when the hair was asked to be brushed, it was used on the kitten instead...
Snots kept on coming out and won't stop and I didn't have to clue on how to stop it except to unroll a half of a whole roll of toilet tissue (we'd ran out of tissues) and stuffed it in his pocket and told him to take a couple (I even stuck out my fingers (two, to be exact) and showed him TWO sheets with my mime/stewardess impression)and blow into it when he needed.
I then asked him if he understood me which he nodded emphatically and assured me that he'd got it.
of course, he used the whole freaking half of a whole roll on our way to school in ONE blow and then told me to hold it for him as he handed me this big wad of nasty crumpled TP...then, he immediately sneezed again and before I could hand him back the "Paper, formerly known as the TP", he already wiped his nose with his elbow and then sneezed again and as I rushed to him to wipe his nose, he already used the bottom of his uniform...
ever seen sticky wiped snot on a blue navy uniform? It is VERY distinct. There was NO way to cover that, or clean that. The more I wiped on his shiny new blue navy uniform with the PFKATTP(Paper, formerly known as the TP, I just realized that the Acronym is harder than typing out the whole freakin' phrase), the worse the snots got. They got quite snooty with me....and decided to spread themselves...
not only did the snot snooted me. The TP themselves have now decided to leave a trail of "bits" around the uniform. Any kindergarten experts would take a look at his shirt and go, "yep, it's 'nother one of them daddys that wiped their kids' new blue navy uniform with toilet papers child...poor kid, he'll be scarred for life...we're gonna have to report his dad to social services now, this is considered child abuse..."
In the meanwhile, grand daughter is happily giggling picking up all the flowers on the road. And of course, she had to wear WHITE uniform that day and the red flowers left petal marks on her shirt.
Now, they are extremely cute children, and I am not bragging about that. They have faces of angels but demeanors of hellions (sometimes).
But now, they looked like a couple of children raised by the wolves(I swore I shaved that day and actually looked like a human being).
After I dropped them off, I was already extremely tired. My in laws then left and my body started to ache...
I haven't ached like that, not even since my surgery. All the referral pains decided to come a knocking. And they were referring more and more of their relatives...
and for the next few days, I slept even less/worse, got more pains, and even though my check up went well at the doctors, who assured me that my X-ray looked OK, that I am bound to have those bad days....
"Well, TOUGH SNOOTY SNOOTS!!!!!!"
I AM WHINING!!!
today, I finally came down with a fever....one that robbed me of my senses and left me as a headless horseman...yeah, I am now one of the four headless horsemen of Note Tray D' Arm"
every joint is super sensitive and every muscle aches to the touch...do the kids care?? Well, in a way, they really do....but as soon as I'd ask them to keep it down, somebody yells and screams...
as soon as I'd ask them to try and behave, they have to touch this and that...and today, of all days, I, against all rules of nature and well heeds and admonitions from da wife, stubbornly took them all to get their uniforms.
She tried putting her foot down, even her hands down and finally, the whole weight of her body
(hold on, I have to try to kill that stupid fruitfly again, it's back...)
but I wouldn't budge, because there was no chance tomorrow, it's a Sunday and most of the shops would be closed. And they really needed new uniforms...I hadn't told her about the snooty snots, yet. Nor the chocolate milk that had been spilled on a daily basis, but I have a feeling she's onto me, and the kids...but I think she just washes them without yelling at me, that's all...
so, the stubborn ole me and da wife, and two active hyper children, went shopping and it took a whole day...even da wife was exhausted, bless her heart...
then, I came home and whined and only to find out that I have had a fever all day....
and I AM COMPLAINING!!
HA!!!!
well, yeah...I am.....
because I am actually writing this out to MYSELF that I need to be more sensitive to others and that I am NOT proving anything...
I am also writing because I probably won't be able to remember what I am thinking about at the moment....and if I don't write this down, there would be no way to slap myself the next time that I come to read about myself...
but then again, each time that stupid fruitfly does a fly-by to distract me, I had already forgotten what I was going to write about, anyways....
OH!!!!!
I came to write about HOW defeated I have been feeling this whole week with my regression of my surgery/pain...
how did it ended up being about the kids again?????
Saturday, August 22, 2009
hooroo!!!
well, it's almost 10pm, I was just re-reading some of my posts last night and I had to laugh at my odd self. Well, not laughing, grinning...more like it...
It's funny how one's brain doesn't make sense EVEN MORE after few nights of no rest and no sleep....
but it's all good.... I don't know if I would been as brave or as crazy to have written some of the things that I'd written if I wasn't so tired...
I think I will actually sleep very well tonight...
I had a date with my dear wife today. It was very nice. Just the two of us for a couple of hours...
we talked about a lot of things but it always came back to the children....
eating some salad would remind us of how one of the kids ate his/her veggies.
having some intelligent conversation that might have a "buzz" word of something the kids have said would send us laughing....
The funniest thing about the with this whole experience (I am not talking about dinner, but the life of being single, to married, to now having TWO kids)is that except for maybe a few weeks in my whole entire life, I cannot say that I have ever wanted to have children.
don't get me wrong. I kinda like them. I love them when they are other peoples'...I make the best uncle...I play with them for an hour or two and then I give them back, sweat, dirt, and all...
My biggest fear for myself when we were getting our grandkids was not just if they'll accept me. But if I'll love them like a PARENT should...
it's something that seems so easy as a given and natural yet so intangible and incomprehensible as quantum physics...
I don't have that "maternal" ....wait...paternal instinct that a lot of people have. I loved being single toward the later stage of my life and I treasure my time with my wife.
When it were just the two of us, it was like heaven on earth....freedom to do whatever and whenever and however...
but now, we have to schedule everything...including just going out to have dinner...
where it used to be we can just say, "let's go somewhere to eat tonight..."
"ok, let's go!" and off we'd went
to now, "let's go out to eat..."
"but, what about the kids??"
then, the questions of should we bring them,should we get someone to watch them, what would they eat, who do we get to eat them, I mean, watch them....
and by the time all thoughts and options have been processed, we usually just have mac and cheese...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I NOW know that I love them very much in my heart....I NOW that that they ARE my kids...
tonight, during dinner, my dear, lovely, beautiful, wonderful wife asked me: "honey, do you regret taking the children in?"
if it was 10 years ago, I might have said, "well, no...ok, but yeah, because I don't really want to have kids and you know, I really did just do this for her and that I really wish it were just the two of us, but ok, like, it's OK, ya know?"
but my answer today was: While I miss being alone with you and having alone time. I have NO regrets. I accept things just as they are, NOW....as it is...
does that mean that I don't miss having alone time with her?
Of course I do!!
But at the same time, I am reaping the benefits of trying to make a difference in two tiny human beings lives
in my heart of hearts, I deeply believe that EVERYONE matters....how can I convince myself and others that, if I don't take care of my OWN first???
I have this ideal in the back of my head that NO ONE, I mean, NO ONE, in this world...should suffer....I can't stand to read about any victims...victims of natural disasters, victims of war, victims of accidents, victims of health care....ANY victims are NOT allowed in my ideal....
so, how I can stand by my ideal if I fight that we should raise TWO lives....
So, here we go....the trek of raising two little people begun a few months ago, but with me debilated and not able to do much...
now, on my way to being healed and healthy again (hopefully)
I am going to enjoy whatever it is, just as it is....without giving up my principles, without giving up who I am. And I am hoping to my core, that this path that we've crossed, that we are in their lives and that they are in our lives is the RIGHT path...
and that in the end, we all take something away from each other...
Going to do it while I hold my wife's hand and hug two kids that deserve so much love in the world, because they have been in the system for 36 months in their lives.....
and now, they'll get to spend rest of the months of their lives with us until their independence
so, goodbye, alone time..
goodbye, alone with my wife time
hello, kids,
hello.......LIFE..........
And OH!!!!
I AM GOING TO BED!! HOOROOO!! (that what I came to post about actually initially...about the banality of my life! but once again, it ended up being digressing and non sequitur....and that, is just FINE, with me...)
It's funny how one's brain doesn't make sense EVEN MORE after few nights of no rest and no sleep....
but it's all good.... I don't know if I would been as brave or as crazy to have written some of the things that I'd written if I wasn't so tired...
I think I will actually sleep very well tonight...
I had a date with my dear wife today. It was very nice. Just the two of us for a couple of hours...
we talked about a lot of things but it always came back to the children....
eating some salad would remind us of how one of the kids ate his/her veggies.
having some intelligent conversation that might have a "buzz" word of something the kids have said would send us laughing....
The funniest thing about the with this whole experience (I am not talking about dinner, but the life of being single, to married, to now having TWO kids)is that except for maybe a few weeks in my whole entire life, I cannot say that I have ever wanted to have children.
don't get me wrong. I kinda like them. I love them when they are other peoples'...I make the best uncle...I play with them for an hour or two and then I give them back, sweat, dirt, and all...
My biggest fear for myself when we were getting our grandkids was not just if they'll accept me. But if I'll love them like a PARENT should...
it's something that seems so easy as a given and natural yet so intangible and incomprehensible as quantum physics...
I don't have that "maternal" ....wait...paternal instinct that a lot of people have. I loved being single toward the later stage of my life and I treasure my time with my wife.
When it were just the two of us, it was like heaven on earth....freedom to do whatever and whenever and however...
but now, we have to schedule everything...including just going out to have dinner...
where it used to be we can just say, "let's go somewhere to eat tonight..."
"ok, let's go!" and off we'd went
to now, "let's go out to eat..."
"but, what about the kids??"
then, the questions of should we bring them,should we get someone to watch them, what would they eat, who do we get to eat them, I mean, watch them....
and by the time all thoughts and options have been processed, we usually just have mac and cheese...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I NOW know that I love them very much in my heart....I NOW that that they ARE my kids...
tonight, during dinner, my dear, lovely, beautiful, wonderful wife asked me: "honey, do you regret taking the children in?"
if it was 10 years ago, I might have said, "well, no...ok, but yeah, because I don't really want to have kids and you know, I really did just do this for her and that I really wish it were just the two of us, but ok, like, it's OK, ya know?"
but my answer today was: While I miss being alone with you and having alone time. I have NO regrets. I accept things just as they are, NOW....as it is...
does that mean that I don't miss having alone time with her?
Of course I do!!
But at the same time, I am reaping the benefits of trying to make a difference in two tiny human beings lives
in my heart of hearts, I deeply believe that EVERYONE matters....how can I convince myself and others that, if I don't take care of my OWN first???
I have this ideal in the back of my head that NO ONE, I mean, NO ONE, in this world...should suffer....I can't stand to read about any victims...victims of natural disasters, victims of war, victims of accidents, victims of health care....ANY victims are NOT allowed in my ideal....
so, how I can stand by my ideal if I fight that we should raise TWO lives....
So, here we go....the trek of raising two little people begun a few months ago, but with me debilated and not able to do much...
now, on my way to being healed and healthy again (hopefully)
I am going to enjoy whatever it is, just as it is....without giving up my principles, without giving up who I am. And I am hoping to my core, that this path that we've crossed, that we are in their lives and that they are in our lives is the RIGHT path...
and that in the end, we all take something away from each other...
Going to do it while I hold my wife's hand and hug two kids that deserve so much love in the world, because they have been in the system for 36 months in their lives.....
and now, they'll get to spend rest of the months of their lives with us until their independence
so, goodbye, alone time..
goodbye, alone with my wife time
hello, kids,
hello.......LIFE..........
And OH!!!!
I AM GOING TO BED!! HOOROOO!! (that what I came to post about actually initially...about the banality of my life! but once again, it ended up being digressing and non sequitur....and that, is just FINE, with me...)
On the tail end of -isms....
When I first came to the states, people would often ask me, "where are you from?"
it depends on the given day and what my mood was and what country was the main one producing goods at the time.
"Where are you from?"
"I was made in Taiwan"
~~~~~~~~~~
"Where you from??"
"I was made in Japan"
~~~~~~~~~
these days, I answer, "I was made in China"
but with the way the Chinese imports have been getting such a bum rap lately, I've been saying "I was made in Mexico"
one day, I am going to be asking people:
"Why you foam??"
"I have Ray Bees" (I hope, will NOT be the answer)
it depends on the given day and what my mood was and what country was the main one producing goods at the time.
"Where are you from?"
"I was made in Taiwan"
~~~~~~~~~~
"Where you from??"
"I was made in Japan"
~~~~~~~~~
these days, I answer, "I was made in China"
but with the way the Chinese imports have been getting such a bum rap lately, I've been saying "I was made in Mexico"
one day, I am going to be asking people:
"Why you foam??"
"I have Ray Bees" (I hope, will NOT be the answer)
Friday, August 21, 2009
speaking of square pegs....
I often find myself quite strange, and don't fit...
I guess it's not as uncommon amongst human beings vs what I thought was uniquely mine years ago...
my self-esteem is doing pretty good so I am NOT feeling BAD about being strange and weird anymore...and I like that(the NOT feeling Bad part, that is)...
but, I still feel STRANGE and DON'T FIT...not in a negative way...just that I am STRANGE...and I really DO ponder and cogitate about my SANITY sometimes....
I think about a lot of odd things...for example, my post about fazed book and mime space. Who in their normal minds would think about stuff like that?
I have been told that I am funny but I really don't think I am...while I DO crack myself up, I often thought my brand of humor odd and out of place...
And I do often wonder, who in their RIGHT mind WOULD think that I am funny?? When I post about weird stuff(which is almost everything), I am often intrigued and flattered whenever people would think that I am funny...
but the part that I am most appreciative of all, is that I DON'T feel too strange whenever I get such a message. I then feel like, hey, there's at least ONE person out there, that GETS me!! And that really makes me feel like I am NOT alone...
And luckily, quite a few people have been getting me...
(my wife is one of my biggest fans, she laughs at almost anything that I say...LOL)
my dad was quite humorous, but because of our broken relationship, I really never appreciated his humor until.... posthumously...(it's quite an irony the way that last part sounded)
I am big into malapropism (some might call it Dogberryism or acyrologia)...
Archie Bunker used it a lot as well as Gilda Radner...
(case in point, or point in case, I like to use "Arching Bonkers" and I love Bawawa Wawa)
I often in my writings can't help but use Malapropism...such as using "rectumfy" instead of "rectify"
I also am big into Eggcornism...
I love saying "Ewe Knighted Steaks of a Merry Car" and when I say that out loud in a conversation. I usually just get the blank stares but I love it...LOL
the great thing about malapropism and eggcornism, for me, is that they never really get old. I can read the same phrase again and again and find it funny each time. While I may NOT laugh as loud each time. I would still smile...
I also like to use "Trademarknisms" LOL
like if I was to write something that has been Registered, copyrighted, or trademarked, I usually would include the symbols behind it.
such as, "the sky was so blew two date, it brought out the twinkies® in Hurr I's" (a hybrid of mal, egg,and trade-isms[I said -ism, not -ist...don't YOU -ist me!!])
today, I was joking around with some good friends (a bunch of women who were claiming that they are NOT pregnant as GOOD news...)
I was very tempted to use "Good Juice" or "Good Jews" but wondered if that would offend a Florida Orange grower or one of my dear Jewish friends...
I try not to offend. I pick on my own accent and my own ethnic background..I know there are people very sensitive to that.
My brothers, for example, are quite sensitive to the ethnic jokes of Asians where it doesn't bother me.
Fluctuations...doesn't bother me.
Flied Lice? Funny to me
I am self-defecating...yes...I am....
but I digest...
I can totally turn some master piece literature into bastard pizza crap and I've done it. Maybe I'll be grave enough to sheer them one day....at least, I'll a mouse myself with it...LOL
I even use ethnic acronymism sometimes...
such as LOL (which means laugh out loud), I have in the past, used ROR (because I find it funny that a lot of Asians use "R" instead of "L" and I would use ROR for Raugh out roud, don't get annoyed yet, my own mother does that and you don't think I'd pick on my mother, would you?)
the truth of the matter is, that it IS true...that people DO have accents and that they ARE funny...I don't think it is funny when we pick on them DIRECTLY, now, that WOULD be cruel....and I would never do that, not even behind their backs...
I do think it is funny when it is generalized, though and I would never NAME somebody directly in my teases unless I know they are comfortable with it.
Anyways, that's my own comfort level. I am NOT here to offend anyone...and if anyone feels offended. Please feel free to turn me off...LOL
anyways, back to my friends, that group of haughty women...LOLOL
as they were saying that them being NOT pregnant being "good news"
I had wrote that I was pregnant and that's good news...
I also played around with "Octo-mom" you know, that lady with Octopus...I mean, Octuplets... I've likened her more like a Squid-mom....
I called myself "Hexa-dad" cause I would be given birth to Hexagons....LMAO....
I guess I'll post part of what I wrote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am pregnant with hexagons
I have already been contacted for a reality show:
" Hexa-dad, life with voodoo children!!"
the producers told me that I will become a very IMPOTENT person and then have two more children so that I will rival "Kong and Cake Plus Ate!!"
How's that for binary great news!! (well, if you count each -gons as one...then, it's hepatary news!!)
My producers also told me that my show will be on "Prime Time" on ABC opposite
"Squid Mom" and "Kong and Cake plus Ate"
da wife and I have already named all six kids:
"Line" we're hoping he/she will walk straight and fine
"Two Sided" we have a feeling he/she will be wishy washy
"Triangle" we think he/she will be a biologist that likes to dissect or maybe a Chemist that will create some new drug "High Pot Noose"
"Square" whose middle name will be "Peg" (but hopefully will not be "Married, with Children" for a long long time!)
"Pentagon" we have high hopes for, that he/she will be the next President of the You Knighted Stakes of A Merry Car...(at least a General)
"Hexagon" this is the one we're going to have to worry about while we hide all dolls and pins from him/her...
to top it all off, we're getting a parrot that we'll be naming: Polly-gon
Ti-Vo, DVR, VCR(if you're old school)
we're hoping for highest beratings in our time splot....
my OB/URL (obstetrician/Urologist)has informed that I am on my third semester and it all looks good. The Amoebacentesis came out well...all the chrome platesomes look good and and amnesiatic fluids are fine.
The children will be very forgetful, it seems, but that might be a plus...
he's also assured me that the birth won't be too painful like the kidney stones....and that's a HUGE plus pour moi...whew...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, that's HOW weird I think I am....but it best describes my brain and how it woks...LOL (yeah, I said woks instead of works, relax, will ya?)
alrighty, it's almost 3am and I am in desparate need to find a way to get some sleep...these sleepless nights aren't great for someone who needs a lot of rest post surgery....LOL
another yak, another night...til then, hoppy trailers, again...(see, I can't sto(o)p...)
I guess it's not as uncommon amongst human beings vs what I thought was uniquely mine years ago...
my self-esteem is doing pretty good so I am NOT feeling BAD about being strange and weird anymore...and I like that(the NOT feeling Bad part, that is)...
but, I still feel STRANGE and DON'T FIT...not in a negative way...just that I am STRANGE...and I really DO ponder and cogitate about my SANITY sometimes....
I think about a lot of odd things...for example, my post about fazed book and mime space. Who in their normal minds would think about stuff like that?
I have been told that I am funny but I really don't think I am...while I DO crack myself up, I often thought my brand of humor odd and out of place...
And I do often wonder, who in their RIGHT mind WOULD think that I am funny?? When I post about weird stuff(which is almost everything), I am often intrigued and flattered whenever people would think that I am funny...
but the part that I am most appreciative of all, is that I DON'T feel too strange whenever I get such a message. I then feel like, hey, there's at least ONE person out there, that GETS me!! And that really makes me feel like I am NOT alone...
And luckily, quite a few people have been getting me...
(my wife is one of my biggest fans, she laughs at almost anything that I say...LOL)
my dad was quite humorous, but because of our broken relationship, I really never appreciated his humor until.... posthumously...(it's quite an irony the way that last part sounded)
I am big into malapropism (some might call it Dogberryism or acyrologia)...
Archie Bunker used it a lot as well as Gilda Radner...
(case in point, or point in case, I like to use "Arching Bonkers" and I love Bawawa Wawa)
I often in my writings can't help but use Malapropism...such as using "rectumfy" instead of "rectify"
I also am big into Eggcornism...
I love saying "Ewe Knighted Steaks of a Merry Car" and when I say that out loud in a conversation. I usually just get the blank stares but I love it...LOL
the great thing about malapropism and eggcornism, for me, is that they never really get old. I can read the same phrase again and again and find it funny each time. While I may NOT laugh as loud each time. I would still smile...
I also like to use "Trademarknisms" LOL
like if I was to write something that has been Registered, copyrighted, or trademarked, I usually would include the symbols behind it.
such as, "the sky was so blew two date, it brought out the twinkies® in Hurr I's" (a hybrid of mal, egg,and trade-isms[I said -ism, not -ist...don't YOU -ist me!!])
today, I was joking around with some good friends (a bunch of women who were claiming that they are NOT pregnant as GOOD news...)
I was very tempted to use "Good Juice" or "Good Jews" but wondered if that would offend a Florida Orange grower or one of my dear Jewish friends...
I try not to offend. I pick on my own accent and my own ethnic background..I know there are people very sensitive to that.
My brothers, for example, are quite sensitive to the ethnic jokes of Asians where it doesn't bother me.
Fluctuations...doesn't bother me.
Flied Lice? Funny to me
I am self-defecating...yes...I am....
but I digest...
I can totally turn some master piece literature into bastard pizza crap and I've done it. Maybe I'll be grave enough to sheer them one day....at least, I'll a mouse myself with it...LOL
I even use ethnic acronymism sometimes...
such as LOL (which means laugh out loud), I have in the past, used ROR (because I find it funny that a lot of Asians use "R" instead of "L" and I would use ROR for Raugh out roud, don't get annoyed yet, my own mother does that and you don't think I'd pick on my mother, would you?)
the truth of the matter is, that it IS true...that people DO have accents and that they ARE funny...I don't think it is funny when we pick on them DIRECTLY, now, that WOULD be cruel....and I would never do that, not even behind their backs...
I do think it is funny when it is generalized, though and I would never NAME somebody directly in my teases unless I know they are comfortable with it.
Anyways, that's my own comfort level. I am NOT here to offend anyone...and if anyone feels offended. Please feel free to turn me off...LOL
anyways, back to my friends, that group of haughty women...LOLOL
as they were saying that them being NOT pregnant being "good news"
I had wrote that I was pregnant and that's good news...
I also played around with "Octo-mom" you know, that lady with Octopus...I mean, Octuplets... I've likened her more like a Squid-mom....
I called myself "Hexa-dad" cause I would be given birth to Hexagons....LMAO....
I guess I'll post part of what I wrote:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am pregnant with hexagons
I have already been contacted for a reality show:
" Hexa-dad, life with voodoo children!!"
the producers told me that I will become a very IMPOTENT person and then have two more children so that I will rival "Kong and Cake Plus Ate!!"
How's that for binary great news!! (well, if you count each -gons as one...then, it's hepatary news!!)
My producers also told me that my show will be on "Prime Time" on ABC opposite
"Squid Mom" and "Kong and Cake plus Ate"
da wife and I have already named all six kids:
"Line" we're hoping he/she will walk straight and fine
"Two Sided" we have a feeling he/she will be wishy washy
"Triangle" we think he/she will be a biologist that likes to dissect or maybe a Chemist that will create some new drug "High Pot Noose"
"Square" whose middle name will be "Peg" (but hopefully will not be "Married, with Children" for a long long time!)
"Pentagon" we have high hopes for, that he/she will be the next President of the You Knighted Stakes of A Merry Car...(at least a General)
"Hexagon" this is the one we're going to have to worry about while we hide all dolls and pins from him/her...
to top it all off, we're getting a parrot that we'll be naming: Polly-gon
Ti-Vo, DVR, VCR(if you're old school)
we're hoping for highest beratings in our time splot....
my OB/URL (obstetrician/Urologist)has informed that I am on my third semester and it all looks good. The Amoebacentesis came out well...all the chrome platesomes look good and and amnesiatic fluids are fine.
The children will be very forgetful, it seems, but that might be a plus...
he's also assured me that the birth won't be too painful like the kidney stones....and that's a HUGE plus pour moi...whew...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, that's HOW weird I think I am....but it best describes my brain and how it woks...LOL (yeah, I said woks instead of works, relax, will ya?)
alrighty, it's almost 3am and I am in desparate need to find a way to get some sleep...these sleepless nights aren't great for someone who needs a lot of rest post surgery....LOL
another yak, another night...til then, hoppy trailers, again...(see, I can't sto(o)p...)
Da Vinci and Square Pegs...
it's funny I was writing and using square pegs today...then, I went to a dear friend's blog today and read about square pegs also.( I hope she'll know that this post isn't direct at her and she is truly wonderful writer and unique with a lot of deep thoughts)
it all started years ago when I got fascinated with Leonardo (not Leonardo, Decapitated, the actor, it's da Vinci, the genius that I am fascinated with). I mean, who wouldn't BE fascinated with Leonardo da Vinci??
I saw Mona Lisa in person when I visited the Louvre. While it intrigued me, it wasn't my favorite piece or even top 10 of Leonardo's work.
Many of his other works are what intrigue me. One of the main one being, The Vitruvian Man.
I don't want to get into the "Canon of Proportions" of it. There are many more erudites out there that have tons of scholarly qualifications than I am so I'll let them sound off on it...
my own observation(s) has always been the square and the circle that surrounded the dude inside...
the square isn't quite fitted into the circle...yet, it IS considered inscribed in the circle.
I know da Vinci was a bit lonely....all geniuses seem to share that common theme. They are usually very lonely.
don't get me wrong. They are usually very respected and looked up upon. But they seem to share a common theme. They usually are alone...to themselves...
Beethoven is another that comes to mind but that's for another time and another day...
I wonder if da Vinci ever felt like he's a square peg trying to fit into a round circle.
Not that the he knew the term "square peg", mind you....
but does square peg have to be isolated to the English language alone?
In quite a few cultures, I have seen references of people using similar terms (feelings)like a square that don't fit into a circle.
first of all, interestingly enough. I can't recall seeing anybody feeling like they're ROUNDED that can't fit into a square.
it's all about being a square, something with edges and straight line...
very interesting....
I think it's probably because we often associate "perfection" without edges nor lines. And a circle, that is continuous and round and "pretty" is not something that most of us would associate ourselves with.
But what's even more interesting, is that most of us would choose a "Square" to represent ourselves....
not a triangle, nor a pentagon...
but squares.... associated with the number 4...yet 3 seems to be the most popular number in the world....
aha! I just had a lightbulb moment, "3" is popular, and "4" isn't!! Maybe I stumbled onto something???
it begs some deeper thoughts, I guess...I have no answers...just thought it was interesting...
but, the Virtuvian man IS thought to be perfect...shape, form, proportion, and I wonder WHO did da Vinci based that on?? I wonder if THAT particular "model" had thought himself a circle instead of a square? If so, how did he do it?
OK, back to Mona Lisa for a sec...
there's all the debates about if it was a self-portrait, if it was truly the portrait of Lisa Gheradini, if da Vinci was gay, if the painting was a joke, if it had a hidden message.
I'll let the experts debate about that...seeing it in person, I saw a lot of flaws of the painting and to be honest, for me, it wasn't his BEST work...
but it IS intriguing...THAT smile...
it's a bit...squarish...(and we often think of lips being round...)
how about that???
so, I guess it's meant to be that I finally put my thoughts on square pegs on cyber ink
It's something that I have been thinking about throughout a big part of my life.it all started years ago when I got fascinated with Leonardo (not Leonardo, Decapitated, the actor, it's da Vinci, the genius that I am fascinated with). I mean, who wouldn't BE fascinated with Leonardo da Vinci??
I saw Mona Lisa in person when I visited the Louvre. While it intrigued me, it wasn't my favorite piece or even top 10 of Leonardo's work.
Many of his other works are what intrigue me. One of the main one being, The Vitruvian Man.
I don't want to get into the "Canon of Proportions" of it. There are many more erudites out there that have tons of scholarly qualifications than I am so I'll let them sound off on it...
my own observation(s) has always been the square and the circle that surrounded the dude inside...
the square isn't quite fitted into the circle...yet, it IS considered inscribed in the circle.
I know da Vinci was a bit lonely....all geniuses seem to share that common theme. They are usually very lonely.
don't get me wrong. They are usually very respected and looked up upon. But they seem to share a common theme. They usually are alone...to themselves...
Beethoven is another that comes to mind but that's for another time and another day...
I wonder if da Vinci ever felt like he's a square peg trying to fit into a round circle.
Not that the he knew the term "square peg", mind you....
but does square peg have to be isolated to the English language alone?
In quite a few cultures, I have seen references of people using similar terms (feelings)like a square that don't fit into a circle.
first of all, interestingly enough. I can't recall seeing anybody feeling like they're ROUNDED that can't fit into a square.
it's all about being a square, something with edges and straight line...
very interesting....
I think it's probably because we often associate "perfection" without edges nor lines. And a circle, that is continuous and round and "pretty" is not something that most of us would associate ourselves with.
But what's even more interesting, is that most of us would choose a "Square" to represent ourselves....
not a triangle, nor a pentagon...
but squares.... associated with the number 4...yet 3 seems to be the most popular number in the world....
aha! I just had a lightbulb moment, "3" is popular, and "4" isn't!! Maybe I stumbled onto something???
it begs some deeper thoughts, I guess...I have no answers...just thought it was interesting...
but, the Virtuvian man IS thought to be perfect...shape, form, proportion, and I wonder WHO did da Vinci based that on?? I wonder if THAT particular "model" had thought himself a circle instead of a square? If so, how did he do it?
OK, back to Mona Lisa for a sec...
there's all the debates about if it was a self-portrait, if it was truly the portrait of Lisa Gheradini, if da Vinci was gay, if the painting was a joke, if it had a hidden message.
I'll let the experts debate about that...seeing it in person, I saw a lot of flaws of the painting and to be honest, for me, it wasn't his BEST work...
but it IS intriguing...THAT smile...
it's a bit...squarish...(and we often think of lips being round...)
how about that???
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Why Do I Blab (blog)??
Ok, it's like 1:30am and I am still wide awake, this stupid hunger/insomnia is driving me crazy...
I just ate THREE bananas...THREE...
wait a minute, I didn't post this to talk about bananas and my hunger!!
Why do I blab(blog)??
For some reason, I have made quite a bit of friends on and over the internet...
that plus families and friends that live long distances from us, makes emails very appealing...
except for ONE thing....
I am a lazy emailer...
if there was a job created for me to DELIEVER "EMAILS", I would be lazy...I would go POSTAL...or maybe Coastal, since I like the beach and stuff....
I am not sure how I got so lucky, but quite a bit of my friends really want to know how I am or how my family is doing.
and I am not one of those 3 sentences typers (nothing wrong with that, btw)....I am one of those I have to write a whole story from when I woke up to brush my teeth to how many kernels of corn I ate...to unlawful carnal knowledge...
and next thing you know, I'd written a book....to just ONE person....
then, I'd type things out again to the next, and the next....
then, I said to myself, heckit, I would just send out MASS emails...but I HATE doing that...
because sometimes, when I choose the contacts, I would even select the names of people that didn't ask about me, thinking that they'd be interested, and next thing I know, I'd get an email from them, "what?? huh?? who are you??"
LOL.....
I have been encouraged to blog quite a few times in the past few years....but never one to succumb to Facebook, Myspace, tweeter, I figured blogging is kind of like the same thing and ignored it for years...
although I do enjoy other people's blogs whenever they'd send me theirs...
I also have a tendency to let it all out....I am a no holds barred kinda dude....I mean, don't get me wrong, I AM a private person....but my emotions, as I write, comes out easily...
if I am PO'ed, you'd know it....if I am sad, you'd know it, if I am happy, you'd know it...if I am hungry, you'd know it!!
So, I questioned myself, do I want to blog, and talk about myself and do people really want to know that I am always hungry at 2am????
And do people really want to read my blab?? blab blab blab??
but then it konged on me...
it's better than mass emails....I simply include my blog at the end of my emails as my signature, and if people want to know what's going on, they can just click on my blab and read about it.
That takes care of the mass emails problem a bit...although it does seem like I am shamelessly advertizing my blogs....LOL
I really am not....I just am flattered that I have garnered enough interest from folks that truly care about me to want to know what's going on in my life....
and so, I am promoting my blog...
yes, that makes me indolent to the core....but it's easier for me and my friends...
don't get me wrong, I still will write personal emails....but if they want to know about me, I can most often than not, just point them to my blab...
but why TWO blogs...
this blog really is about my daily whimsical none sense. I didn't know that my life IS none sense until I started blogging....I am finding out more and more that I am not a normal person and that I am quite weird....
so, I needed a counter blog, one that includes my writings that reflects more of my journey in life and how I got here vs this blog here that just goes on and on and on about...nothing...
do I digress? OFTEN!
do I DIGEST!! well, after three bananas, I think I am digesting VERY well...but I am STILL hungry.......
you know that Simon and Car's Funk old song? "Stir crazy after all these ears??"
I am still hungry after all these blabs....
well, it's good to get this thought out....
I just ate THREE bananas...THREE...
wait a minute, I didn't post this to talk about bananas and my hunger!!
Why do I blab(blog)??
For some reason, I have made quite a bit of friends on and over the internet...
that plus families and friends that live long distances from us, makes emails very appealing...
except for ONE thing....
I am a lazy emailer...
if there was a job created for me to DELIEVER "EMAILS", I would be lazy...I would go POSTAL...or maybe Coastal, since I like the beach and stuff....
I am not sure how I got so lucky, but quite a bit of my friends really want to know how I am or how my family is doing.
and I am not one of those 3 sentences typers (nothing wrong with that, btw)....I am one of those I have to write a whole story from when I woke up to brush my teeth to how many kernels of corn I ate...to unlawful carnal knowledge...
and next thing you know, I'd written a book....to just ONE person....
then, I'd type things out again to the next, and the next....
then, I said to myself, heckit, I would just send out MASS emails...but I HATE doing that...
because sometimes, when I choose the contacts, I would even select the names of people that didn't ask about me, thinking that they'd be interested, and next thing I know, I'd get an email from them, "what?? huh?? who are you??"
LOL.....
I have been encouraged to blog quite a few times in the past few years....but never one to succumb to Facebook, Myspace, tweeter, I figured blogging is kind of like the same thing and ignored it for years...
although I do enjoy other people's blogs whenever they'd send me theirs...
I also have a tendency to let it all out....I am a no holds barred kinda dude....I mean, don't get me wrong, I AM a private person....but my emotions, as I write, comes out easily...
if I am PO'ed, you'd know it....if I am sad, you'd know it, if I am happy, you'd know it...if I am hungry, you'd know it!!
So, I questioned myself, do I want to blog, and talk about myself and do people really want to know that I am always hungry at 2am????
And do people really want to read my blab?? blab blab blab??
but then it konged on me...
it's better than mass emails....I simply include my blog at the end of my emails as my signature, and if people want to know what's going on, they can just click on my blab and read about it.
That takes care of the mass emails problem a bit...although it does seem like I am shamelessly advertizing my blogs....LOL
I really am not....I just am flattered that I have garnered enough interest from folks that truly care about me to want to know what's going on in my life....
and so, I am promoting my blog...
yes, that makes me indolent to the core....but it's easier for me and my friends...
don't get me wrong, I still will write personal emails....but if they want to know about me, I can most often than not, just point them to my blab...
but why TWO blogs...
this blog really is about my daily whimsical none sense. I didn't know that my life IS none sense until I started blogging....I am finding out more and more that I am not a normal person and that I am quite weird....
so, I needed a counter blog, one that includes my writings that reflects more of my journey in life and how I got here vs this blog here that just goes on and on and on about...nothing...
do I digress? OFTEN!
do I DIGEST!! well, after three bananas, I think I am digesting VERY well...but I am STILL hungry.......
you know that Simon and Car's Funk old song? "Stir crazy after all these ears??"
I am still hungry after all these blabs....
well, it's good to get this thought out....
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
stop "-ist" me!!!!
has anyone noticed that there are a lot of -ists these days??
I always seem to be a magnet for these "-ists"...
opening the door for a woman , got glared by a feminist (would call her a lady but might get decked)
terrified of flying, because of the terrorists...
need to get some medicine, need a pharmacist..
they can't make the drugs, without a chemist...
he said white powDer? Was called a racist...
getting work 2/3rd done, sneered by a perfectionist...
accidentally stared at a girl's boobs, coined as a sexist... (was really looking at her pin, honIst!!)
I'd like to slap her silly, but that would make me a chauvinist...
thought I'd head to the beach, to think about being an empiracalist...
tried to fly a kite, laughed by a physicist...
maybe not empirical, more of a transcendentalist...
grew some grey hair, looked down by an ageist...
that really gets my go, I am now his antagonist
as I age I am told, go see a protoclogist...
aye yi yi, remind me not to be a scatologist...
those California fires, started by arsonist(s)....
the gov't ridiculed , by the cartoonist(s)....
some don't consider them, true artist(s)
who the critics think they are? bunch of no good elitist(s)
I had a roommate, who was a facist
he protested a lot, and was an activist
what used to be communists...are now called socialists....
I tried to very hard to avoid, I tried hard to res-ist...
but never could I, run from these pain in the ass-ists....
and wouldn't you know it, I'd never be forunate enough....
because I have never been able, to run into a nudist...
(these are the kind of things I think of at 4:30am when I am hungry and don't want to eat anything in the fridge and am refusing to take my pain medicines...LOL)
(should I put a copy right on this one?? what the heckit...
(© 2009 : Ed F.) (written today, right now, dammit...)
I always seem to be a magnet for these "-ists"...
opening the door for a woman , got glared by a feminist (would call her a lady but might get decked)
terrified of flying, because of the terrorists...
need to get some medicine, need a pharmacist..
they can't make the drugs, without a chemist...
he said white powDer? Was called a racist...
getting work 2/3rd done, sneered by a perfectionist...
accidentally stared at a girl's boobs, coined as a sexist... (was really looking at her pin, honIst!!)
I'd like to slap her silly, but that would make me a chauvinist...
thought I'd head to the beach, to think about being an empiracalist...
tried to fly a kite, laughed by a physicist...
maybe not empirical, more of a transcendentalist...
grew some grey hair, looked down by an ageist...
that really gets my go, I am now his antagonist
as I age I am told, go see a protoclogist...
aye yi yi, remind me not to be a scatologist...
those California fires, started by arsonist(s)....
the gov't ridiculed , by the cartoonist(s)....
some don't consider them, true artist(s)
who the critics think they are? bunch of no good elitist(s)
I had a roommate, who was a facist
he protested a lot, and was an activist
what used to be communists...are now called socialists....
I tried to very hard to avoid, I tried hard to res-ist...
but never could I, run from these pain in the ass-ists....
and wouldn't you know it, I'd never be forunate enough....
because I have never been able, to run into a nudist...
(these are the kind of things I think of at 4:30am when I am hungry and don't want to eat anything in the fridge and am refusing to take my pain medicines...LOL)
(should I put a copy right on this one?? what the heckit...
(© 2009 : Ed F.) (written today, right now, dammit...)
Starve Trek...the Necks Generalization...
Yule Log: 8-19-2009, 3:50am
it's quiet and all through the house...
not a sound of cockroach
not even a mouse...
OK, OK, OK...
that really made no sense but it did to me...
I just got back from my umpteenth trip to "la fridge" and "le pantry"
by now, I know everything that's in my ice box and cabinets....
it's full of stuff....from A-Z....
and I am STARVING...
yet, I don't want anything that we have!!
I love nuts, we've got nuts; I love yogurt, we've got yogurt; I love leftovers, we've got leftovers!
we've got everything that I love to eat. Da wife and da mother and da mother in law made sure that everything is well stocked just for me! They even went out of their ways to make pies, cookies, whatever that I might crave for, for me!!
yet, I've gotten to the point of finicky, just like our cat lillie....
My throat is still pretty closed up from my surgery and I still choke up pretty much on anything bigger than a grain of rice.
But, the stomach has a mind of its own...it wants to eat.... yet, it wants NOTHING that we have...
how did I become this way? That there are tons of foods in the house yet I desire something that we don't have??
That's NOT me!! Is it??
~~~~~~~~
Pecan Log: somewhere in 1990...
I was a poor college student....
when I was living at home, I wouldn't touched left-overs...I despised it...
while we were not rich, my mother never deprived any food from her babies...she fed us all the time...
but in college, where I lived with lazy roommates, I had to get quite creative...especially making one meal last 3 meals...
left-overs thus became my favorite meals....because I knew what they were, and how they were going to taste(I learned how to cook or buy foods that would taste good as left-overs).
nothing was wasted. Even after finishing orange juice, I'd cut up the box and "scrape" the juice that were sticking to the carton and would "lick" it off...
left over mayos? Never...I got inventive on how to get them out...wrapping a clean paper towel onto a chopstick with rubberbands....then, I'd rub the paper towel over the bread...
(OK, I may be exaggerating a little bit here, but really, I came up with inventive ways to scrape everything...)
~~~~~~~~~~
Log(arithm): 8-19-09 4:02am...
I am sitting here with my stomach growling...I shouldn't be so picky...but I am about to get up again, to go and "see" what's in the fridge. I don't think it's changed since the last time I checked it...but I am still going to go try my luck...
because somewhere, in the back of my head where it absolutely makes NO sense....
I am hoping for a miracle...A MIRACLE WHIP, that is...
to be honest...I am really craving Kentucky's Fried Chicken right now....I need something Southern, Fried, and Greasey...
I am tired of eating puddings and foods that are made for babies or old people...I want REAL food...
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
how did I become this way, is this going to be the value I'll be passing down to our grandkids? Is this how I will teach them to eat?
When there are starving Children in Japan (think Weird Al,LOL) and England? (or is it somewhere else?)
that's sad.....for I've become what I despised.....
hmmmm...doesn't Spock's ear look like Pig's ears?? I like Pig's ears...they say there is nothing on a pig that can't be eaten...hmmmmmmmmmmmm............
oh Spo-aaaack!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chocolate log: now....
I AM kind of craving some kind of sweet stuff, right now...
I am not big on Chocolates but I am craving a big ole chocolate cake or log...
my neck is kind of bothering me...
I hurt myself playing charade the other day...LOL of all things...charade...
then, I coughed so hard that I think I might have coughed a screw or two loose in my neck...
it's funny when I look at myself...it looks like I've had my head cut off...some days, it does feel that way....
It's not a great feeling, but I'll get better, I am not worried about that...there are people going through much greater pains and turmoils than I am...
and they may NOT have food to eat....
I should donate everything we have to the world hungry organization and let myself really starve for a few days....
and go back to the way that I was...that I would eat anything in sight vs. being so picky....
Gosh, I can't stand myself right now....I just got back from the fridge...NOTHING's changed...
I am so tempted to get out our fryer and our frozen chicken legs and eggs and flour and seasoning and cook myself some nice juicy greasy friend chickeM....
I might just sneak out tomorrow noon and get me some legs....and some wings....and some biscuits slopped with gravy and mashed taters slopped with gravy....
why am I typing this out? I am making myself more hungry!! AARRRGGGHHHHHH...
OK, back to the fridge I goeth...wish me luck!!
it's quiet and all through the house...
not a sound of cockroach
not even a mouse...
OK, OK, OK...
that really made no sense but it did to me...
I just got back from my umpteenth trip to "la fridge" and "le pantry"
by now, I know everything that's in my ice box and cabinets....
it's full of stuff....from A-Z....
and I am STARVING...
yet, I don't want anything that we have!!
I love nuts, we've got nuts; I love yogurt, we've got yogurt; I love leftovers, we've got leftovers!
we've got everything that I love to eat. Da wife and da mother and da mother in law made sure that everything is well stocked just for me! They even went out of their ways to make pies, cookies, whatever that I might crave for, for me!!
yet, I've gotten to the point of finicky, just like our cat lillie....
My throat is still pretty closed up from my surgery and I still choke up pretty much on anything bigger than a grain of rice.
But, the stomach has a mind of its own...it wants to eat.... yet, it wants NOTHING that we have...
how did I become this way? That there are tons of foods in the house yet I desire something that we don't have??
That's NOT me!! Is it??
~~~~~~~~
Pecan Log: somewhere in 1990...
I was a poor college student....
when I was living at home, I wouldn't touched left-overs...I despised it...
while we were not rich, my mother never deprived any food from her babies...she fed us all the time...
but in college, where I lived with lazy roommates, I had to get quite creative...especially making one meal last 3 meals...
left-overs thus became my favorite meals....because I knew what they were, and how they were going to taste(I learned how to cook or buy foods that would taste good as left-overs).
nothing was wasted. Even after finishing orange juice, I'd cut up the box and "scrape" the juice that were sticking to the carton and would "lick" it off...
left over mayos? Never...I got inventive on how to get them out...wrapping a clean paper towel onto a chopstick with rubberbands....then, I'd rub the paper towel over the bread...
(OK, I may be exaggerating a little bit here, but really, I came up with inventive ways to scrape everything...)
~~~~~~~~~~
Log(arithm): 8-19-09 4:02am...
I am sitting here with my stomach growling...I shouldn't be so picky...but I am about to get up again, to go and "see" what's in the fridge. I don't think it's changed since the last time I checked it...but I am still going to go try my luck...
because somewhere, in the back of my head where it absolutely makes NO sense....
I am hoping for a miracle...A MIRACLE WHIP, that is...
to be honest...I am really craving Kentucky's Fried Chicken right now....I need something Southern, Fried, and Greasey...
I am tired of eating puddings and foods that are made for babies or old people...I want REAL food...
waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
how did I become this way, is this going to be the value I'll be passing down to our grandkids? Is this how I will teach them to eat?
When there are starving Children in Japan (think Weird Al,LOL) and England? (or is it somewhere else?)
that's sad.....for I've become what I despised.....
hmmmm...doesn't Spock's ear look like Pig's ears?? I like Pig's ears...they say there is nothing on a pig that can't be eaten...hmmmmmmmmmmmm............
oh Spo-aaaack!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chocolate log: now....
I AM kind of craving some kind of sweet stuff, right now...
I am not big on Chocolates but I am craving a big ole chocolate cake or log...
my neck is kind of bothering me...
I hurt myself playing charade the other day...LOL of all things...charade...
then, I coughed so hard that I think I might have coughed a screw or two loose in my neck...
it's funny when I look at myself...it looks like I've had my head cut off...some days, it does feel that way....
It's not a great feeling, but I'll get better, I am not worried about that...there are people going through much greater pains and turmoils than I am...
and they may NOT have food to eat....
I should donate everything we have to the world hungry organization and let myself really starve for a few days....
and go back to the way that I was...that I would eat anything in sight vs. being so picky....
Gosh, I can't stand myself right now....I just got back from the fridge...NOTHING's changed...
I am so tempted to get out our fryer and our frozen chicken legs and eggs and flour and seasoning and cook myself some nice juicy greasy friend chickeM....
I might just sneak out tomorrow noon and get me some legs....and some wings....and some biscuits slopped with gravy and mashed taters slopped with gravy....
why am I typing this out? I am making myself more hungry!! AARRRGGGHHHHHH...
OK, back to the fridge I goeth...wish me luck!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Whew
I started writing tonight a bit about low-self esteem...
not for myself...but for my former self...and maybe...for others that might bother to read it...
I started off light-hearted and candid and wanting to set a tone that low-self esteem is not uncommon and that I wanted to address it head on and without deterrents and that I have finally conquered the issue (although NOT fully, but at least 2/3rds)
as I wrote, I began to realize how much it affected me...my past...as the memories resurfaced, it was not just about the low-self esteems but also about my family dynamics and how it all came together and how it fell apart in the first place.
there are no words for them. Well, yes, there could be words for them but it could take years to get every feeling and cross-roads written and dissected and I am not sure even myself would enjoy that...
when I got to the part about my father...I had to think about it very hard....
he's been gone 6 years now....he passed away in July, 6 years ago....
I had to be honest....but I don't want to bad mouth him...he was just as much of a victim as I was....
well, I say victim but we are usually only victims of ourselves and our own thoughts...
it got me thinking about him deeply again....
how I wish he was around....
I know now that he had major low-self esteem issues...but I didn't know back then...
how I wish that he could be here so I could address it with him, at him, for him, and maybe make him feel a little better...
he grew up without love...and he died without feeling love...at least, from me...his eldest son...
I regret so many decisions and I can't change them...
in writing them, the emotions and the truth are raw and painful....
but I must write and continue on...even when the truth is ugly....
behind all ugliness....there are always some kind of wonderful...and beauty....
I love you, Dad...in being honest, I get to know you more....in death, I got to love you more...
One day, I will get to talk to you again...I know it...I hope you will have forgiven me and yourself...and I look forward to that conversation with you...
not for myself...but for my former self...and maybe...for others that might bother to read it...
I started off light-hearted and candid and wanting to set a tone that low-self esteem is not uncommon and that I wanted to address it head on and without deterrents and that I have finally conquered the issue (although NOT fully, but at least 2/3rds)
as I wrote, I began to realize how much it affected me...my past...as the memories resurfaced, it was not just about the low-self esteems but also about my family dynamics and how it all came together and how it fell apart in the first place.
there are no words for them. Well, yes, there could be words for them but it could take years to get every feeling and cross-roads written and dissected and I am not sure even myself would enjoy that...
when I got to the part about my father...I had to think about it very hard....
he's been gone 6 years now....he passed away in July, 6 years ago....
I had to be honest....but I don't want to bad mouth him...he was just as much of a victim as I was....
well, I say victim but we are usually only victims of ourselves and our own thoughts...
it got me thinking about him deeply again....
how I wish he was around....
I know now that he had major low-self esteem issues...but I didn't know back then...
how I wish that he could be here so I could address it with him, at him, for him, and maybe make him feel a little better...
he grew up without love...and he died without feeling love...at least, from me...his eldest son...
I regret so many decisions and I can't change them...
in writing them, the emotions and the truth are raw and painful....
but I must write and continue on...even when the truth is ugly....
behind all ugliness....there are always some kind of wonderful...and beauty....
I love you, Dad...in being honest, I get to know you more....in death, I got to love you more...
One day, I will get to talk to you again...I know it...I hope you will have forgiven me and yourself...and I look forward to that conversation with you...
do "I" become the pain??
Yesterday, my dear friend drove me three hours to Augusta, GA, where I had my spine surgery almost two weeks ago for a check up.
In a way, I am still in disbelief that I'd had the surgery and it's been TWO weeks already...and against all the odds about my chance of being incapaciatated or/and maybe be doped up for 6 weeks or more, I started walking the very next day after my surgery.
My surgeon (the main one) was very happy to see me. He gave me good prognosis and while I am not a complainer, I did told him about my new pain, mostly surgery related and referred.
I know it'll take time....but it still HURTS...
on the one hand, I am very grateful...I am grateful that I can feel my fingers and toes and joints. I am grateful that I can BEND my legs and walk...I am grateful that I am now able to sit at the puter and type (although not like I used to be) at a somewhat encouraging speed WITHOUT pain! And that I can BEND all 10 fingers of mine....
WOW...
BUT, IT STILL HURTS...and IT HURTS LIKE HELL....
there are so many out there that hurt worse than I am...so, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining...
wait, YES, I AM!! IT HURTS, DAMMIT!!
There, I needed to say that and then I can get over it...
one of the things I have disagreed with my lovely, dear wife and the doctors are the pain pills...
I don't take them until absolutely necessary...I am not sure why...I really am not the "glutton for punishment" type...
but I just don't like taking pain meds..I only take it before I go to bed or unless I REALLY REALLY can't take it anymore...
but I avoid it...
so, I guess I can say that I "deserve" the pain that I'd given myself...
but on the other hand...I have talked to myself about this already....way before surgery...
I have told myself that I will be walking sooner than anyone expects, I am going to heal before anyone expects, and that I am going to be healthy again, before anyone expects...
no, I am not going to be dumb and start lifting 200lbs of beef like Blocky...
but I am being smart by doing little things...things that I used to take for granted...such as "Squatting" "walking" "picking up a glass of water"
When I go to pick up that glass of water, I pick it up about 20 times, I consider that a workout because I DO breath a little harder and I can feel my hand shaking..but I am lifting water!!
I can't become the pain...
I have lived with pain almost all of my life....my body is used to pain...of various kinds...and in the past, I've given in to it...
I haven't, in the past 9+ years or so....I have been getting to the better of the pain....
because I have finally talked myself out of it...to NOT become the pain....
I am still a pain in the arse to people...but I am no longer THE pain to me....
NO...NO LONGER...
so, the three hours ride there was hell, the three hours ride back was hell because of the road and the long hours...
but I was very lucky to have a great friend that drove me...he kept my spirit up....he made the trip seemed shorter...
and I am very lucky...because many people have offered helps and kindness and I am just hoping that I can repay everybody's kindness somehow, some day...
but for now, before I do anything...I must NOT become the pain....NEVER...
because if I do...I won't be able to become ANYTHING else...but a pain in butt to everyone....
to all my friends that are suffering and having pain...I FEEL YOU....I wish with all my heart that I can take your pain away from you....but you have learned to live with your pains on a daily basis and you have shown me how...
everyday, I live for the now, NOW...and I live to NOT become the pain..because I want to be...
MOI...
In a way, I am still in disbelief that I'd had the surgery and it's been TWO weeks already...and against all the odds about my chance of being incapaciatated or/and maybe be doped up for 6 weeks or more, I started walking the very next day after my surgery.
My surgeon (the main one) was very happy to see me. He gave me good prognosis and while I am not a complainer, I did told him about my new pain, mostly surgery related and referred.
I know it'll take time....but it still HURTS...
on the one hand, I am very grateful...I am grateful that I can feel my fingers and toes and joints. I am grateful that I can BEND my legs and walk...I am grateful that I am now able to sit at the puter and type (although not like I used to be) at a somewhat encouraging speed WITHOUT pain! And that I can BEND all 10 fingers of mine....
WOW...
BUT, IT STILL HURTS...and IT HURTS LIKE HELL....
there are so many out there that hurt worse than I am...so, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining...
wait, YES, I AM!! IT HURTS, DAMMIT!!
There, I needed to say that and then I can get over it...
one of the things I have disagreed with my lovely, dear wife and the doctors are the pain pills...
I don't take them until absolutely necessary...I am not sure why...I really am not the "glutton for punishment" type...
but I just don't like taking pain meds..I only take it before I go to bed or unless I REALLY REALLY can't take it anymore...
but I avoid it...
so, I guess I can say that I "deserve" the pain that I'd given myself...
but on the other hand...I have talked to myself about this already....way before surgery...
I have told myself that I will be walking sooner than anyone expects, I am going to heal before anyone expects, and that I am going to be healthy again, before anyone expects...
no, I am not going to be dumb and start lifting 200lbs of beef like Blocky...
but I am being smart by doing little things...things that I used to take for granted...such as "Squatting" "walking" "picking up a glass of water"
When I go to pick up that glass of water, I pick it up about 20 times, I consider that a workout because I DO breath a little harder and I can feel my hand shaking..but I am lifting water!!
I can't become the pain...
I have lived with pain almost all of my life....my body is used to pain...of various kinds...and in the past, I've given in to it...
I haven't, in the past 9+ years or so....I have been getting to the better of the pain....
because I have finally talked myself out of it...to NOT become the pain....
I am still a pain in the arse to people...but I am no longer THE pain to me....
NO...NO LONGER...
so, the three hours ride there was hell, the three hours ride back was hell because of the road and the long hours...
but I was very lucky to have a great friend that drove me...he kept my spirit up....he made the trip seemed shorter...
and I am very lucky...because many people have offered helps and kindness and I am just hoping that I can repay everybody's kindness somehow, some day...
but for now, before I do anything...I must NOT become the pain....NEVER...
because if I do...I won't be able to become ANYTHING else...but a pain in butt to everyone....
to all my friends that are suffering and having pain...I FEEL YOU....I wish with all my heart that I can take your pain away from you....but you have learned to live with your pains on a daily basis and you have shown me how...
everyday, I live for the now, NOW...and I live to NOT become the pain..because I want to be...
MOI...
how I plan to become VERY wealthy.....
...or at least, I have a concept of how I can become very wealthy....
Facebook, myspace, twitter; each one of these are worth a few BILLION bucks...
not millions but BILLIONS...
I had no idea social networking is SOOO profitable!! And we're having economic meltdowns? (Oh wait, that's because nobody is working and everyone is twittering!!! )
I looked at the formats of all three of them. They are not hard to replicate...
here are my ideas:
1) Fazed and Dazed book:
a social network for those of us that can't think straight and are often fazed and dazed by the social network sites themselves. I think there a lot of us out there that can't face book...but faze book, I think we can rally together for that (but we'll have to be brave about it. LOL)
before you say: UG2BK
let me say: WAG DM&YS
2) Sifter:
a social network that only allows 66 characters or less to filter out people that you don't want on your twitter...
before you say: OGMAB,M!
let me just say: Y,IAS
3) mime space:
there are a lot of social networks dedicated to those that talk (Speak), but I believe we have untapped resources in the mime area....
last I checked on the WMO (World Mimes Organization) there are currently 2 million mimes out there and even more out there without work or ways to communicate. (they hate ASKING for help and nobody can understand them if they were asking)...
my only challenge with Mime Space would be WORD problems....
before you say:
let me say:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you may shake your head right now, but when I become a billionaire. I'll sent for you by my coporate jet, just tell me what would you like on your fruit tray (although I'll be staffing my jet with mimes, so please learn some short hand mime language)
(what would BFF be in mime??????)
Facebook, myspace, twitter; each one of these are worth a few BILLION bucks...
not millions but BILLIONS...
I had no idea social networking is SOOO profitable!! And we're having economic meltdowns? (Oh wait, that's because nobody is working and everyone is twittering!!! )
I looked at the formats of all three of them. They are not hard to replicate...
here are my ideas:
1) Fazed and Dazed book:
a social network for those of us that can't think straight and are often fazed and dazed by the social network sites themselves. I think there a lot of us out there that can't face book...but faze book, I think we can rally together for that (but we'll have to be brave about it. LOL)
before you say: UG2BK
let me say: WAG DM&YS
2) Sifter:
a social network that only allows 66 characters or less to filter out people that you don't want on your twitter...
before you say: OGMAB,M!
let me just say: Y,IAS
3) mime space:
there are a lot of social networks dedicated to those that talk (Speak), but I believe we have untapped resources in the mime area....
last I checked on the WMO (World Mimes Organization) there are currently 2 million mimes out there and even more out there without work or ways to communicate. (they hate ASKING for help and nobody can understand them if they were asking)...
my only challenge with Mime Space would be WORD problems....
before you say:
let me say:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
you may shake your head right now, but when I become a billionaire. I'll sent for you by my coporate jet, just tell me what would you like on your fruit tray (although I'll be staffing my jet with mimes, so please learn some short hand mime language)
(what would BFF be in mime??????)
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