My Own Private Hell....

It's only 4:45pm, and it has already been one of those days....

it actually started with one of those nights....I couldn't sleep and didn't get to bed until 1am.

My body is still going numb after the surgery. And it's shifting from my left to my right and vice versa and I am in fear for another surgery...

then, it's up at dawn to get the kids ready even though I had to really really struggle today to get out of bed. It was one of those days that I went through everyone of my heroes in my head and then told myself that if I can't even get up to get our kids ready for school, then I am nothing...

I ended up rolling out of bed and fell on my right knee....

Grandson has been wetting the bed the past few days but luckily, he didn't today so I thought to myself, hey, it's not going to be too bad....

well, after I dropped them off to school, phone started to ring.

none of them were important and I decided to turn my phone off.

I then took two pain pills that I haven't taken in awhile and it really knocked me out.

As soon as I headed to bed, da wife came home from work with our grand daughter. She had been throwing up in school.

I was so exhausted and my eyes were about to shut, but I had to do my duty and bless my dear wife's heart, she was contacted because I had turned off all the phones in the house and they had to call her to pick up grand daughter...

After I got grand daughter rested, I called wonderful friends of ours if they could pick up grandson today. I just knew that I need to get some sleep.

But then, I had the phones turned back on.

And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I went back to bed, the phone rang...

by the time I got done talking on the phone, I was too tired to GO to SLEEP...

I checked on grand daughter who was blissfully watching a rest movie: Scooby Doo
and I just sat at the couch...ended up surfing on the laptop and just as I was about to doze off, the door bell rang...

it was the mailman(actually, mailwoman).

of course, this roused up grand daughter, and we ended up watching TV together and as I was falling asleep on the couch. The door bell rang again. Our friends had brought grandson back.

Getting him cleaned up somehow awakened the chuck in me.

As I rushed to the bathroom and UP chucked myself three times into the sink while waving them back because they got "excited"at their papo puking.

It's funny how they ask you more questions when you are not able to answer.

If I am coughing my lungs out, they are asking me tons of questions, if I am aspirating, they are asking me tons of questions...now that I was puking, two tons of tomatoes came with those question as I painted the Moana Lisa with bits of regurgitated food...

I was beyond exhaustion by now....my body was aching and on fire....

I had to summon up the rest of my strength...I pleaded with them to rest, have a quiet time while I slip a DVD in while I crawled into my bed to try and sleep....

and of course, I couldn't sleep....but it was nice to just lie there and have my eyes closed...

and just as I was about to drift off to dreamland....

feet started to stomp....

it was the grandson, he had decided that he wanted to come out and "hang out" by my bedroom....

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I actually laughed because I was so ANGRY on the inside...

at him, at the world, at myself....

I gave him a quick lecture on being courteous and gave him a quick time out.

By now....I feel like the "madman" I feel like my hair was that of the bride of Frankenstein. I feel like my brain was on fire being eaten alive and all my nerves were shot...

so....

I boiled some water and made me a cup of TEA....yeah, caffeine, that last thing that I need yet it helped calmed me down....

then, everything seemed to repeat itself in one form or another and here I sit, at the computer, typing out my insane day as I try to find a bit of sanity as I write this down so I won't get lost in the eddy of madness.......

and it's ONLY another 3 hours til the lil ones go to bed....

Edvard M"v"nch, I hear you, man...

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