Digressing 'Til It's Non Sequitur

cursive, or not cursive....

2009-12-24T21:33:00.000-08:00

....is that a question??

So, we had friends that visited this past sunday. They are brilliant people that are erudite in the English language.

we got on the subjects of our kids, of course...then, onto the topic of how schools are phasing out cursive writings...

Da wife was really baffled and asked, "why would they do that, how would our kids learn how to read doctors' writings?"

I raised the question of, "can ANYBODY read a doctor's handwriting, anyways??"

everyone nodded their head in acquiesce...NO....

besides, it isn't good to write cursive...I mean, "F-U-C...." or "S-H-I..." are not good cursive words to learn...

our friend, Peggy, then mentioned that one of her daughters not only had problem with the cursive writings in school...but that she was also a very bad speller...

well, "P-H-U-C-K" would really be awful to a kid's self-esteem...that would make me curse already...a misspelled cursive writing essay?? Well...you know....SAT would never accept that....

when I look at it from all angles...I find it a connundrum...

first of all, no two people's cursive writings are the same...

I remember someone brought up the constitution of America in its original cursive form....well, to be honest with you, I had a hard time reading that stuff when I was in D.C. Those cursive words are really fancy and I had a hard time understanding it...

at the same time, cursive writing IS an art form....it is beautiful when written correctly....but I can't recall many people putting the time to write it correctly...

and we all know that art is a personal taste/choice of thing...I mean, have you seen some of the "FINE" arts out there that are REALLY out there???

I guess in the end, I don't care...as long as my kids can go into the right bathroom to do their business and don't turn in a paper titled: The Constipation of the United States of America

I really wouldn't care....

now, TEXTING...I have a problem with....LOL

I just can't stand: I luv u

I cannot imagine getting a greeting card from my kids:

"I luv u, d+ (+ means ADD)"

I don't want to be called a "D+" for "DAD"

know what I mean??

and I don't want to be asked, "dju 8 dner" (did you ate dinner)

to me, that would make me become cursive...

Bleh....

2009-12-24T21:09:00.000-08:00

I cannot belive it's been so long since I've blabbed...and I am such a blabber mouth...

it's been a really odd second half of the year...

since August 30th, 30 days after my spinal surgery, I have been sick almost none stop. And it was passed around throughout my household...and then back to me again on various occassions...heckit, I can't even spell occasions right....sheesh...

having fevers are not fun...having fevers that go up and down 3 degrees in one day everyday for a week is even LESS funner...

so far, this household has had its shares of flu, swine flu, stomach flu, R2D2 Flu, Asian Flu, avian flu, Wrights Brothers Flew, and One Flu (over the Coco Puff's Nest).

Temperatures have reached more than Farenheit 451 and my Tails has seen more than two cities (I go to 3 different doctors in two different towns).

It's a good thing that my wife is loving, caring, and very strong and don't get sick too often. But even she, got sick a couple of times through it all...or threw up of it all...

When I had my stomach flu last week...I literally cried....I cried so hard that I wasn't hungry because I swallowed all my nasal drips...and then I passed it out the other end because of my stomach flu...

it is even less funny when I would be sick and the kids would be sick at the same time...because I would have no energy and da wife had used up almost all of her sick leaves and there would be me and a sick kiddo...both miserable together...

it's a sad sight...LOL....

but through it all, we made it....I still cannot comprehend how single parents do it. It is hard with two parents...and that's when everyone's healthy...

anyways, it's been almost 8 days that we all have been healthy...knock on cyberboard...let's keep it that way and keep the germs at bay....

now,where's my sanitizer??

Life And Death....

2009-10-27T21:46:00.001-07:00

Our friend, David, passed away last week...

He is no longer suffering....he was so young, barely in his 50's....his brain tumor was benign....yet, it took his life because it wouldn't stop growing....

in his last days, he suffered greatly....sleepless nights, can't stop eating, restless all the time, confused....

just hearing about his condition tugged at our hearts....on the one hand, we prayed for a big huge miracle....on the other hand, we prayed that he'd get peace soon....

He was a man of great integrity and equanitmity.

His life may be ephemeral, but his spirit will shine eternal...

As we heard news of his passing away, we heard our grandkids asking if they could call us "daddy/dadda and mommy/mama"

I took a big gulp as I looked over to my wife, who had tears in her eyes as we had just said a prayer for David and his wife, Lisa....as the fire of life was just doused with the sadness of his passing...our hearts were ignited again, with the new circle of life, as we see the fire in our grandchildren, now, our children's, eyes.....

Rest, dear David...

Grow up and live life to its fullest, Elora and Jaidon, our children....

ying/yang, on/off, positive/negative....

I'll take it all....

for now, I am no longer the man on the moon....

Just you on the moon now, Andy (Kaufman)....but I think David might swing by....you two behave there...I'll see you guys there some day....

The Darkside Of The Moon...

2009-10-02T16:07:00.001-07:00

At this very moment, I am highly annoyed, irritated.

Everyone around me is being nice, wonderful, and supportive, but my mind is dark....

it wants to move to the darkside of the moon, and stay in eternal darkness...

I don't want sunshine nor sunlight, I don't want rainbows or raindrops...

I long for quiet without sounds....

I long for not to hear any kids yelling nor screaming...

I long for no noises, no contacts, with anyone, person, place nor thing....

it is the place that I know it is surreal, yet so real....

it is a place that I want to go, yet know logically, that I can't....

but the darkside of me is asking, begging, pleading....and abetting....

laughters are not contagious to me at this moment....it actually turns me off when I see a smile or hear people laugh...

I hate it when this side takes command and takes over and becomes draconic and then become the despot.

It wants to control me, it wants me to not believe....

it makes everything positive negative.

it wants me to look at the "dark" side of things...

it wants me to be angry at the laughters, it wants me to be pissed off at the smiles...

every tiny little thing annoys me, every nice gesture makes me tired....

every acknowledgement makes me want to back and shy away from answering or acknowledging back...

I want to throw my arms high in the air and say: I give

but my arms can't reach that high due to my neck....

I want to just retire, sleep an eternal sleep....

I don't want attitudes, I don't want "faces".....

I just want to be a selfish SOB that just don't give a damn right now...but I can't....

I want to know that I can come back and read this when I am in a different place and can laugh about it and claim victory over it again....

but I think Nike® is no longer on my side...I am not sure how to find it again....I've run out of resources and I am tired of looking for her....

Teeth are hurting from gritting....the pressure cooker is on it's highest temperature and about to blow....

explosion is inevitable....

where to channel it, where to direct it, where to contain it....

just have to try and try again....and then try again.....

and hope that I can find a rocket big enough that can carry all my angst, and shoot me to the darkside of the moon....

My Own Private Hell....

2009-10-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

It's only 4:45pm, and it has already been one of those days....

it actually started with one of those nights....I couldn't sleep and didn't get to bed until 1am.

My body is still going numb after the surgery. And it's shifting from my left to my right and vice versa and I am in fear for another surgery...

then, it's up at dawn to get the kids ready even though I had to really really struggle today to get out of bed. It was one of those days that I went through everyone of my heroes in my head and then told myself that if I can't even get up to get our kids ready for school, then I am nothing...

I ended up rolling out of bed and fell on my right knee....

Grandson has been wetting the bed the past few days but luckily, he didn't today so I thought to myself, hey, it's not going to be too bad....

well, after I dropped them off to school, phone started to ring.

none of them were important and I decided to turn my phone off.

I then took two pain pills that I haven't taken in awhile and it really knocked me out.

As soon as I headed to bed, da wife came home from work with our grand daughter. She had been throwing up in school.

I was so exhausted and my eyes were about to shut, but I had to do my duty and bless my dear wife's heart, she was contacted because I had turned off all the phones in the house and they had to call her to pick up grand daughter...

After I got grand daughter rested, I called wonderful friends of ours if they could pick up grandson today. I just knew that I need to get some sleep.

But then, I had the phones turned back on.

And wouldn't you know it, as soon as I went back to bed, the phone rang...

by the time I got done talking on the phone, I was too tired to GO to SLEEP...

I checked on grand daughter who was blissfully watching a rest movie: Scooby Doo
and I just sat at the couch...ended up surfing on the laptop and just as I was about to doze off, the door bell rang...

it was the mailman(actually, mailwoman).

of course, this roused up grand daughter, and we ended up watching TV together and as I was falling asleep on the couch. The door bell rang again. Our friends had brought grandson back.

Getting him cleaned up somehow awakened the chuck in me.

As I rushed to the bathroom and UP chucked myself three times into the sink while waving them back because they got "excited"at their papo puking.

It's funny how they ask you more questions when you are not able to answer.

If I am coughing my lungs out, they are asking me tons of questions, if I am aspirating, they are asking me tons of questions...now that I was puking, two tons of tomatoes came with those question as I painted the Moana Lisa with bits of regurgitated food...

I was beyond exhaustion by now....my body was aching and on fire....

I had to summon up the rest of my strength...I pleaded with them to rest, have a quiet time while I slip a DVD in while I crawled into my bed to try and sleep....

and of course, I couldn't sleep....but it was nice to just lie there and have my eyes closed...

and just as I was about to drift off to dreamland....

feet started to stomp....

it was the grandson, he had decided that he wanted to come out and "hang out" by my bedroom....

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I actually laughed because I was so ANGRY on the inside...

at him, at the world, at myself....

I gave him a quick lecture on being courteous and gave him a quick time out.

By now....I feel like the "madman" I feel like my hair was that of the bride of Frankenstein. I feel like my brain was on fire being eaten alive and all my nerves were shot...

so....

I boiled some water and made me a cup of TEA....yeah, caffeine, that last thing that I need yet it helped calmed me down....

then, everything seemed to repeat itself in one form or another and here I sit, at the computer, typing out my insane day as I try to find a bit of sanity as I write this down so I won't get lost in the eddy of madness.......

and it's ONLY another 3 hours til the lil ones go to bed....

Edvard M"v"nch, I hear you, man...

http://ourjourneytosmile.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/the-scream-edvard-munch.jpg

The "Balance" Of Life??!!????!!

2009-09-26T20:13:00.001-07:00

Tonight, we went to IHOP for a get together with our friends, Lisa and David Gordon.

It may be the last time that we'll see David...

Both he and Lisa were co-workers with da wife and they came to our weeding (wedding) three years ago. (Our third year anniversary will be October 21, which is aka "sweetest day")

I didn't know Lisa and David well. But da wife has always spoke very highly of them and I got to know them better after our wedding and they came to dinner and we got to know and love them dearly.

Unfortunately for David, he has been battling a "benign" brain tumor the past 10 years with numerous operations and chemo/radiations that had him traveled all around the country.

Two years ago, they moved to Charlotte, NC because of job situations and David's situation and we haven't seen much of them since...

He has battled this tumor hard...as well as Lisa...

And even though it is benign, it won't stop growing and finally, David said, "he's tired" and has refused to go through another operation or chemo. He'll be starting hospice on Monday...

HOSPICE....

When we saw him tonight, we could barely recognize him. His face has swollen to twice his old thin-self...he had an eye patch over his right eye and his left eye couldn't look straight.

But he had such a peace look to him...I burst into tears as well as da wife and I was so emotional I didn't know what to say at first.

They are such a strong couple...and they truly love one another...

we know that Lisa has done all she could and more for him. She also works hard and is providing for the family...

They both are exceptional people as well as having exceptional work ethics. But it is the love that they share for each other that truly touches us....

A lot of their friends showed up tonight....to celebrate our love for David and Lisa...perhaps, one last time....

As I got my chance to have sat with Lisa and David....

I told them that I have such admiration for them, and for him, and for her...

He really is a good man...a man of honor, dignity, and paragon and representation of hardworker.

I told him all that...I wanted him to know that it is such an honor to know him and that I hope that some miracle WILL happen for him/them....

I am not the type to sugar coat things for I am practical and pragmatic. But I also believe in the power of positive thinking and positive thoughts (That include prayers)...

As others visited him and Lisa, I sat with the kids that were there....including ours...they were at another section...

there they were, laughing, playing, joking, having fun while the adults were on the other side, while the adults were not in tears or had faces of "sadness". There was on that end, a solemn and the last supper sense about it for David...

I couldn't help but look at the both sides and my heart tug-of-warred...

I wish I could take some of those energy of youth, of life...and give some of that to David and extend his for much longer...

they were having such fun, being innocent, carefree, and enjoying themselves...

I wonder if they'll sit on the "otherside" one day, in the same situation as the adults....

I pray and hope that doesn't happen....but I also know that the cycle of life is of such....

I still find myself struggling to get up each day....but David is one of those people that I think about...and it gets me off of my lazy butt and try to take on the day....and I am glad, that I got the chance to tell him so....

Da wife and I are also feeling anger....while we understand it, we still don't want to understand it, why that a lot of the good folks cannot get a good break....

but there was something about David tonight...he looked peaceful....

Da wife said that she remembered him being scared, and struggled with the tumor, as well as his ability to provide, as well as his fear of life itself...

but something about the way he looked tonight strengthen the part of me that is fearless of death...for I, in a way, understand that in accepting death....we actually feel more alive....

I wonder if he felt more alive tonight...by the folks that showed up, to show their love for him and Lisa...

and I wonder...if he heard the innocent lively laughter on the other end of the restaurant...and wondered to himself that it's all a cycle...and that he and Lisa have something that many others can't claim in their lives....

TRUE LOVE....

Semantics...

2009-09-26T00:38:00.001-07:00

As I re-read most of my blogs today...the tone is not that of my usual easy going self...*snickers sheepishly...

I guess I really need to let this one out and it's a true vent from deep within that has been bothering me for quite a few days now....

We have adopted our grandchildren. A girl and a boy, one year apart. Their mother is my step daughter...

It was a long and winding road to get them into our home. It was a tough and arduous task sedulously hashed out between two states...

anyways, they are with us now and have been since April...

few days ago, da wife was having a conversation with step daughter and was telling her of the funny things the kids had been saying and then said, "our kids" a few times during the conversation...

that didn't bode well with step daughter....who really hasn't been much of a mother even when she had these kids...

she had such a conniption that she gave da wife hell for two days...

I had to really calm down to not to call her to NEVER call us again...

the nerve...really...

she gave up these kids....in August, on grandson's birthday, she didn't even send him anything...

her excuse is always, "I have no money..."

but she has the money to go camping, drive everywhere, waste gas, hang out with her friends...

and there was her son's birthday....not any gesture....

she talks the talk a lot....but rarely walk the walk....

she always hold on to these little things that don't matter...such as haircuts...or what types of shoes they should wear...

WHO CARES!!

What about LOVE?? What about holding them when they're crying and staying up with them while they are sick and high with fever??

What about being there and providing for them and giving them peace of mind and a safe place to be?

Has she thought about any of that? Maybe she has...but it sure didn't last long nor did it mattered...

but for having such a fit because da wife said, "our kids" ?????

Damn right, they're our kids....she signed the paper to give them up....

Then, there is my mother-in-law....her grandmother....who was here for over a month while I was so sick and was go to into surgery.

She came here with my father-in-law and she cleaned, cooked, helped with the kids and then apologized for not being a good writer when she wanted to write me a letter telling me what a great time she had when she was here...

step daughter is a brilliant letter writer...she has written some stuff that can move the earth under one's feet...

one time, two times, three times, and boy, I was a sucker and bought into it...

but after all the talk and no action...these letters have now become slaps in the face and I simply roll my eyes if one was to be handed to me. I'd ask sarcastically, "do I have to read it?"

yes, it is well written, full of praises and thanks and blah blah blah...

but her actions mean nothing....

since the "our kids" incident. Her phone calls to the kids have slowed down. She was calling them once or twice a day....it's been days now since she's called and really...I don't care....

my first and foremost duty are to these kids...they are children...

step daughter is a grown woman....she can make up her own damned mind where she wants to live or be or what not...I have to be honest, at this point, I no longer care....

I tried really hard with her through the years, to be an understanding friend and to be there for her only to be met with slaps in the face attitudes....

no more.....

I wrote my mother-in-law that I wish everyone in her family were like her..that they'd show their love through actions....

and I, have no time for semantic manipulations....homey don't play that....and never will....

Sat, Sept 26, 2009...

2009-09-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

...kicks off the "Banned Books Week"....

this is the week where we celebrate our freedom of speech and get to read books that could've been banned, has/had been banned, and might/will be banned....

I have been thinking about re-reading the classics for awhile now...

In the past five years, I have found myself bored with the so called "New York Times Best Seller List" books...

I have been finding that I can't read a lot of the books that critics recommend out there.

And not just books, movies, also...

I am finding myself reading more and more historical books and fact (non fiction)books....which is shocking to me, in a way....

I used to be nuts about fiction, especially science fiction. I gobbled them down and eagered for more...

I hated history books or books based on history.

I have done a complete 180 now...

Often times, someone would suggest a book to us and I'd get it and I can't get through the first chapter...it's gotten that bad...

I have been re-reading some of the classics as of late and am finding a renewed interest in them.
And history has somehow become a hot topic for me, all of a sudden....I am interested in all cultures around the world....

Well, maybe NOT all classics...I don't see myself reading "Walden" or "Moby Dick" ever again...once was enough with that, Ahab....and ennui was the best that I got out of those two books. (And whoever said "Moby Dick" was the greatest book ever written, I will have to harpoon him/her. WOW, "harpoon" really isn't such an obscure word after all!! For those wondering about my fascination with "harpoon" http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/09/deep-thoughts-090909.html)

but “Fahrenheit 451″ is definitely worth a revisit...

and “The Grapes of Wrath” is probably worth a good re-read especially during hard economic times like this....can't believe it was almost banned...

Where's Waldo was banned in Michigan and NY back then... how about that? Not that I was a fan of Waldo...more of fan of Weirdo Al...LOL (I am not sure if the ban has been lifted or not, though. LOL)

The Complete Fairy Tales Of Brothers Grimm. I am telling you....the original version was so much better..more gore and blood and better than happily ever after. LOL I was fortunate enough to read the original version in Chinese. And when I came over to the U.S. I was surprised to read the watered down, cleaned up, often Disney like versions of their fairy tales....Bleh...

I can't believe NY and Colorado banned "The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer" back in the days. This is perhaps one of my favorite books of all times....

Harry Potter books...I must say, I tried reading Harry Potter...couldn't get into it. But it seems harmless enough...but people tried to ban it because it had "satanic" undertones....give me a break, folks...really...get a life....

During the first Dynasty of China. The first Emperor burned all of the books in all of China....

It is based on his fear....that people would read these books and uprise against him...

they did, anyways.....

I am a big advocate for freedom of speech. Even when the speech is bad...I defend it...I defend the right to make bad speeches but I also defend the right to those that will castigate the bad speeches.

I defend bad books. But I also defend the rights of those people that wants to ban it. They have that right...

it all comes down to democracy. Who gets more vote...

But sometimes, it is truly none sense...people want to shut others up for stupid reasons....reasons beyond common sense because of their own personal agendas...OK, I even defend that but then I say let them burn when others retaliate. Because they have that right, also....

See...I can get riled up....LOL

Anybody reading any good books out there that they think should be banned?? I'd love some good suggestions while I lay in my sick bed...LOL and maybe it'll shut me up....

Boy....

2009-09-25T22:34:00.001-07:00

....did I blab today....

LOL....

I guess I can leave some deep thoughts for the day....

Nah............

To my English Idol, Billy Shakesaharpoon who wrote a bunch of "bonnets" and "soiled leered la queens"....

Who made "Raw Meat Oh and Jewel Lit-yet" household names...

that had the Mount-A-Goose and the Cat-Puke-Licks battled like the "Roses" that prevented true love....

How that turned into the "West Sided Story" which I saw again recently and I cannot believe that I thought it was so good back in the days only to find it really not so great except for the music and Rita Moreno.

And btw, I finally saw "Wizard Of Oz" for the very first time in my life.

I mean, I know the story and I've seen bits and pieces of it and I know some of the songs that sent me gone to look for Leperchauns and that pot of cursed gold...

I guess that's one advantage of having children. I am reading books and movies that I have had no desire to read nor see...

like Mother Goose....but I digest, yet again...

I guess a blab is a bit like a soliloquy...

To pee, or not to pee...that isn't really even need to be questioned...(Hammer Let)

Oh, my office stank it smells of Havannah (no offense to Havannahians) (Hammer Let)

Now, might I do it, Pat, now he is spraying...(Hammer Let)

That has no relish thus no salivation in it (Hammer Let)

today, and today, and today
creepy in this petty face from pay to pay...(McBath and McDonald's)

All of our yesterdays have lighted fools (this one is the actual part of soliloquy from Macbeth, don't even need me to mess with it. LOL)

whew....

alrighty, now that I've slaughtered Shakespeare...

I guess I'll have to do something that I've never done before....

be serious...and leave this one alone in its entirety and leave it for my wife... :-)

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief.
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it;
cast it off. It is my lady,
O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing:
what of that? Her eye discourses;
I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business,
do entreat her eyes To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp;
her eyes in heaven Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!

(boy, I am so glad that somebody has gone through the trouble to type all these out on the net. Beats me finding my old copy of Raw-Meat-Oh and Julienne Carrots)

Woe Is Moi.......parting a toupe is such sweet sorrow....

*disclaimer, the above statement is of no offense to any toupe wearers out there. For I strongly support self-improvement/image to create a better life for ones-self....
I am also full of crap and I am the president of it....

I Like Art, But.....

2009-09-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

I love art, actually. Who doesn't?

A picture is worth a thousand words, sometimes even a couple of million bucks. Or as in the case of the "Sunflower" almost 15 million or more...

But.....

I have always have problems with the influx or art historians...people that study artworks.

That's fine. I have no problems with that. But in a broader sense, do we really need that many of them?

And the truth is, when someone is a PhD, they have to write papers, they have to try to publish.

So, we get volumes and volumes of books, papers, theories, on artworks.

Take Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" for example. It's been analyzed to death. From that it's his self portrait to that it means he's gay....

come on...

sometimes, I wonder if artists of the modern era create mystiques in arts just because they can play with art critics and art historian's minds....

but I wonder if it was simpler in the really early days of artists. That they simply are drawing/painting exactly what it is....

Then came the snobbish art critics and art historians. Now, theories abound and it gave us the "Da Vinci Code"

which, I couldn't finish. It seems like an interesting book but after reading 2/3rd of it, I had to put it down and said to myself....OK, enough is enough...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all the theories and conspiracies and such. But there is such thing as "over doing it"....

on the plus side, it does make one think. On the negative side, it can create something out of nothing....

the most recent "theory" being the one that I read today about Jackson Pollock.

Now, I am not familiar with his work. I've seen some of it.

I must say, I can't say that he is the "BEST" artist to come out of this country. That's a bold statement to come out from ONE critic's mouth.

what makes THAT critic the best critic? And what makes what he says THE statement?

That aside, the theory du jour is that in Pollock's painting, "Mural", an art historian and his wife, another art historian have now made a bold conclusion/hypothesis that Pollock had secretly encoded his name into the painting.

She could make out the letters to all of his name.

But as I read the "argument" for the case. They cannot definitively say exactly where it is...

I tried to look into it. Yes, there are some letters that look like an "S" or "O"

and if we peeled away "Jackson Pollock" we can see that those are pretty common letters.

any lines can look like an "l"
a circle that isn't closed can look like a "c"
snakey looking lines can be said to be "s"

the rest are up for interpretation...

now, these historians work for the Smithsonian...they are "prestigious" in their own rights. They've studied art and devoted their whole life to it. So, who am I to "critique" them...

BUT, who started the "Critic's college" eh??

then, I read that there are art historians that study ONE particular painting for apparently enormous amount of time just to study it....

know what I'd love to do?

I'd love to paint a picture of a bug, become famous with it. Say nothing about it. Make it mystical. Then die and let art critics and historians all over the world study it for the rest of their lives trying to decipher the "bug".

I'd like for them to say that I was trying to encode a curse word into it. Or that it was a nekkid picture of moi embedded within it. Maybe it was a photo of another bug but I painted over it with the new bug and now they are being bugged by why I did it (but I really didn't).

Or, maybe they'll think that I was abused as a child, or that I suffered from split personality disorder because the wings were not symmetrical.

Maybe they'll look at the bug's eyes and theorize that I was blind because the bug's eyes were bigger than the real bug's eyes and that I made the eyes bigger to symbolize sight.

But in actuality. I simply painted a bug the way I saw it. And it was just a bug.

Hmmmmm....by golly, I think I've hit upon another million dollar idea....

I am not knocking that there are important works out there. But are there truly that many of them??? Are all the MAJOR artists out there coding their artworks?

Every year, I would read that this artist's secret is uncovered or that artist's secret is uncovered.
I am wondering, if the artists want to show off their artworks in the first place, why keep it covered??

I guess the mystiques sells the artworks, eh?

I remember one of my friends that was an art student. She told me that for a whole semester, she believed her professor's taste in art and had to agree with all of her choices even when she didn't liked a lot of the artworks the professor chose.

And by the end of the semester, she had even convinced herself to like some of the artwork that she really didn't liked...

I made a bold statement, I told her that is because she was young, and that she was impressionable. And we can be easily influenced by "authorities" because they are in that position to influence us.

At that stage in our lives, we can be easily influenced to buy elixirs and tonics and potions and snake oils and believing that they would work...

in her case, she bought the idea that she liked some of the arts that she later on admitted that she never liked, and still didn't....

Art will always be subjective subject.

And a lot of modern artworks are simply "fads" they'll come and go and be today's big news and tomorrow's forgotten child....

And while I hold an open mind because I do like new ideas, I also question it at the same time.

Do we really need to decipher that Pollock's "Mural" contains his name?

Or can we just enjoy it for what it is, which for me, is a loud, yellowish grey, torrent, mess that was ahead of its time....

I wouldn't put it on my wall, it wouldn't go with anything that we own.

Although in college, it would've gone well with all my milk crates (I had a lot of greyish milk crates in my room)

The "Mural" got lucky, in my humbled opinion. Because there are a lot of artworks out there like that now. But they didn't come out first.

Whenever something is the first of its kind. People are going to say it's "ingenius"...sure...because they'd never seen it before...

but it doesn't mean that others didn't think of it before....

I wonder at the man that invented the first wheel...the lucky SOB...he just was the one that actually made it physically round while others thought of it but were too lazy to actually to physically do it...

not knocking Pollock's importance...but sometimes, timing is everything....

and I am at the stage in my life that I am enjoying "elegance in simplicity"

now, if we were to talk about "The face that launched a thousand ships...."

I can be very subjective about that kind of art...LOL

here is the article on Pollock for those interested:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Decoding-Jackson-Pollock.html#

now, I am sure I have offended Pollock's supporters and fans out there. I sincerely apologize for that. But I will say this and stand behind it.

It's not healthy to believe in something when it is not there....it is not healthy to look for something that is not there.....
(one thing that triggered this thought was when I read that Susan Atkins died today, she was one of Charles Manson's followers that did the actual killing of actress Sharon Tate. Manson believed in "Helter Skelter" by the Beatles. He believed in the secret message and taught it to his followers...young impressionable young folks....and they killed for him....)

it is healthy, to ask questions ESPECIALLY...when it comes from so called "Authority" on the subject...

I was taught to NOT question doctors and law makers...but the older I get, the more I question these authority on the subjects...while they have more knowledge than I do in their fields....do they really hold my best interest in their hearts??

using common sense, and asking questions...we can grow and learn...we can be open to it, but if we feel that it doesn't make sense...then, it DOESN'T make sense...to OURSELVES while it may make sense to others....

I might as well digest a little bit here (for those that ask why I "digest" I really digress and it's explained here in case you're wondering. LOL http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/08/speaking-of-square-pegs.html)

years ago. I was in one of my argumentative stages. Or eristic stages as some would call it. We were talking about economics and I questioned that we were following Alan Greenspan's plan down to the "T"....

I questioned that one man has such power that the economy flowed with his thoughts and how he cut the rates or how he dictated them. My nemesis argued that Greenspan is invaluable and that his words are the bible to our economy...

I called him a lemming underneath my breath and loudly called Greenspan the piped piper that ate too much pickled pepper....

Economy is the backbone of what shapes or breaks a country and its government(s)....

to have ONE person to have such power, it's scary and overwhelming.

My problem with Greenspan at the time was that when he's pessimistic, the country became pessimistic and the economy would drag.

The feds was created to unify money. Because banks were all printing their own money and there was no sense of unity. That's all...who ended up giving the feds so much power that they started to get to say how we should grow???

btw, nobody has ever been able to fully resolve the "money" issue...

what IS money? What does MONEY worth?

We all started by bartering. That's how economy was in the OLD days... (Flint Stone?)

somehow, the darned cursed Phoenicians invented metal money about 1500 BC and then the Chinese invented "paper" money and now we have this "money" that is representing our hardworks and sweats.

But think about this for a second. Even for those that don't work nor sweat, if they can get their hands on MONEY....they still have the power to purchase (barter/trade) for goods....

if I garden for 10 hours today and made 100 dollars. And somebody stole the 100 dollars from me, they have now the power to buy something with my hard earned sweat while I have nothing to show for.

Where as before money was invented, I could've gardened for 3 different people that I might be able to exchange my sweat for.

I can't change how our world has shaped to be. We are being lead by this "money" that is backed by useless gold and silver and diamonds (although diamonds are quite useful in drilling and other things, though)...

It bothers me that people are willing to die for "money"....it bothers me that "money" dictates economy....

they really are just units that is used to represent what we sweated and worked for....

but do these units justify the means??

Should Bill Gates really be worth billions when his Windows are really junk while Linux and other more superior systems are not worth as much as his crappy windows?

I dunno....I am not an economist but I think I know what true value and worth is...

I guess in a way, we can also blame pirates and looters and pillagers and bandits....that went around villages plundering the "goods"...which are usually gold and silver and jewelries...

they sit on mountains of gold in their hideouts....what is it worth?

(maybe one day, I will write about "Old Man Of The Mountain" and of the Vizier/caliph that didn't share his mountain worth of gold and silver with his people and ended up being locked up to starve to death with it...)

did that made any sense?? I hope NOT.....LOL

excelsior.......

Can Somebody Answer These Questions For Moi...

2009-09-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

We have cats. As a matter of fact, in the past few years, we've had quite a bit of cats. A lot of them just came into our lives not because we seek them out, but because of circumstances. Usually because our relatives or family members couldn't take care of them anymore and these cats are too old to be given away.

So, we would take them. Some of them have died, a couple of them ran away and we've never found them.

But all of them have ONE thing in common, both males and females.

Now, before I ask my question. Let me explain how they live in our house.

I put in a cat door just for them. And we leave our garage door slightly opened so they can come in and out.

We deflea them and bathe them once a month so they are clean(in a way).

The problem with them all is this, even though they all go outside. They all puke inside.

ALL OF THEM....it is not uncommon to wake up to hairballs or hair/stomach juices on the floor. But they GO outside.

WHY?? Why do they puke INSIDE??

And we've found this theme among the older cats, they like to puke NEAR the food or IN the food bowl...and then, the other cats won't touch the foods anymore and the guilty ones won't eat the foods either (not that we'd make them).

The ones that would puke into the food bowl would always sit by the bowl and give us, "the look"

as if saying, "well, what are you going to do about it??"

I've had to laugh everytime they give me that look...as if it IS my fault that they've puked into their own food bowl???

What gives??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why is it, that the kids' clothes are about a quater of adult sizes but it takes the SAME amount of time to fold them??

Our laundry piles are becoming insane. With two kids that can't seem to stay clean everytime they go outside (even school, they'd come back with their uniforms all dirty!!).

OK, the washing part is fine. But the folding part has become quite time consuming.

I had thought that I'd just mostly fold them in half. But that's too big even for kid's clothes.

So, as I would usually fold mine into a quater of it's size. I have to do the same with the kids.

And it takes the SAME amount of time. This is where physics and math don't make sense. LOL

And then, when they go and get dressed, they just rummage through all the neatly folded clothes and now they can't find anything...grrrrrr....

but if I cheat and just STUFF the clothes in the drawers, da wife would catch me and THEN, I would be in big trouble...

I guess my question really isn't why it takes the same amount of time to fold kids' clothes, but why is it that I get caught everytime that I take the short cut? LOLOLOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of kids clothes. Has anyone noticed how expensive they are?

My shirts are 5 bucks and most often times, I wait until they are 3 for 10 bucks before I'd buy them.

We went out shopping recently for new clothes and uniforms and bought some new shirts for ourselves.

When I came back home, my clothes cost $25.00 total, and I got 5 shirts and two pair of pants out of it.

The kids came back with 2 brand new uniforms each, new shoes each, a couple of new shirts and pants each. And even though we shop at the discount stores, the total for all of them was close to $300.00.

The shoes were outrageous. They were close to $50.00 each pair and this was at the discount outlet mall....

I put their shoes next to mine, and it is not even half of my shoe size. My shoes are not anything major. But they are pretty good brands. Like Sketcher. I buy them off of Amazon when they are on sale. For about $49.99 a pair plus free shipping.

Their shoes cost more than mine....*pout...

who's doing the maths out there?? Who's charging these outrageous prices for kids clothing?? And it isn't just one store. ALL OF THEM. Even Wal-mart kids clothes are ridiculous when compared to the adult clothes....

can somebody out there with economic sense tell me why when the material cost is less, it actually cost more??

I am thinking about going into the children and kids business...

baby food, for example, ounce for ounce, is about 400% markup. $1.25 for mashed carrots??????? Sheesh!! PEAS???

And we complain about gas prices...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

speaking of gas....

well, it's universal I guess, we never outgrow the fascination of "gas" whether orally or from the other end.

Whenever someone burps or flatulents(yes, I know it's an adjective but I am using it as a verb, alrighty?), we all laugh...

I guess the question is, why is the same "gas" joke funny every single time...but we don't laugh at the knock knock jokes anymore as adults...

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

To You, Patrick...

2009-09-25T07:39:00.000-07:00

I was in the bathroom when da wife yelled to me, "honey, Patrick Swayze died!!!"

I was not feeling too well already and was sitting on the throne contemplating about lungs and mucous...and the news of Patrick Swayze sent me to a series of hard coughs and tears...

I grew up with Patrick Swayze, in a way...

From "The Outsiders", to "Dirty Dancing", to "Ghost", to some of his more notoriously bad movies such as "Road House" to his poking fun at himself on SNL...

I've always enjoyed him. In all his interviews, he never showed cockiness nor narcissism that we often see with movie stars that had made it big.

He was always humble and always gave credits to his mother/parents and his wife.

His marriage was one that is rare in Hollywood. He stayed married...

And there was a je ne sais quoi quality about him that made him appeal to both sexes.

Kinda like a bromance for me. LOL

I just thought that he was always cool and a nice guy.

When I found out that he was battling cancer, it was as if one of my family members was battling cancer...

when we found out that he died, we felt like a family member died....

da wife would still watch "Dirty Dancing" every time it comes on TV, even though we have the anniversary, director's cut edition. She still watches the edited and commercial version on TV everytime it comes on.

His "Outsiders" work introduced me to him and when I saw Dirty Dancing, I wanted to emulate him and become him, the "Bad Boy" that gets "baby" where "nobody puts Baby in the corner."

I wasn't too much into "Ghost" but I liked it enough to watch it a couple of times.

Even though critics hated "Road House". I enjoyed it for it's brainless macho man type of none sense yet if one watches closely. He did his form of Tai Chi (not a true form) that incoporated some peace into the violence.

His SNL sketch with Chris Farley was hysterical...where he poked fun of himself as a Chip N Dale chipmunk/stripper wanna be...

I am glad they paid tribute to him on "Dancing with the Stars". I usually don't watch it but da wife does, and she told me that they'd paid tribute to him so I tuned in.

it was well done...and we both had tears in our eyes watching the dancers performing and paying homage to his fabulous dances in "Dirty Dancing".

Rest in peace, Patrick.

To us, you were truly one of the shiny stars of Hollywood.

Mistreatment Of An Athlete...

2009-09-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

The South Afraican track star, Semenya, has been in the spotlight recently.

She was tested for misrepresenting her gender (They had thought that she was a man posing as a woman and competing in women's sport).

It turns out that she has both sex organs but in the medical world, is considered female with a birth defect (because the male sex organs are useless).

In the first place, that the sport didn't respect her privacy and conducted the testing in private bothers me...

Yes, they are athletes and are in the lime light, but that doesn't mean that they don't have the rights to certain privacies.

It left a bad taste in my mouth.

While folks out there may argue that she has unfair advantages because she produces more testosterone. Let me just say that there is a BIG percentage of highly competitive female athletes that USE enhanced hormones to help them improve their perfomances. They are just smart to pass the drug/steroid tests, that's all.

It's the elephant in the room. When we see those highly muscular female athletes and want to believe that it's "normal".

We all know that it is very hard for females to get "cut" or muscular without high dose of testosterone. And females, as a rule, does NOT create high levels of testosterone. That's why there are men and women.

To think that a lot of the extreme muscular female athletes got there without enhanced hormones is really beyond me. But, because they don't get caught during testing, there is no way to prove it.

People know this, the athletic association knows this, but since it is now a "norm". I have come to accept it because there is still a 50% part that comes from genetics and another % that comes from hardwork and then the hormones. OK, that's the life they've chosen. I can respect that.

This is where I get a bit implacable...

When these female athletes are complaining about Semenya as a man....they are arguing that a man has an unfair advantage over women because of the testosterones.

(but I'll bet that any of them will be willing to say that they can outrun any men when they are out drinking at a bar because they also feel that a woman can do anything a man can do, and I AGREE with that statement, women are our equals)

So, this is where my beef is. If these women believe that in the first place, that they are men's equals, why complaint?

In the second place, if a lot of them ARE using the hormones, why are they griping? Because they have to endure the painful shots and Semenya don't?

And no, I don't believe a male athlete should compete in a female sport unless it is sanctioned or there is a omni-sex sport.

By the way, I have always laughed whenever I saw "uni-sex" signs meaning for both sexes. Because "uni" means ONE and that means one sex. When they should say "Omni" which means all. Just thought I'd throw that in for some indigestion thought....

In the third place. If there ARE questions, why wasn't it done discreetly??

The association should discrete the privacy and publicity of it's athletes and protect them all.

In the grand scheme of things, we are all human beings. And there was no need to humiliate Semenya. All she did, was to rise to a star and run. From poverty stricken to a star.

I had thought that would be inspiring...

and now, she has disappeared because she's embarassed...and all because of some jealous folks that actually covet what Semenya has that they want in the first place....

natural testosterones....

think, you athletic association people!! Think about humanity...and leave them some dignity...

talk about a kick in the balls....

A Woolf That Died A 1000 Deaths....

2009-09-25T06:51:00.001-07:00

I know Virginia Woolf's life has been written, debated, dissected, criticised, idolized, and immortalized by a ton of critics.

I am here to do the same, I guess...LOL Although I am not a critic, I only play one on my blab...

she has been on my mind a lot lately, though....

I am still quite sick as of late. My latest battle is this on going aspiration and the annoying coughs that accomodate it that takes all my strength and might to perform such "hacking" act...

speaking of Aspirating...

"Woolf" to me, is a bit of an aspirating tone. I've heard it pronounced "hwoolf" as well as "Woof"

and both from scholars...so, I have no idea what the proper pronounciation of "Woolf" is, but I like the aspirating tone better, so, I'll stick with "hwoolf"

Heckit, I feel so close to Virginia I'll just call her "Gina"....

Gina committed suicide in March, 1941. My birthday is in March.

She suffered severe depression from time to time in her life as do I...

She married a man that she said truly made her happy, I married a woman that truly made me happy.

She had a lesbian affair, this is where we differ and depart. LOLOL

Her writings can make me a bit angry at times because she does have a narrow view on certain things and it makes me bite my tongue a bit for that such brilliance of a mind can become so opinionated and narrow minded on certain subjects yet, it is her brilliance in her lyrical writings that rocks me with out with her beautiful use of language.

It is her ability to intensify through common means that really makes me take notice of her writings.

All the subtleties come together to shoot through the heart and makes one think, cringe, gripe, then sigh...it's a sigh that is mixed with wonders and amusement with a touch of vinegar and bitter medicine...

In her last letter to her husband:

"I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I cant recover this time.

I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do.

You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be.

I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came.

I can't fight any longer.

I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work.

And you will I know.

You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read.

What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you.

You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it.

If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.

Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness.

I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.

V."

there are no harsh words in this last letter to her husband. It is full of praise to him. Yet, it spoke of such sorrow....she's telling him that if anyone in this world could save her, it would be him...yet even HE, could not save her from the beast..

As I have battled depression without feeling loved for so many years and now having someone that loves me so much, unconditionally, and that I KNOW and ACCEPT and FEEL the love and am so immensely happy...

I still understand what Gina was trying to say...

in that moment of weakness and despair...it just seems like NOTHING can hold us back...

not even LOVE....

yet, I must say that this is where Gina and I depart yet once again...

I KNOW that my wife loves me and I know that if I hold on another second longer...that it'll be OK again...

This is where Gina makes me mad....that she didn't hold out and let the beast took over....

But she also suffered greatly with the beast...supposedly sexually abused by two of her brothers when she was a young child. The losing of her mother at young age and then her father at young adult age and then her home.

Those scars are perpetually etched in her...and who am I to judge or say how deep her pain was...

because when I read her books, I can feel some of her pain...and they are intense, immense, and ingrained.....

I'd like to learn how to write like her...but with a broader sense...

Perhaps it is those scars that made her opinions askewed and narrowed....but in a way, it gives us a clue and a view to a world that is not so uncommon in this world that we live in...and how lucky we are, in a way, to have her to voice those pains for those that are going through it now and will be....

everything happens for a reason....while pain is still pain....good can come out of the pain....

in another way, she was greatly loved, by her husband, and by her lover of the same sex....

I sometimes find her critics try to delve and dissect her too much and they somehow lose Gina's true self...

perhaps, she is as simple as she is complicated...it reveals so in her writings...

and sometimes, we simply make her too complicated....

such is life, I guess...and life is such....

It's A True Mythconception...

2009-09-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

I got about 7 emails so far of folks telling me that they remembered it was "Hercules" being the son of Zeus from the Greek myths they've read in school(mostly, high school)

I remembered that myself during high school. That is why when I read Edith Hamilton's books in college, I felt betrayed (and corrected. LOL) by the text books of high schools.

Somebody should pay for this mythconception....

Anyways, thanks for the emails. I've enjoyed reading the little anecdotes. :-)

speaking of Greeks....

I have been craving Gyros (pronounced, Yee-roh)...

I am thinking about writing about my experience in Greece years ago. That was one of the bestest places that I'd ever visited....I even got to see Poseidon, well, sorta...

I've also have been thinking a lot about Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Alexander the Great today. How they have helped shaped this western world...

interestingly enough, talked to a friend today who is starting to read "The Odessey" and got into quite a bit of interesting conversation with him. I might just dust off the ole Odessey and Illiad for a refresher read.

Which reminds me, at the end of the Illiad, a clue was left and Virgil took advantage of that and wrote the "Aeneid".

long story short. Basically, when the Greeks defeated the trojans, Aeneas escaped from Troy and through trials and tribulations eventually became the father of the Romans.

I love it when a writer can take a cue and run with his imagination and creating a whole another book.

Which reminds me a bit of Mark Twain. He was definitely a brilliant man.

I still love this adapted poetry he did of Bromely's:

Conductor, when you receive a fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,
A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!

Punch brothers! Punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjare

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

which has been translated to French Fries:

Ayant ete paye, le conducteur,
Percera an pleine vue du voyageur,
Quand il recoit trols sous un coupon vert. &c.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what cracked me up is when I found the Latin Version of this...

Pungite, fratres, pungite,
Pungite, cum amore,
Pungite pro vectore,
Diligentissime pungite.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From Twain, my mind shifts to the diaries of Samuel Pepys.

ole Sam served under King Charles II during the restoration period and apparently was one of the best diary keepers of his time.

Lots of juicy gossips and Charles II's affairs to the black plague was written in this diary.

Maybe one day I'll do a condensed version of it plagued with Malapropism/relatism and do it some injustice. LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of Sam. I am in the mood to watch some "Cheers"....

I am using Cheers detergent, btw. No relation to "Cheers" on TV.

As soon as I just hear the "Cheers" theme song, I already know that I was going to be relaxed and laugh....

So, play it again, Sam...

Actually, "Wings" is just as fun to watch as "Cheers"

Somebody has recommended me to watch "Curb your enthusiasm" and I think I might give that a try eventually...

well, this truly was a rambling rant, it started no where and went no where....means absolutely nothing to nobody, even me...LOLOLOLOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well, eventually, I think I will write and put my own thoughts on the writers that I've mentioned...maybe even throw in "Gilgamesh" just make it interesting. And how they have shaped my way of thinking (and my friends think I was born with a naturally WARPED brain).

Little do my friends know, my brain was shaped by these philosophers/literary behemoths that imbrued my thinking and has now made me a stinker...

Of Hercules And China

2009-09-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, Hercules is NOT, I repeat, NOT Chinese. But they are paired together in this blab for a reason...

Before I got sick as three dogs ripped up in the night by Summer's Eve, I started reading the Greek Myths to the kids.

Da wife and I take turns reading to them each night(more often, she than I. LOL) and she sticks to more of the traditional books: Mother Goose, Dr. Seuss, fairy tales, Frog and Toad, and such.

I like the traditional and classics also, but I am more of a Greek Myth dude.

I spent the first 11 years of my childhood growing up in another country. So, I wasn't doctrinated (we all know "doctrinated" is NOT a real word, LOL)and iterated with the more traditional Mother Goose or Dr. Seuss.

I read more of the world wide known stories such as the fairy tales and the myths.

but I digest yet, again...

Anyways, it seems that the push for the new(original) name for Hercules is back.

More and more, I am seeing Hercules being referred to as "Herakles" or "Heracles"

If I remember Edith Hamilton's books correctly, she referred to him as "Heracles"

in this Children's edition of Greek Myths, he's referred to as Herakle. OK, fine...

I have no problem with that.

My problem is, WHEN was this decided? Most people know Hercules as, well, HerCULES.

Even Disney has acknowledged him as Hercules. (to the smart readers, this is where my main point would be. Disney has named Hercules as a "Greek Hero" when in Greek, Herakles is the right term and Hercules is the ROMAN myth. But Disney has made Hercules a Greek Myth....)

The problem with these newer books is that they do not make footnotes nor side notes that "Herakles" is also "Hercules".

So, if our kids grow up, and they talk to people of another generation about Herakles (oh yeah, it'll come up in casual conversations, just like HARPOON!!), would the older generation know that the kids are talking about "Hercules" or try to correct them and say, "look, it's NOT Herakles, OK? It's Hercules."

I can see my kids arguing with them back and then they'll say, "oh yeah? Well, I am going to go home and ask my papo and he'll come and straighten you out."

And that I'd have to get involved somehow and have to go correct someone that it is actually Herakles. And chances are, that person would be 6'4" and weigh 260 lbs and beat me up like Hercules....

I am not sure who the nimrod was that decided that it would be Hercules...

Apparently, there was a meeting and somebody decided that it would from now on, be Herakles instead of Hercules. But remember, it is also Heracles... (this is based on my own "Herakles, the conspiracy theory" theory)

but either way, I've missed the memo and nobody bothered to inform me about the perm. change...

So, what does Herackles (pronounced, "HER-ACALS", OK, not really, it is Her-rack-lees. I just had a quick thought, the person that made it Hercules might have been hard of hearing and thought Her-rack-lees sounded like Her-kwe-lees...*rolling my eyes here...) has to do with China? Well, nothing, really....

btw, re: the hearing problem? It happens, try saying "Mashed or Baked" really fast in a crowded room and see if you get stared at. LOL

I wonder what Agatha Christie would do with the "Hercule Poirot"

probably wouldn't care less....LOL

Herakle(no S) Poirot....hmmmmmmmmmm....

but then again, he's Belgian, not Greek.

Known for his Waffles and fries, not Super human strength and powerful thighs

great at sleuthing, not slashing

Deductive reasoner, not seductive seasoner (Herc was quite a playboy, it seemed)

and really, Hiscule or Hisakles would make more sense than Her, wouldn't it?

(OK, to those that are more cultured than I am, they would know that Hercules is Roman and Heracles/Herakles is Greek. I know that. But I am talking in terms of general population's conception and knowledge of the said Hercules/Heracles and let's face it, Greek and Roman Gods often get confused and crossed-over. LOL

I am also blabbering about how the the popular medium can mislead the general public. In this case, Disney.

They named him "Hercules" the more popular name but placed him in a Greek Myth.

The Hercules/Heracles argument is done tongue in cheek but it is done on purpose, just in case I have critics out there.LOL )

hmmmmmmm

OK, China...

Apparently, the "Ching" Dynasty, the last Dynasty of China is now spelled "Qing" Dynasty.

But, the pronunciation is STILL the same. And now, they have gone and ruined the rule of "Q" that usually goes with "U"...

"Q" now has a "CH" sound...

I know why they changed it. The Ching Dynasty sounds and looks a lot like the Chin' Dynasty.

The main dialect of Chinese (Mandarin) has four basic sounds.

Chin' has the second sound and is a completely different word from the "Ching", which has the first sound.

The other reason is debated underground.

The "Chings" were a nomadic tribe from the north that came and conquered China's Ming Dynasty.

The Chin's and the Ming's and a few other dynasties had the "Han" as the main Chinese Ethnic group.

As a matter of fact, in this day and age, there still seem to be quite a bit of people that still want to differentiate themselves....separating the Hans from the Chings. And to be honest with you, they all look alike to me...and I can say that because I am Chinese. Actually, these are true observation facts and anyone can say it, really. LOL

And really, it's good to know and understand it from a historically point of view. But in this day and age, it really is not necessary to separate the different ethnic groups(Although I am sure there will be those that will say to me, "oh yeah, does that mean that you don't want the Tibetans to become independent? And what about the Mongols, they declared independence!" That is a whole separate issue and too political....).

We all need to work together with one another in this global village...anyways...

a third reason is also that the "Ching" have been associated with that negative word: Chink

But to me, why would it matter...because it's not like they changed the pronunciation of "CH" when using "Q"....

and what's funny, according to my underground source, the people that argued that "Ching" be changed to "Qing" so the association of "Chink" would not be linked (yeah, right!) are actually mainly asserted by the "han" chinese...

confucious yet? me too...

so, if someone were to call me a "Qink"...I would still know that he/she called me that, wouldn't I????

Anyways, this is all making me wanting some Qeese...

and if I were to read a fairy tale to the kids, would I say, "Prince Qarming??"

The fastest animal in the world is a...Qeetah

Please Qime in anytime, I look forward to any Qit Qat.

Speaking of fairy tales or faery tales depending on if you were at the meeting and missed the memo or not...

(and really, there are way too many pundits out there making these unnecessary Qanges out there, if you ask me...*rolling my eyes here again)

There are a lot of "experts" out there bashing faerie tales these days....

OK, I can see their points.

There really isn't such thing as "happily ever after"

And the stories are too "pretty and perfect"

Actually....

if we were to nitpick a bit...Fairy Tales actually had poignant origins.

The original Anderson tales and Brothers Grimm tales frequently had raw and grotesque descriptions in them.

For example, Cinderella's step sisters had parts of their feet cut off when they were trying on the glass slipper. Snow White's hunter brought the queen a hog's heart and liver(or was it kidney) and she unabashedly laughed her evil laugh and ate the organs aforementioned.

It took later "sQolars" to clean up the fairy tales and made them more perfect.

It really took Walt Disney to give it the nice polished stories.

I can understand that there will be folks that will argue that the Qildren do NOT need to read about the hearts and livers being ingested by the evil queen. But back in those days, they needed to educate the kids and they believed in shocking them.

My own take on fairy tales is that I like it.

I read quite a bit of them while I was growing up and it nourished the romantic side of me.

We all need to have some sort of dreams and romanticism to help keep us vital and keep us young in our hearts. To dismiss the fairy tales is to kill the dreams. And I am not just talking about the mainstream fairy tales, I am speaking of any types of fairy tales from anywhere...

I am not saying to NOT to be practical. We should be, as parents, to help guide them and remind them that happily ever after is very hard work.

These days, there are too many romanticisms lost. Youtube and Ur Foot phones abound and people are too busy watQing the latest craze on these mediums. They want the latest shocking video vs. a prince or princess or even Herakles in their lives.

they want that instant gratification of their peers. But they don't want to work too hard at them.

They are faced with a world in Qaos and they cannot escape it with all the medias(outlets) out there.

Who would believe that Cinderella can have a Prince Qarming when a lot of what they read and absorb out there are killers on the loose, Qild molesters being set free, shooting right around the sQool corner...

it's sad...

Speaking of Romanticism, Latin seems to be making a nice comeback. That's nice to know.

I enjoyed writing papers on them and Qanging all my "U's" to "V's" and then argVed my point on why I needed to.

In classical Latin, "V" was more like a "W" and was sometimes pronounced as a soft "Weh"

So, when we pictvre the valiant Jvlivs Orange Caesar Salad (and some ervdite pvndits ovt there may say "Cesar") saying "Vēnī, vīdī, vīcī" we can argvably state that he might have sovnded more like Porky Pig because it wovld have sovnded like: Weeni, Weedi, WeeQi

I came, I wrote, I blabbed....

I've Been "Harpooned"

2009-09-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Well, one of my very best friend, Toby aka, Tobyone (we are both Star Wars® fans and I am sometimes known as jEdi Groundrunner[definitely esoteric for those that are NOT Star Wars® fans) sent me an email after my "harpoon" post. LOL

He's in the military and he sent me a photo of the missile that they affectionately called :Harpoon

and that sucker IS huge tuckered underneath them jet hot wings...I'd hate to be the one that projectile is aimed at...

speaking of Tobyone, he lives in Michigan currently. It's been years since I've seen him physically yet we have stayed closed friends.

I am very glad that I am at a point in my life that I have quite a bit of friends like Tobyone that may live far away and we may not be in touch too often, but whenever we would, it would be like no days had passed between us.

I was just thinking about this today, that if this was me years ago, when I was going through my low self-esteem phase(s), I would be too insecure to have true friends such as oh Tobyone. I would be smothering people to death wondering if I'd done them wrong or if they didn't like me or if I'd offended them and would've hounded them all to death.

I am so glad that I am NOT that person anymore...
(this is where I would shamelessly plug my post about my battle with low self-esteem, LOL :
http://bitsbytesandpieces.blogspot.com/2009/08/look-out-window-sometimes.html )

We have been truly blessed with really awesome friends, and not just one or two, but many many....

when I had to go in to my surgery, it was when we found out truly, how blessed we were with all the well wishes and helps offered and love poured toward us....

I told da wife that if I would've died on the operating table, there would've been no regrets for me. I am pretty secure (80% of the time) with myself these days that I know these friendships are solid.

There are days that I still battle with the demons of depression and other stuff that can mess with one's mind. But that's minor now...

I count myself one of those very lucky ones...

speaking of lucky, I am finally feeling like a human again and no more "sick as three dogs that were blinded by the night and ripped up like a douche in the middle of the night..."

I finally feel like somewhat of a human again...well, maybe not human..more like a monkey/primate type...but at least, I am erect again....

HEY, I mean that I can walk UPRIGHT!! I swear, people always get their heads into the gutter....LOL

do people wonder where bands get their names from??

Three Dogs Night singing about a Bull frog on Shambala...LOL

Manfred Mann...nuff said....

I know their sister band...WomenFried Women, and they sang about "brightened by the sight....revved up by a jockstrap, another player in the night...Mr. Runner's Bums...."

speaking of fried...

I finally had fried food today, I've been craving it....and I paid the price because I still have a swollen throat and it was not fun swallowing them, but they sure did tasted good....

As soon as they were on the plate, I struck them with my fork like fishies being harpooned...

AHA! THERE! I JUST USED HARPOON IN A SENTENCE!!!

So there........ :p

Relatisms

2009-09-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

Amongst my deepest of thoughts today, I have been thinking a lot about Desmond Tutu....

I am wondering about his brothers, Almond OneJuan, Raymond ThreeTrees, Demon FourFore, Roman FiveFife, and most important of all, youngest brother, Tito Jackson...who went to Oz with Dorothy....

Chinese Actor Chow Yun Fat, his brother, Chew Old Thin...

Jet Li and his brother, Jet Blue

Lady Gaga and her sister, Woman Googoo

Britney Speares and her brother, Grainy Halberd

of course, I never get tired of Yo Yo Mar...or his sister, Ho Ho Subpar....

I am not sure why, but I am now craving Chinese Food....(this is truly non sequitur....LOLOL)

Deep Thought(s): 09/09/09

2009-09-09T19:53:00.000-07:00

I've read quite a bit of articles today that 09/09/09 is going to be (well, it's almost 12am here) magical.

I think it is, because I am having quite a bit of deep thoughts today....

one of them:

Does the humerus find the funny bone hilarious? And vice versa?

My JOCKular and testicular bones think so...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rumor has it that Google (play on Googol) and Apple might merge to form "cloud computing"

computing on clouds....I hope they don't plan on wiping too many butts that will buy into their platform...

I actually kind of like the idea. The idea of all the softwares and applications on a central internet computer while all we have to do, is buy a base computer and connect it to the internet.

No more worrying about extra harddrives, no more worrying about downloading another program or anti-virus program or word processor program or ANY programs.

but, they'd better be good, because all the information will be on the net, and it only takes ONE hacker to get through to it and access a butt-load of information.

Speaking of Googol, this base 8 system which is actually a base two system drives me bananas sometimes.

I have hard enough of a time working with the imperial system and converting them to a base 10 system. Working in this field (computer related), the base 8's make it quite interesting.

bits, bytes, and butts...I think that's deep thought...LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like Johnny Depp, I'd like to see him in a Main Stream movie where he plays a romantic leading man. He's playing too many weird characters(with the upcoming "Wonderland") and I'd like to see him do a couple of straight shooters. Maybe he can play a Mogul for Googol that goes goo goo ga ga....

Change the first "p" in Depp with an "e" and we get yet another "DeEp" thought....heh...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have been seeing this a lot, "We guarantee this product with a life time warranty"

whose life time?? I actually asked somebody that sold me a product a few months ago this question and they didn't know how to answer it.

Then he said, "well, the life time of this product..."

I then asked him, "and HOW LONG is this product expected to live?"

It was a relatively new electronics product....

I find it interesting that companies are offering "life time warranty" for products that have just came out and are untested....

it would be like a Pizza shop offering warranty for their pizza....

"We offer a life time warranty for this pizza, but once it goes past your digestive system, the warranty will be null and voided..."

caviar emptor!!

wait, not fish eggs, me moron!!

caveat empty!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Use the word "harpoon" in a daily normal sentence.

"yesterday, I went outside and I accidentally harpooned my neighbor's dog."

does anyone still "harpoon?????"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am really happy to read about NASA and the Space Shuttle finally able to head toward the space station, but....

what if nobody wants to be a garbage man and everyone become rocket scientists?

Every mother probably has told their kids to beomce a rocket scientist...that's great! But what if it becomes true??

Who will play Monday Night Football? Who will MAKE pizza?? Who will collect garbage??????

Most important of all, who's going to be "harpooning??????????!!!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well, I guess this is it, my contribution to 09/09/09...I will NEVER have another day like this for the REST of my life...

and today, I spent most of it being sick and now posting deep thoughts, it's truly been magical, I guarantee this post with a life time warranty...

Hot Blooded, Part Dirt

2009-09-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not updaing when I had stated so. I am still sick...

I cannot believe it, it's been 11 days and I am STILL sick. Come to think of it, since October of last year, I have been sick almost every month (not including being incapciated with my spinal crap).

I finally am feeling better today. Da wife even says I have "color" on my face. Apparently, I was going to be casted in the new Nosferatu movie. LOL

Speaking of which, we finally watched, "Twilight" the teen vampire movie. I never read the book (nor do I feel the need to even more).

It is definitely geared toward modern day teens. The movie overall is not too bad. It's different. But Kristen Stewart's acting was not up to par to her usual fares.

She rarely smiled in this movie. And when all the guys are chasing after her, my wife and I looked at eachother and asked, "why?"

It's not she's not attractive, but she was not friendly, nor was she gregarious, she was actually trying to put people off left and right and all the guys want to ask her to the dance....hmmmmm..

I still prefer girls that smile and I am sure most guys would, even in this day and age.

Oh, am I digesting again? Yeah....

being sick, eating becomes a chore. I stopped eating for quite a few days but finally had to force something down the other day, because I could feel my energy literally on empty. I could barely even move. To make it even tougher to swallow, my throat is still quite swollen since my surgery and swallowing was already an assiduous task.

but swallowed I did and now I am finally able to sit here and get some thoughts out. And it's funny because my brain is empty. LOL

Running fevers had its advantages, while my body was weak, my brain was on fire (literally) and I was bouncing one idea off of another, I was inventing things that I swear would become big hits or great aids. I was writing funny stories in my head...

now, only if I can remember even 1% of what I thought of. I jotted down some random thoughts and they made absolutely no sense to me.

For example: "Tibetian Monks, Applachain Trails, Copeland, and the Lochness Monster"

can somebody out there link these for me? I am sure I amused myself when I thought of it, but now, it means absolutely zilt to moi...

btw, there were a couple of times that I really craved "Hot Pocket®" and I was singing Hot Blooded (By Foreigner®[wait, did "Foreigner" registered trademarked their name? LOL])
and I actually starting singing about "Hot Pocket®" to the tune of "Hot Blooded®"

"Well I've got

Hot Pocket, cook it and see...

need to nuke it to a hundred and three...

chick and broccoli, or greasy ha-aaam and cheese...

want hot pockets, want hot pockets...

~~~~
you don't have to cheat my mime...I know that you're full of grease...

Pocket, you oughtta know....

that you taste so fine, but too much will lay me flatline....

I wanna know, what you're doing after the chow...
~~~~
now, I really need to change, to something that is leaner, oh poo....

but me and you, I need to leave you for something healthier too...
~~~~

so, I wanna

Lean Pocket®...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yeah, I know, it kinda sucks and doesn't flow....but it's my blogty and I can blab if I want to...LOL

here's another one of those random thoughts that is worth deciphering....

"Hercules and China"

I thought Hercules was Greek?? After all these years, my fevered brain had convinced me that Hercules was Chinese???

Well, maybe I can figure that one out sometimes....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there IS a plus since I've been this sick...

every time that I just wanna say heckit with it, I think of the people and friends that I know that are going through much worse than I am/have been...

and it helps move me out of bed and even though my body is tender to the core, hurts to the touch, I know that if I can get over it and live through it, that I will come back a better healthier person.

And I think of my friends that are going through life long battles with diseases that can/have consumed them. It gives me another perspective, it tells me to always look on the bright side....

which brings up another random thought that I wrote down, and this one, I will actually write about, soon...

"Ella, and riding a donkey into town, and country fried Chicken" LOL

Hot Blooded, Check It And See....

2009-09-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

....I've got a fever of a 103.... point 8, to be exact...

thanks to all those that have been checking up on me and asking me if I was going to update my blab soon.

I have been sick for almost a week now. I started having a low-grade fever this past Saturday to the high dangerous fever of 103.8 by Sunday to now I am still running a fever of around 99.7.

Thanks to da wonderful wife who's sedulous in getting my butt to the doctors, I got some anti-biotics but still have inconclusive results. This is after consulting with our family doctor and my surgeon(s). Nobody is really sure of what is going on.

For one thing, we have determined that I can't fly (I don't have swine flu, aka R2D2 inflatuenpizza, or is it called C3PO confusedenczar) which sucks because I was looking forward to making someone's impossible dream or nightmare coming true and I painted myself pink, just like a hog and bought some hot wings...

on the other hand, the mysterious origin of this fever that can't seem to go away is making me weak to my core. And it's been affecting my newly fresh just out of the oven surgery site.

Because there are no drainage issues (except with my nose) with my surge site, they have ruled out infection.

Da wife and I finally came up with our own conclusion and I think we're going to be right. Da wife thinks that because my airway is still quite swollen and obstruct and that I have been aspirating( having a lot of problems swallowing food). She has boldly stated that I might have "aspirating pneumonia". This is after she'd listen to my vital signs and tapped on my various back mussels and clams.

I am with her....

I started anti-biotic on Monday and since I've been on it, my swelling has gone down but my coughs have been going up with production of that nasty little bugger: La Mucosa De Very Sticky

it's those many bouts of heavy coughs that is enough to knock a man out, and I've been knocked out right to my knees which would buckle whenever I'd get into one those coughing fits. I haven't been eating nor sleeping the past few days and can barely sit at the table like a man.

I am finally feeling well enough to give this update and saying a sincere thanks and I plan on updating both sites within the next few days. And I just checked my temperature, 99.4. So hey, it's at least below a 100. I am such an underachiever. LOL

tomorrow, chest X-ray and blood work to find out the cause....then, "Al Be Baack"

(don't worry, blabber mouth lives on...LOL)

I GOT IT!!

2009-08-29T21:21:00.001-07:00

(I finally got that damned fruit-fly, as I defenestrate a piece of watermelon....)

*confused? http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/08/d-feeted.html (this might help. LOL)

Economics 606

2009-08-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

rule number 1: Don't buy what one cannot afford. (PERIOD)

it's a basic rule, and I, myself, have been guilty of it.

I mean, I had been a broke college student that would go an indulge on some steak house even though I couldn't afford to do it. I am not talking about those kind of indulgence.

I am talking about those things that would put one into debt. SERIOUS debt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tech shares and sales have jumped within this bad economy. Does that mean that while the economy is bad, we are actually out there buying gidgets and gadgets? I think it's true.

Intel, Dell, Apple ™, Research in Motion (blueberries ™, wait, raspberries, ummmm, dingleberries?? anyways, the one the President of the U.S uses) are all expecting good reports (and a couple of them DID have good reports this past week)

While the sales of the companies such as Bestbuy, Circuit city, and others have slumped, the tech part that they are selling are doing pretty good.

The video games, the puters, the mini-puters, cell phones, I-Pod, and Ur-foot ®, have all gained shares in sales and are reporting profits

It seems the trend is true to human psychology. When the economy and the money goes bad, we buy thing to make ourselves better.

Things that we often don't need, though...

now, it's different if it was something small, like a cup of $8.66 Crappucino ® @ Crapdoes, or paying $4.50 for a scoop of Chocolate/Mango/Garlic ice cream mixed with Gummy Bears ® and peas and carrots.

I am talking about $200 for an Ur-Foot™ Phone or $175 for a Dingleberry™ and then paying $75 a month service charge just so one can twitter. (I am referring to those that often says, "I am broke" but are out buying and paying for these things folks)

I've been keeping a close eye on the market reports, the 10/20/30 year bonds, the European Market, the Asian Market, Market in Dubai, and here in the U.S

our economy remains "BAD" amongst the big boys and girls.

Japan and Europe have declared that they are out of a recession(whether you believe it or not, it's in the reports, I always am cautious with the "reports" but for the arguments sake, let's just believe it's true)

The U.S economy remains unhopeful.

Unemployment is high, might reach 10% in a couple of month.

consumer sales index is low.

YET, the financials are making profits (think about this for a minute, if a company starts from ZERO (or about 1% debt and is 99% debt free, they ARE going to see profits!)

But the financial profit is a QUASI one (Yes, I am making a bold prediction here while I am not one of those talking heads on CNBC, I DO USE COMMONSENSE).

The banks are NOT loaning money, they've raised every charges they can think of that they can get away with legally: late fees, interest fees, and NEW fees that are unheard of in the past.

Every other day, we'd get a notice from one of our credit card companies saying this rate has increased, that rate has increased, there is a new charge for if you do this and/or that...and in the meanwhile, it's getting harder and harder to get loans for anyone including BIG businesses.

And we still haven't seen a true commercial property narket crash yet (hold on tight to your seats, folks, I can smell it coming). I believe it is coming.

most bankers and realtors I talk to believe it is coming.

Yes, there are sales of existing homes on the rise. But has anyone drove by one of those "model-home" open subdivisions? They are deader than a doorknob and they take up a big chunk of the housing market, which is related to the credit market, which is related to the consumer index, which is related to fear.

People are losing their homes and their jobs.

But nobody wants to loan, nobody wants to help. (well, they are not really nobodies, I am talking about the financing giants, Citi™, PeePee Morgan© ® ™ , "Anyone, anyone® ™")

Instead, charges are getting higher and higher and new inventive charges are coming out of the bamboo shoots.

If one goes to a hotel, check everything listed and you might be able to save $10.00 on unnecessary charges.

Airplane tickets? Make sure you read the fine prints about luggages and even your children that used to ride free. They might charge you a toe and a finger for your child (but arms and legs are coming, my friends!)

In a way, maybe it's a wake up call we desparately need...

my friends that are serving 3 years in Europe wrote me earlier that they have truly seen how we have been pampered and greedy and gluttonous here.

I love this country, but it's true....

In the past 20 years, buffet have been popping up everywhere, all you can eat and all you can waste. (before you say, Chinese Buffet is to blame, yes, it needs to take 50% of the blame, as well as Ryan's, Golden Corral, and others)

We have had an influx of "overnight" millionaires demanding over the top uses and priviledges in airlines and hotels (I worked in the hotel industry for close to two years) as well as buidling outrageously huge houses that has 6 bedroom when only two people live in it.

We've become a "me nation" everything is about "me, me, me, me, and me..."

Wait, NO, not EVERYBODY is that way. I have wonderful wonderful friends that saved every penny, pinched everything that they can.

BUT, THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW...

they are the ONES that have lost EVERYTHING, and I HURT for them....

then, there are those that continue to waste, spend, buy, and abuse drugs and alcohol when they are complaining about how broke they are. And they are on the rise....

They'll come to my door, asking me to do a simple job, then want me to pay them $20.00 for a shoddy job. But they're the ones that'll sell me a sad story, about how their mother isn't doing well or that their kids need to be fed.

these are the people that I also see at Best Buy later, buying those new gadgets; at the local grocery store, buying the 6-pack or the 20 pack.

btw, did I mentioned that all gambling stocks are doing quite well also?

Apparently, people go gamble during economic hard times when they claim that they have NO money, but will go and spend $500.00 one night on roulette wheel.

I have no problem with people that want to gamble. I like to gamble myself...but gamble with the money that one does not have never made any sense to me. Yet, it is those that are hopeful that they ARE the ones that will hit the jackpot that CLAIM that they are broke, that often frequent the casinos...

and the casinos ARE greedy. They don't care if one has no money to gamble. They will entice one with more credits than they'll ever be able to payback intheir life time, then stuck them with outrageous charges until they suck it all in...

oh, did I "Digest" again?? More like "indigestion" and I need some Pepe-le-peu Pistmal.

Back to the tech stuff....

I love the I-PODS, and I am a techno-phile...

'til this day...I still haven't plunged and gotten an I-pod yet...

I don't have problems with people wanting I-Pods. My problem remains that I'll hear these folks that own the newest games, playstation 3, Wii, X-Box 360,the newest I-phone, the blackberries, and the newest computer and then tell me how broke that they are...and I look at them and I'd look at their brand new game console in their entertainment center and their newest gadget that is hanging around their waist and I want to smack them and go, "WASSA da matta wif you!!!!!"

I don't have a problem with the "DREAM". Free enterprises and free markets and such. I don't want to tell people not to build bigger houses or have bigger yards. I encourage freedom and free thoughts. But, when I look around, and I see people suffering and hungry and are broke. The ones that have worked hard all their lives only to have their savings sucked into a blackhole, it makes me angry....

and I want to take out my ugly stick and go and whoop me some (_!_)'s<---------"THE" end....

opposisms

2009-08-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

btw, I have found out the other day, that I often use "opposisms" also...

and while I find it funny, I am often met with blank stares by the kids.

like little dude and I were talking about toys the other day and it got on to the subject of Yo-Yo's...

and of course, it made me think of Yo-Yo Mar...

he did think that the name was funny and inquired as to who he was, I mimed it to him and made noise that I thought sounded like a cello but it sounded more like a washboard being played by Guitar Hero III ® wanna-bes...

but then, I started telling him that I knew Yo-Yo's brother, So-So Par...

he rolled his eyes side ways while he "grinned" a Mona Lisa's smile and then had one of those puzzled looks....

it's OK, I forgave him, I told him he'd get it in about 15 years and that one day, I would find myself awake in the middle of the night hearing him laugh because he would then, get my jokes....

I anxiously await that day....no, I can't wait for that day...wait, hmmmmmmm...well, that day might never come, because I am not sure if Yo-Yo Mar would still be around, but Yo-Yo's Son, might...

I wonder if his daugher would be Mimi Mar and his son would be He-He Mar...of course, let's not forget his cousin: Fifi Apr, and Gigi May.

(to be serious and In-sequitur for a moment, not sure if there is such a word as in-sequitur,but I depress, again. Yo Yo Mar, in So So Par's case, OK, slaps self, get serious....

Yo in Mar's case, means to swim. His last name, Mar, in his case, means Horse.

The chinese philosophy has a lot to do with the water. And horses were vital to their livelihoods and economy especially in ancient China, where cities and states and countries were taken by how good their horses and horsemen were.

So in Mar's case, his name means, "to swim, to swim, horse"
in Chinese, we say our last names, first.

So, it means: "horse(y), swim and swim!"

I cannot speak on Yo Yo's behalf or his parents behalf. But I think they named Yo Yo not because they wanted him to be a ball or two cylinders on a string. But that they wanted him to always swim upstream, like a horse: of course, of course....)

D Feeted

2009-08-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

The one great thing about blogging I have come to find out, is that I can come and ramble and be personal and change my mime anytime he decides to change his routine (in case anyone is going, huh?? I am using malapropism: http://digressingnonsequitur.blogspot.com/2009/08/speaking-of-square-pegs.html).

I have been writing the past couple of days, but mainly to myself and for myself because there ARE thoughts that SHOULD be personal. But it is always good to get it out on in one form or another. But I "digest"

This whole week, my body has finally had it with me. I have regressed.

I was quite proud of myself. After about 3 doctors have told me that I would basically be bedridden for 6-8 weeks after my surgery provided that I didn't ruin myself while I am in recovery with my tics and twitches (and then their other concern is that I would have permanent damage and then they'd have to re-cut me again) to that I was walking the next day after myself. I actually was told by da wife that I stood up and asked that my catheter be taken out the DAY of my surgery and that I went to the potty standing up(but I really don't have a good recollection of that one)

I felt quite triumphant and a bit "too" confident that I was ready to prove the world wrong.

I started doing a bit of my own rehab even though I was told to "take it easy for at least 6-8 weeks"....

now, I am NOT an idiot and I wasn't doing something crazy. But there ARE days that I would do stupid things like picking up the kids because I simply felt that good (that was the second week) to flipping the mattress because the shortfellow has had another "accident"

(right now, I am trying to kill a fruit fly infront of me because all the lights are off except for the puter screen and it is drawing this little sucker in and it is following my typing as I go and annoying the heckit outta me...and the whole house echoes of my hands clapping together to try to kill this little sucker...)

it isn't that I am an idiot, but it IS that I DO forget that I did have surgery sometimes, because I don't feel "that way"...

I stopped taking my pain medicines at the end of the second week and just decided to live with the pain. The pains were mostly referral pains although I am not sure who referred them to me. I wish they'd stop doing that. I'd rather have a hot blonde referred to me than the pain, ya know? (Just kidding, mon lovely wife[she reads here sometimes, *insert innocent smiling hubby graphic here])

but here I am, into the beginning of my fifth week, and this whole week has been crappy...

I think I've developed a "just out of surgery, extremely helpful in-laws just left, da wife is back at full time at work, back to school and two kids are driving me insane and making me dizzy and in daze" syndrome.

Let me explain (as one knows that I will already, HA!)

I didn't realize how much I'd miss my in-laws, they were here for a month. 1 week prior to my surgery and left this past Monday.

The kiddos started school last week and my mother in law has been a tremendous help in getting them ready, help picking them up (one gets out at 11:30am, the other at 3:15pm), cooking, cleaning, and a host of other things while I am told to just sit here and do nothing.

although I try to help some, I do have to admit that I DID took advantage of the fact that I DID have surgery and that the doctor DID tell me NOT to do anything (Even though I didn't listen too well) and that I DID get a bit lazy...

nothing prepared me for this past Monday's chaos.

I have been insomnic for almost two weeks now.

Now, I have always been insomnic, throughout my life. When the kids got here, I would end up going to bed early and rise early and we settled into a nice little routine, and I am NOT a man of routine. I like to eat when I want to and come and go as I please while imbruing my otherwise, very routine wife into the same free canonLESStic person that I am. I really am a bad influence, I know.

I had become a person of routine out of necessity, not wanting.

So, while my in-laws were here, I've became a man of wonton soup again...wait, I meant, wanton routine again (does anybody still use wanton? Or do they use texting like: WTS (for wonton soup for wanton?? I swear, some kid wrote an essay one time using wonton instead of wanton in one of my classes, it wasn't me, I swear!!).

My doctor's check up have given me the perfect excuse. They told me that insomnia is natural with my type of surgery.

HEY! COOL! MORE ALONE TIME TO DO WHATEVER I WANTED! WHICH IS NOTHING!!

So, there was this past Monday, August 24th, 2009, to be exact. Where I didn't slept well the night before, I got up to get the kids ready, and the next thing you know, there were milk and cereals everywhere, socks were flying and uniforms unimpressed. Shoes that didn't want to be tied and when the hair was asked to be brushed, it was used on the kitten instead...

Snots kept on coming out and won't stop and I didn't have to clue on how to stop it except to unroll a half of a whole roll of toilet tissue (we'd ran out of tissues) and stuffed it in his pocket and told him to take a couple (I even stuck out my fingers (two, to be exact) and showed him TWO sheets with my mime/stewardess impression)and blow into it when he needed.

I then asked him if he understood me which he nodded emphatically and assured me that he'd got it.

of course, he used the whole freaking half of a whole roll on our way to school in ONE blow and then told me to hold it for him as he handed me this big wad of nasty crumpled TP...then, he immediately sneezed again and before I could hand him back the "Paper, formerly known as the TP", he already wiped his nose with his elbow and then sneezed again and as I rushed to him to wipe his nose, he already used the bottom of his uniform...

ever seen sticky wiped snot on a blue navy uniform? It is VERY distinct. There was NO way to cover that, or clean that. The more I wiped on his shiny new blue navy uniform with the PFKATTP(Paper, formerly known as the TP, I just realized that the Acronym is harder than typing out the whole freakin' phrase), the worse the snots got. They got quite snooty with me....and decided to spread themselves...

not only did the snot snooted me. The TP themselves have now decided to leave a trail of "bits" around the uniform. Any kindergarten experts would take a look at his shirt and go, "yep, it's 'nother one of them daddys that wiped their kids' new blue navy uniform with toilet papers child...poor kid, he'll be scarred for life...we're gonna have to report his dad to social services now, this is considered child abuse..."

In the meanwhile, grand daughter is happily giggling picking up all the flowers on the road. And of course, she had to wear WHITE uniform that day and the red flowers left petal marks on her shirt.

Now, they are extremely cute children, and I am not bragging about that. They have faces of angels but demeanors of hellions (sometimes).

But now, they looked like a couple of children raised by the wolves(I swore I shaved that day and actually looked like a human being).

After I dropped them off, I was already extremely tired. My in laws then left and my body started to ache...

I haven't ached like that, not even since my surgery. All the referral pains decided to come a knocking. And they were referring more and more of their relatives...

and for the next few days, I slept even less/worse, got more pains, and even though my check up went well at the doctors, who assured me that my X-ray looked OK, that I am bound to have those bad days....

"Well, TOUGH SNOOTY SNOOTS!!!!!!"

I AM WHINING!!!

today, I finally came down with a fever....one that robbed me of my senses and left me as a headless horseman...yeah, I am now one of the four headless horsemen of Note Tray D' Arm"

every joint is super sensitive and every muscle aches to the touch...do the kids care?? Well, in a way, they really do....but as soon as I'd ask them to keep it down, somebody yells and screams...

as soon as I'd ask them to try and behave, they have to touch this and that...and today, of all days, I, against all rules of nature and well heeds and admonitions from da wife, stubbornly took them all to get their uniforms.

She tried putting her foot down, even her hands down and finally, the whole weight of her body

(hold on, I have to try to kill that stupid fruitfly again, it's back...)

but I wouldn't budge, because there was no chance tomorrow, it's a Sunday and most of the shops would be closed. And they really needed new uniforms...I hadn't told her about the snooty snots, yet. Nor the chocolate milk that had been spilled on a daily basis, but I have a feeling she's onto me, and the kids...but I think she just washes them without yelling at me, that's all...

so, the stubborn ole me and da wife, and two active hyper children, went shopping and it took a whole day...even da wife was exhausted, bless her heart...

then, I came home and whined and only to find out that I have had a fever all day....

and I AM COMPLAINING!!

HA!!!!

well, yeah...I am.....

because I am actually writing this out to MYSELF that I need to be more sensitive to others and that I am NOT proving anything...

I am also writing because I probably won't be able to remember what I am thinking about at the moment....and if I don't write this down, there would be no way to slap myself the next time that I come to read about myself...

but then again, each time that stupid fruitfly does a fly-by to distract me, I had already forgotten what I was going to write about, anyways....

OH!!!!!

I came to write about HOW defeated I have been feeling this whole week with my regression of my surgery/pain...

how did it ended up being about the kids again?????

hooroo!!!

2009-08-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

well, it's almost 10pm, I was just re-reading some of my posts last night and I had to laugh at my odd self. Well, not laughing, grinning...more like it...

It's funny how one's brain doesn't make sense EVEN MORE after few nights of no rest and no sleep....

but it's all good.... I don't know if I would been as brave or as crazy to have written some of the things that I'd written if I wasn't so tired...

I think I will actually sleep very well tonight...

I had a date with my dear wife today. It was very nice. Just the two of us for a couple of hours...

we talked about a lot of things but it always came back to the children....

eating some salad would remind us of how one of the kids ate his/her veggies.
having some intelligent conversation that might have a "buzz" word of something the kids have said would send us laughing....

The funniest thing about the with this whole experience (I am not talking about dinner, but the life of being single, to married, to now having TWO kids)is that except for maybe a few weeks in my whole entire life, I cannot say that I have ever wanted to have children.

don't get me wrong. I kinda like them. I love them when they are other peoples'...I make the best uncle...I play with them for an hour or two and then I give them back, sweat, dirt, and all...

My biggest fear for myself when we were getting our grandkids was not just if they'll accept me. But if I'll love them like a PARENT should...

it's something that seems so easy as a given and natural yet so intangible and incomprehensible as quantum physics...

I don't have that "maternal" ....wait...paternal instinct that a lot of people have. I loved being single toward the later stage of my life and I treasure my time with my wife.

When it were just the two of us, it was like heaven on earth....freedom to do whatever and whenever and however...

but now, we have to schedule everything...including just going out to have dinner...

where it used to be we can just say, "let's go somewhere to eat tonight..."

"ok, let's go!" and off we'd went

to now, "let's go out to eat..."

"but, what about the kids??"

then, the questions of should we bring them,should we get someone to watch them, what would they eat, who do we get to eat them, I mean, watch them....

and by the time all thoughts and options have been processed, we usually just have mac and cheese...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I NOW know that I love them very much in my heart....I NOW that that they ARE my kids...

tonight, during dinner, my dear, lovely, beautiful, wonderful wife asked me: "honey, do you regret taking the children in?"

if it was 10 years ago, I might have said, "well, no...ok, but yeah, because I don't really want to have kids and you know, I really did just do this for her and that I really wish it were just the two of us, but ok, like, it's OK, ya know?"

but my answer today was: While I miss being alone with you and having alone time. I have NO regrets. I accept things just as they are, NOW....as it is...

does that mean that I don't miss having alone time with her?

Of course I do!!

But at the same time, I am reaping the benefits of trying to make a difference in two tiny human beings lives

in my heart of hearts, I deeply believe that EVERYONE matters....how can I convince myself and others that, if I don't take care of my OWN first???

I have this ideal in the back of my head that NO ONE, I mean, NO ONE, in this world...should suffer....I can't stand to read about any victims...victims of natural disasters, victims of war, victims of accidents, victims of health care....ANY victims are NOT allowed in my ideal....

so, how I can stand by my ideal if I fight that we should raise TWO lives....

So, here we go....the trek of raising two little people begun a few months ago, but with me debilated and not able to do much...

now, on my way to being healed and healthy again (hopefully)

I am going to enjoy whatever it is, just as it is....without giving up my principles, without giving up who I am. And I am hoping to my core, that this path that we've crossed, that we are in their lives and that they are in our lives is the RIGHT path...

and that in the end, we all take something away from each other...

Going to do it while I hold my wife's hand and hug two kids that deserve so much love in the world, because they have been in the system for 36 months in their lives.....

and now, they'll get to spend rest of the months of their lives with us until their independence

so, goodbye, alone time..

goodbye, alone with my wife time

hello, kids,

hello.......LIFE..........

And OH!!!!

I AM GOING TO BED!! HOOROOO!! (that what I came to post about actually initially...about the banality of my life! but once again, it ended up being digressing and non sequitur....and that, is just FINE, with me...)

On the tail end of -isms....

2009-08-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

When I first came to the states, people would often ask me, "where are you from?"

it depends on the given day and what my mood was and what country was the main one producing goods at the time.

"Where are you from?"

"I was made in Taiwan"

~~~~~~~~~~

"Where you from??"

"I was made in Japan"

~~~~~~~~~

these days, I answer, "I was made in China"

but with the way the Chinese imports have been getting such a bum rap lately, I've been saying "I was made in Mexico"

one day, I am going to be asking people:

"Why you foam??"

"I have Ray Bees" (I hope, will NOT be the answer)

speaking of square pegs....

2009-08-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

I often find myself quite strange, and don't fit...

I guess it's not as uncommon amongst human beings vs what I thought was uniquely mine years ago...

my self-esteem is doing pretty good so I am NOT feeling BAD about being strange and weird anymore...and I like that(the NOT feeling Bad part, that is)...

but, I still feel STRANGE and DON'T FIT...not in a negative way...just that I am STRANGE...and I really DO ponder and cogitate about my SANITY sometimes....

I think about a lot of odd things...for example, my post about fazed book and mime space. Who in their normal minds would think about stuff like that?

I have been told that I am funny but I really don't think I am...while I DO crack myself up, I often thought my brand of humor odd and out of place...

And I do often wonder, who in their RIGHT mind WOULD think that I am funny?? When I post about weird stuff(which is almost everything), I am often intrigued and flattered whenever people would think that I am funny...

but the part that I am most appreciative of all, is that I DON'T feel too strange whenever I get such a message. I then feel like, hey, there's at least ONE person out there, that GETS me!! And that really makes me feel like I am NOT alone...

And luckily, quite a few people have been getting me...
(my wife is one of my biggest fans, she laughs at almost anything that I say...LOL)

my dad was quite humorous, but because of our broken relationship, I really never appreciated his humor until.... posthumously...(it's quite an irony the way that last part sounded)

I am big into malapropism (some might call it Dogberryism or acyrologia)...

Archie Bunker used it a lot as well as Gilda Radner...
(case in point, or point in case, I like to use "Arching Bonkers" and I love Bawawa Wawa)

I often in my writings can't help but use Malapropism...such as using "rectumfy" instead of "rectify"

I also am big into Eggcornism...

I love saying "Ewe Knighted Steaks of a Merry Car" and when I say that out loud in a conversation. I usually just get the blank stares but I love it...LOL

the great thing about malapropism and eggcornism, for me, is that they never really get old. I can read the same phrase again and again and find it funny each time. While I may NOT laugh as loud each time. I would still smile...

I also like to use "Trademarknisms" LOL

like if I was to write something that has been Registered, copyrighted, or trademarked, I usually would include the symbols behind it.

such as, "the sky was so blew two date, it brought out the twinkies® in Hurr I's" (a hybrid of mal, egg,and trade-isms[I said -ism, not -ist...don't YOU -ist me!!])

today, I was joking around with some good friends (a bunch of women who were claiming that they are NOT pregnant as GOOD news...)

I was very tempted to use "Good Juice" or "Good Jews" but wondered if that would offend a Florida Orange grower or one of my dear Jewish friends...

I try not to offend. I pick on my own accent and my own ethnic background..I know there are people very sensitive to that.

My brothers, for example, are quite sensitive to the ethnic jokes of Asians where it doesn't bother me.

Fluctuations...doesn't bother me.
Flied Lice? Funny to me

I am self-defecating...yes...I am....

but I digest...

I can totally turn some master piece literature into bastard pizza crap and I've done it. Maybe I'll be grave enough to sheer them one day....at least, I'll a mouse myself with it...LOL

I even use ethnic acronymism sometimes...

such as LOL (which means laugh out loud), I have in the past, used ROR (because I find it funny that a lot of Asians use "R" instead of "L" and I would use ROR for Raugh out roud, don't get annoyed yet, my own mother does that and you don't think I'd pick on my mother, would you?)

the truth of the matter is, that it IS true...that people DO have accents and that they ARE funny...I don't think it is funny when we pick on them DIRECTLY, now, that WOULD be cruel....and I would never do that, not even behind their backs...

I do think it is funny when it is generalized, though and I would never NAME somebody directly in my teases unless I know they are comfortable with it.

Anyways, that's my own comfort level. I am NOT here to offend anyone...and if anyone feels offended. Please feel free to turn me off...LOL

anyways, back to my friends, that group of haughty women...LOLOL

as they were saying that them being NOT pregnant being "good news"

I had wrote that I was pregnant and that's good news...

I also played around with "Octo-mom" you know, that lady with Octopus...I mean, Octuplets... I've likened her more like a Squid-mom....

I called myself "Hexa-dad" cause I would be given birth to Hexagons....LMAO....

I guess I'll post part of what I wrote:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am pregnant with hexagons

I have already been contacted for a reality show:

" Hexa-dad, life with voodoo children!!"

the producers told me that I will become a very IMPOTENT person and then have two more children so that I will rival "Kong and Cake Plus Ate!!"

How's that for binary great news!! (well, if you count each -gons as one...then, it's hepatary news!!)

My producers also told me that my show will be on "Prime Time" on ABC opposite
"Squid Mom" and "Kong and Cake plus Ate"

da wife and I have already named all six kids:

"Line" we're hoping he/she will walk straight and fine

"Two Sided" we have a feeling he/she will be wishy washy

"Triangle" we think he/she will be a biologist that likes to dissect or maybe a Chemist that will create some new drug "High Pot Noose"

"Square" whose middle name will be "Peg" (but hopefully will not be "Married, with Children" for a long long time!)

"Pentagon" we have high hopes for, that he/she will be the next President of the You Knighted Stakes of A Merry Car...(at least a General)

"Hexagon" this is the one we're going to have to worry about while we hide all dolls and pins from him/her...

to top it all off, we're getting a parrot that we'll be naming: Polly-gon

Ti-Vo, DVR, VCR(if you're old school)

we're hoping for highest beratings in our time splot....

my OB/URL (obstetrician/Urologist)has informed that I am on my third semester and it all looks good. The Amoebacentesis came out well...all the chrome platesomes look good and and amnesiatic fluids are fine.

The children will be very forgetful, it seems, but that might be a plus...

he's also assured me that the birth won't be too painful like the kidney stones....and that's a HUGE plus pour moi...whew...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, that's HOW weird I think I am....but it best describes my brain and how it woks...LOL (yeah, I said woks instead of works, relax, will ya?)

alrighty, it's almost 3am and I am in desparate need to find a way to get some sleep...these sleepless nights aren't great for someone who needs a lot of rest post surgery....LOL

another yak, another night...til then, hoppy trailers, again...(see, I can't sto(o)p...)

Da Vinci and Square Pegs...

2009-08-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

it's funny I was writing and using square pegs today...then, I went to a dear friend's blog today and read about square pegs also.( I hope she'll know that this post isn't direct at her and she is truly wonderful writer and unique with a lot of deep thoughts)

so, I guess it's meant to be that I finally put my thoughts on square pegs on cyber ink

It's something that I have been thinking about throughout a big part of my life.

it all started years ago when I got fascinated with Leonardo (not Leonardo, Decapitated, the actor, it's da Vinci, the genius that I am fascinated with). I mean, who wouldn't BE fascinated with Leonardo da Vinci??

I saw Mona Lisa in person when I visited the Louvre. While it intrigued me, it wasn't my favorite piece or even top 10 of Leonardo's work.

Many of his other works are what intrigue me. One of the main one being, The Vitruvian Man.

I don't want to get into the "Canon of Proportions" of it. There are many more erudites out there that have tons of scholarly qualifications than I am so I'll let them sound off on it...

my own observation(s) has always been the square and the circle that surrounded the dude inside...

the square isn't quite fitted into the circle...yet, it IS considered inscribed in the circle.

I know da Vinci was a bit lonely....all geniuses seem to share that common theme. They are usually very lonely.

don't get me wrong. They are usually very respected and looked up upon. But they seem to share a common theme. They usually are alone...to themselves...

Beethoven is another that comes to mind but that's for another time and another day...

I wonder if da Vinci ever felt like he's a square peg trying to fit into a round circle.

Not that the he knew the term "square peg", mind you....

but does square peg have to be isolated to the English language alone?

In quite a few cultures, I have seen references of people using similar terms (feelings)like a square that don't fit into a circle.

first of all, interestingly enough. I can't recall seeing anybody feeling like they're ROUNDED that can't fit into a square.

it's all about being a square, something with edges and straight line...

very interesting....

I think it's probably because we often associate "perfection" without edges nor lines. And a circle, that is continuous and round and "pretty" is not something that most of us would associate ourselves with.

But what's even more interesting, is that most of us would choose a "Square" to represent ourselves....

not a triangle, nor a pentagon...

but squares.... associated with the number 4...yet 3 seems to be the most popular number in the world....

aha! I just had a lightbulb moment, "3" is popular, and "4" isn't!! Maybe I stumbled onto something???

it begs some deeper thoughts, I guess...I have no answers...just thought it was interesting...

but, the Virtuvian man IS thought to be perfect...shape, form, proportion, and I wonder WHO did da Vinci based that on?? I wonder if THAT particular "model" had thought himself a circle instead of a square? If so, how did he do it?

OK, back to Mona Lisa for a sec...

there's all the debates about if it was a self-portrait, if it was truly the portrait of Lisa Gheradini, if da Vinci was gay, if the painting was a joke, if it had a hidden message.

I'll let the experts debate about that...seeing it in person, I saw a lot of flaws of the painting and to be honest, for me, it wasn't his BEST work...

but it IS intriguing...THAT smile...

it's a bit...squarish...(and we often think of lips being round...)

how about that???

Why Do I Blab (blog)??

2009-08-20T22:33:00.001-07:00

Ok, it's like 1:30am and I am still wide awake, this stupid hunger/insomnia is driving me crazy...

I just ate THREE bananas...THREE...

wait a minute, I didn't post this to talk about bananas and my hunger!!

Why do I blab(blog)??

For some reason, I have made quite a bit of friends on and over the internet...

that plus families and friends that live long distances from us, makes emails very appealing...

except for ONE thing....

I am a lazy emailer...

if there was a job created for me to DELIEVER "EMAILS", I would be lazy...I would go POSTAL...or maybe Coastal, since I like the beach and stuff....

I am not sure how I got so lucky, but quite a bit of my friends really want to know how I am or how my family is doing.

and I am not one of those 3 sentences typers (nothing wrong with that, btw)....I am one of those I have to write a whole story from when I woke up to brush my teeth to how many kernels of corn I ate...to unlawful carnal knowledge...

and next thing you know, I'd written a book....to just ONE person....

then, I'd type things out again to the next, and the next....

then, I said to myself, heckit, I would just send out MASS emails...but I HATE doing that...

because sometimes, when I choose the contacts, I would even select the names of people that didn't ask about me, thinking that they'd be interested, and next thing I know, I'd get an email from them, "what?? huh?? who are you??"

LOL.....

I have been encouraged to blog quite a few times in the past few years....but never one to succumb to Facebook, Myspace, tweeter, I figured blogging is kind of like the same thing and ignored it for years...

although I do enjoy other people's blogs whenever they'd send me theirs...

I also have a tendency to let it all out....I am a no holds barred kinda dude....I mean, don't get me wrong, I AM a private person....but my emotions, as I write, comes out easily...

if I am PO'ed, you'd know it....if I am sad, you'd know it, if I am happy, you'd know it...if I am hungry, you'd know it!!

So, I questioned myself, do I want to blog, and talk about myself and do people really want to know that I am always hungry at 2am????

And do people really want to read my blab?? blab blab blab??

but then it konged on me...

it's better than mass emails....I simply include my blog at the end of my emails as my signature, and if people want to know what's going on, they can just click on my blab and read about it.

That takes care of the mass emails problem a bit...although it does seem like I am shamelessly advertizing my blogs....LOL

I really am not....I just am flattered that I have garnered enough interest from folks that truly care about me to want to know what's going on in my life....

and so, I am promoting my blog...

yes, that makes me indolent to the core....but it's easier for me and my friends...

don't get me wrong, I still will write personal emails....but if they want to know about me, I can most often than not, just point them to my blab...

but why TWO blogs...

this blog really is about my daily whimsical none sense. I didn't know that my life IS none sense until I started blogging....I am finding out more and more that I am not a normal person and that I am quite weird....

so, I needed a counter blog, one that includes my writings that reflects more of my journey in life and how I got here vs this blog here that just goes on and on and on about...nothing...

do I digress? OFTEN!

do I DIGEST!! well, after three bananas, I think I am digesting VERY well...but I am STILL hungry.......

you know that Simon and Car's Funk old song? "Stir crazy after all these ears??"

I am still hungry after all these blabs....

well, it's good to get this thought out....

stop "-ist" me!!!!

2009-08-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

has anyone noticed that there are a lot of -ists these days??

I always seem to be a magnet for these "-ists"...

opening the door for a woman , got glared by a feminist (would call her a lady but might get decked)

terrified of flying, because of the terrorists...

need to get some medicine, need a pharmacist..

they can't make the drugs, without a chemist...

he said white powDer? Was called a racist...

getting work 2/3rd done, sneered by a perfectionist...

accidentally stared at a girl's boobs, coined as a sexist... (was really looking at her pin, honIst!!)

I'd like to slap her silly, but that would make me a chauvinist...

thought I'd head to the beach, to think about being an empiracalist...

tried to fly a kite, laughed by a physicist...

maybe not empirical, more of a transcendentalist...

grew some grey hair, looked down by an ageist...

that really gets my go, I am now his antagonist

as I age I am told, go see a protoclogist...

aye yi yi, remind me not to be a scatologist...

those California fires, started by arsonist(s)....

the gov't ridiculed , by the cartoonist(s)....

some don't consider them, true artist(s)

who the critics think they are? bunch of no good elitist(s)

I had a roommate, who was a facist

he protested a lot, and was an activist

what used to be communists...are now called socialists....

I tried to very hard to avoid, I tried hard to res-ist...

but never could I, run from these pain in the ass-ists....

and wouldn't you know it, I'd never be forunate enough....

because I have never been able, to run into a nudist...

(these are the kind of things I think of at 4:30am when I am hungry and don't want to eat anything in the fridge and am refusing to take my pain medicines...LOL)

(should I put a copy right on this one?? what the heckit...
(© 2009 : Ed F.) (written today, right now, dammit...)

Starve Trek...the Necks Generalization...

2009-08-19T00:47:00.000-07:00

Yule Log: 8-19-2009, 3:50am

it's quiet and all through the house...

not a sound of cockroach

not even a mouse...

OK, OK, OK...

that really made no sense but it did to me...

I just got back from my umpteenth trip to "la fridge" and "le pantry"

by now, I know everything that's in my ice box and cabinets....

it's full of stuff....from A-Z....

and I am STARVING...

yet, I don't want anything that we have!!

I love nuts, we've got nuts; I love yogurt, we've got yogurt; I love leftovers, we've got leftovers!

we've got everything that I love to eat. Da wife and da mother and da mother in law made sure that everything is well stocked just for me! They even went out of their ways to make pies, cookies, whatever that I might crave for, for me!!

yet, I've gotten to the point of finicky, just like our cat lillie....

My throat is still pretty closed up from my surgery and I still choke up pretty much on anything bigger than a grain of rice.

But, the stomach has a mind of its own...it wants to eat.... yet, it wants NOTHING that we have...

how did I become this way? That there are tons of foods in the house yet I desire something that we don't have??

That's NOT me!! Is it??

~~~~~~~~

Pecan Log: somewhere in 1990...

I was a poor college student....

when I was living at home, I wouldn't touched left-overs...I despised it...

while we were not rich, my mother never deprived any food from her babies...she fed us all the time...

but in college, where I lived with lazy roommates, I had to get quite creative...especially making one meal last 3 meals...

left-overs thus became my favorite meals....because I knew what they were, and how they were going to taste(I learned how to cook or buy foods that would taste good as left-overs).

nothing was wasted. Even after finishing orange juice, I'd cut up the box and "scrape" the juice that were sticking to the carton and would "lick" it off...

left over mayos? Never...I got inventive on how to get them out...wrapping a clean paper towel onto a chopstick with rubberbands....then, I'd rub the paper towel over the bread...
(OK, I may be exaggerating a little bit here, but really, I came up with inventive ways to scrape everything...)

~~~~~~~~~~
Log(arithm): 8-19-09 4:02am...

I am sitting here with my stomach growling...I shouldn't be so picky...but I am about to get up again, to go and "see" what's in the fridge. I don't think it's changed since the last time I checked it...but I am still going to go try my luck...

because somewhere, in the back of my head where it absolutely makes NO sense....

I am hoping for a miracle...A MIRACLE WHIP, that is...

to be honest...I am really craving Kentucky's Fried Chicken right now....I need something Southern, Fried, and Greasey...

I am tired of eating puddings and foods that are made for babies or old people...I want REAL food...

waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

how did I become this way, is this going to be the value I'll be passing down to our grandkids? Is this how I will teach them to eat?

When there are starving Children in Japan (think Weird Al,LOL) and England? (or is it somewhere else?)

that's sad.....for I've become what I despised.....

hmmmm...doesn't Spock's ear look like Pig's ears?? I like Pig's ears...they say there is nothing on a pig that can't be eaten...hmmmmmmmmmmmm............

oh Spo-aaaack!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chocolate log: now....

I AM kind of craving some kind of sweet stuff, right now...

I am not big on Chocolates but I am craving a big ole chocolate cake or log...

my neck is kind of bothering me...

I hurt myself playing charade the other day...LOL of all things...charade...

then, I coughed so hard that I think I might have coughed a screw or two loose in my neck...

it's funny when I look at myself...it looks like I've had my head cut off...some days, it does feel that way....

It's not a great feeling, but I'll get better, I am not worried about that...there are people going through much greater pains and turmoils than I am...

and they may NOT have food to eat....

I should donate everything we have to the world hungry organization and let myself really starve for a few days....

and go back to the way that I was...that I would eat anything in sight vs. being so picky....

Gosh, I can't stand myself right now....I just got back from the fridge...NOTHING's changed...

I am so tempted to get out our fryer and our frozen chicken legs and eggs and flour and seasoning and cook myself some nice juicy greasy friend chickeM....

I might just sneak out tomorrow noon and get me some legs....and some wings....and some biscuits slopped with gravy and mashed taters slopped with gravy....

why am I typing this out? I am making myself more hungry!! AARRRGGGHHHHHH...

OK, back to the fridge I goeth...wish me luck!!

Whew

2009-08-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

I started writing tonight a bit about low-self esteem...

not for myself...but for my former self...and maybe...for others that might bother to read it...

I started off light-hearted and candid and wanting to set a tone that low-self esteem is not uncommon and that I wanted to address it head on and without deterrents and that I have finally conquered the issue (although NOT fully, but at least 2/3rds)

as I wrote, I began to realize how much it affected me...my past...as the memories resurfaced, it was not just about the low-self esteems but also about my family dynamics and how it all came together and how it fell apart in the first place.

there are no words for them. Well, yes, there could be words for them but it could take years to get every feeling and cross-roads written and dissected and I am not sure even myself would enjoy that...

when I got to the part about my father...I had to think about it very hard....

he's been gone 6 years now....he passed away in July, 6 years ago....

I had to be honest....but I don't want to bad mouth him...he was just as much of a victim as I was....

well, I say victim but we are usually only victims of ourselves and our own thoughts...

it got me thinking about him deeply again....

how I wish he was around....

I know now that he had major low-self esteem issues...but I didn't know back then...

how I wish that he could be here so I could address it with him, at him, for him, and maybe make him feel a little better...

he grew up without love...and he died without feeling love...at least, from me...his eldest son...

I regret so many decisions and I can't change them...

in writing them, the emotions and the truth are raw and painful....

but I must write and continue on...even when the truth is ugly....

behind all ugliness....there are always some kind of wonderful...and beauty....

I love you, Dad...in being honest, I get to know you more....in death, I got to love you more...

One day, I will get to talk to you again...I know it...I hope you will have forgiven me and yourself...and I look forward to that conversation with you...

do "I" become the pain??

2009-08-13T18:12:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, my dear friend drove me three hours to Augusta, GA, where I had my spine surgery almost two weeks ago for a check up.

In a way, I am still in disbelief that I'd had the surgery and it's been TWO weeks already...and against all the odds about my chance of being incapaciatated or/and maybe be doped up for 6 weeks or more, I started walking the very next day after my surgery.

My surgeon (the main one) was very happy to see me. He gave me good prognosis and while I am not a complainer, I did told him about my new pain, mostly surgery related and referred.

I know it'll take time....but it still HURTS...

on the one hand, I am very grateful...I am grateful that I can feel my fingers and toes and joints. I am grateful that I can BEND my legs and walk...I am grateful that I am now able to sit at the puter and type (although not like I used to be) at a somewhat encouraging speed WITHOUT pain! And that I can BEND all 10 fingers of mine....

WOW...

BUT, IT STILL HURTS...and IT HURTS LIKE HELL....

there are so many out there that hurt worse than I am...so, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining...

wait, YES, I AM!! IT HURTS, DAMMIT!!

There, I needed to say that and then I can get over it...

one of the things I have disagreed with my lovely, dear wife and the doctors are the pain pills...

I don't take them until absolutely necessary...I am not sure why...I really am not the "glutton for punishment" type...

but I just don't like taking pain meds..I only take it before I go to bed or unless I REALLY REALLY can't take it anymore...

but I avoid it...

so, I guess I can say that I "deserve" the pain that I'd given myself...

but on the other hand...I have talked to myself about this already....way before surgery...

I have told myself that I will be walking sooner than anyone expects, I am going to heal before anyone expects, and that I am going to be healthy again, before anyone expects...

no, I am not going to be dumb and start lifting 200lbs of beef like Blocky...

but I am being smart by doing little things...things that I used to take for granted...such as "Squatting" "walking" "picking up a glass of water"

When I go to pick up that glass of water, I pick it up about 20 times, I consider that a workout because I DO breath a little harder and I can feel my hand shaking..but I am lifting water!!

I can't become the pain...

I have lived with pain almost all of my life....my body is used to pain...of various kinds...and in the past, I've given in to it...

I haven't, in the past 9+ years or so....I have been getting to the better of the pain....

because I have finally talked myself out of it...to NOT become the pain....

I am still a pain in the arse to people...but I am no longer THE pain to me....

NO...NO LONGER...

so, the three hours ride there was hell, the three hours ride back was hell because of the road and the long hours...

but I was very lucky to have a great friend that drove me...he kept my spirit up....he made the trip seemed shorter...

and I am very lucky...because many people have offered helps and kindness and I am just hoping that I can repay everybody's kindness somehow, some day...

but for now, before I do anything...I must NOT become the pain....NEVER...

because if I do...I won't be able to become ANYTHING else...but a pain in butt to everyone....

to all my friends that are suffering and having pain...I FEEL YOU....I wish with all my heart that I can take your pain away from you....but you have learned to live with your pains on a daily basis and you have shown me how...

everyday, I live for the now, NOW...and I live to NOT become the pain..because I want to be...

MOI...

how I plan to become VERY wealthy.....

2009-08-13T18:10:00.000-07:00

...or at least, I have a concept of how I can become very wealthy....

Facebook, myspace, twitter; each one of these are worth a few BILLION bucks...

not millions but BILLIONS...

I had no idea social networking is SOOO profitable!! And we're having economic meltdowns? (Oh wait, that's because nobody is working and everyone is twittering!!! )

I looked at the formats of all three of them. They are not hard to replicate...

here are my ideas:

1) Fazed and Dazed book:

a social network for those of us that can't think straight and are often fazed and dazed by the social network sites themselves. I think there a lot of us out there that can't face book...but faze book, I think we can rally together for that (but we'll have to be brave about it. LOL)

before you say: UG2BK
let me say: WAG DM&YS

2) Sifter:

a social network that only allows 66 characters or less to filter out people that you don't want on your twitter...

before you say: OGMAB,M!
let me just say: Y,IAS

3) mime space:

there are a lot of social networks dedicated to those that talk (Speak), but I believe we have untapped resources in the mime area....

last I checked on the WMO (World Mimes Organization) there are currently 2 million mimes out there and even more out there without work or ways to communicate. (they hate ASKING for help and nobody can understand them if they were asking)...

my only challenge with Mime Space would be WORD problems....

before you say:
let me say:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you may shake your head right now, but when I become a billionaire. I'll sent for you by my coporate jet, just tell me what would you like on your fruit tray (although I'll be staffing my jet with mimes, so please learn some short hand mime language)

(what would BFF be in mime??????)

"When the Rock Cries"

2009-07-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

the other day, I felt some tear drops falling onto my back...

they were from my wonderful wife...

she was giving me a backrub to help ease my pain for I could barely walk the other day...

she murmured, "I am sorry that I am putting you through this..."

PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS???

She has NO idea...she has NOT put me through anything...but I knew what she meant...

I have become, "disabled", in a way the past couple of months...I am going to be getting surgery soon to hopefully resolve this problem.

In the meantime, we have taken in our two grandchildren who are filled with lots of energy and require a lot of attention.

I know she meant them...that she felt like she has burdened me with them...

first of all, they are NOT a burden...they are NOT easy, by any means, but they are not any burden...

second of all, it is NOT her fault by any means...

things happen and young people these days just don't have a sense of "responsibility" anymore....Not all, but it seems to have increased in this generation...

and if she only knew how much she has given me...what I have received from her...it is so worth it, taking on these two kids and still in exchange, I would still OWE her...

My wife, she is one of the kindest and gentlest souls out there...to all that she has come into contact with, they have nothing but praises for her...

Beneath the elegance and grace, she has tremendous resiliency and strength that is superwoman like...

that it doesn't reveal itself until the stormiest of the storm would come...

her life hasn't exactly been a cake walk...her first husband passed away of unfortunate circumstance on the same day that her brother died few years earlier due to the same circumstance.

along with that, her two children, both struggling , by wrong and bad choices, have put themselves in predicaments that no parents want their children to be in.

But I am happy to say that at least one of them seem to be "waking up" now and is trying...

the grand children's time has ran out and the timing was so that they needed to be here, with us, now...while their mom keeps on working on improving her life...

and now, there is me...struggling physically that has added another stressor to my wife's life...

but she never complaints as she is vigilant in her fight for MY life...

taking me to appointments by taking time out from her arduous work schedule. Dragging me to doctors that I don't really want to see to make sure that I get the best surgeons and care...

in the meanwhile, putting up with my recalcitrant and sometimes, implacable attitude undauntingly...

looking at her from the exterior, one couldn't help but want to protect her because she looks "fragile"

yet, only when one gets to know her, do they know her strength, and that she is a rock deep within...

but...a rock still needs to cry sometimes...because a rock can still chip...and break...

but she is the type of rock that can mend itself and then stand against the crashing waves again...because she has done it, many times..

through the test of time and hardship...

THIS, is my wife...solid, unwaivering and unwavering in her love for her family and loved ones.

She's a rock that cries...and sometimes, it is needed...

and I need her to know that, without her, my life would've never been complete...I would've never been the happiest that I'd ever been..

because even in all this pain and weakness...whenever I see her...I somehow find the strength to live....

again....

The Pugilist And The Towel...

2009-07-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

The general population have all probably seen a typical boxing type movie or two where the main character, a boxer, whom we'll generically name: Blocky Bowel Broka,
is often seen in the center of the ring getting beaten up and pounded by his nemesis and Blocky's coach/corner man would usually be yelling, "I am throwing in the bowel, I mean towel, BLOCKY!!"

And because it IS a movie, instead of admitting defeat and acceding to the towel throwing, Blocky would often yell out his wife or girlfriend's name: Atrium...

"Uh Nooooooooo, coach...do not trow in the towel...ATRIUM!!! ATRIUM!!!"

And Atrium would be found clutching her lips with tears streaming down yelling Blocky's name and for coach to throw in the towel...

It is often then at that very moment, that Blocky would find some sort of superhuman strength and then just come back and whip his foe's butt thus leading to a happy ending.

Bloods, Gores, et al....

That's cool...I know the movie is trying to serve as a moral rousing up morale about "NOT GIVING UP"

and what other better symbolism to use than a boxer that won't throw in his bowel?

Here is what I often would find interesting. Blocky's enemies usually aren't the BAD guys...

they are supposed to be fighting for the sports of it. But somehow, money and bad blood get into the mix and then a bad guy and good guy are kind of defined..

but were Blocky's enemies all bad guys? Even that big huge Russian dude who was shooting up steroids? (when in real life, the real Blocky was known to use and abuse steroids himself)

So there they are, fighting for their lives, for glory and fame and money...using their LIVES...I give no kudos to either Blocky nor his opponent. Neither serves a true purpose in real life. They are simply entertainers getting paid...

Boxing evolved as a true bar brawl sports and not something legitimate such as martial arts. It did evolve into some form of martial arts but most boxers got into the ring to train because they craved fame and fortune vs. finding the zen discpline that other martial arts offer.

Although a type of code has evolved amongst the boxers it is still consider more of a glory sport vs. self-discplinary sport.

Don't get me wrong, it takes a lot of discpline to box. It takes hard work. But the core and principle aren't usually there.

Pugilist came from the latin root: Pugnare (meaning: to fight)

in the Golden ages of the Roman/Greco Warriors code, pugilists had more codes back then. I don't mean the Gladiators of Rome although I have read that they follow a type of code as well, it was much more barbaric.

I am talking about the legions and the sentries and the Spartans. Those true warriors that were willing and to die for their country. All without glory and a lot of money (although the Roman army did get paid quite well and were well respected)

the root of a warrior's code was still there. Self-discpline was at the top of their code.

Easter Warriors such as the Shaolin monks also have that tough self-discplinary code that they put others well being above their own.

and these warriors truly will die for the love of their countries and loved ones.

I doubt a boxer out there will be willing to die for a cause. We can argue that Ali might have been the only one to really fought for a cause but he was one in a million. He stood out amongst other boxers (in his later years, not during his flashy years). And that was true growth of a true fighter.

I think of diseases that are brought upon people. People that don't ask for. It becomes a battle for them. Diseases that can rob them of their lives or just simply daily chores.

And it is very easy to throw in that towel...

those are the true pugilists...the ones fighting for their lives on a daily basis with the cancers and the strokes and the heart failures...

but if they follow the code of Blocky. They won't last long....because when the movie ends and the credits are rolling...life still goes on and the towel will be eventually thrown in...

"On Nights Such As This..."

2009-07-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

on a night such as this,

it's easy to reach

for something destructive

to take my life with ease...

I walk by the mirror

and all that I see,

is some stranger staring back at

the man I used to be...

body no longer mine

soul decided to stay

making it more painful than

being neutered or spayed...

I try to command my fingers,

I try to command my toes,

digits that were friendly once

all are now, foes

it is easy,

on nights such as this

to give in to

the temptation

for some eternal peace...

but looking around

my loved ones abound

I have to grit my teeth

"hey, stay one more round..."

the battle is intense

to the point of no avail...

but my heart tells me,

stick around for one more round

because I must---

prevail.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We all have pains. Be it physical pains or mental/psychological pains. We all have exprienced pains one way or another in our life time.

My eternal quest and question about pain is always simple: WHY PAIN??

from a physiological stand point, we need pain as a warning sign. If we don't feel pain when we get burned, then we won't know that we need medical treatment or that something is dangerous and hot. OK, I can deal with that kind of pain.

My question is more about the pains that we induce upon ourselves. The mental anguish kind that won't go away.

physical pains although painful, can still be dealt with. Because our bodies get used to it.

But the mental pain that either antecedes it or may be "symbiotic" toward the physical pains are the ones that are truly hard to deal with...

My physical pain has gotten to the point of unbearable in just a very short period of time. I've had friends that had suffered this way or are suffering this way. And while I was sympathetic before (I had pain, but not to this degree), I now have full blown sympathy.

simple tasks such as walking or picking up a cat now requires great mental strength to will the weak physical body.

Even typing on the keyboard hurts and aches the fingers...

however, as the days go by. I am getting adjusted to it and can take on the pain.

but the mental pain leaves a deep dark scar in my mind and head. Because I just cannot seem to accept this "new" body that I am in.

I was able to pick up a 100lb weight with ease just a month ago. Now, I am having problem picking up a 1/2 gallon of milk.

I look around to the folks that are suffering from this and I see that they are walking around and I say to myself.

"HOW DO THEY DO IT??"

Those folks ARE my heroes...

in this day and age when we are honoring the rich and the infamous as heroes and idols.

I wonder about our sense of values and where it is going to wind up in.

We NEED to be talking about the everyday heroes that have to will all their mind and body parts just to get out of bed so they can take care of their family.

I am awaiting surgery. I am awaiting fate.

where would my fate take me, I have no idea...but I hope that the moment that I close my eyes eternally, that I will take a part of me, the true heroes of this earth into my next journey....